hypochondriac. Anyway, he went back to New York to be close to his doctor.” Jill rubbed her temples with her fingertips. “Do you think there’s a significant pattern here?”
My mind was racing. “In what way?”
“First the judge, then the best man. I can’t see everything going wrong on the day of my wedding without believing that someone is trying to tell me something. ‘From shadows and symbols into truth.’ That’s what Cardinal Newman said.”
“Where did Cardinal Newman come from?” I asked. “I thought you had fallen away.”
Jill rolled her eyes. “Fallen away, yes, but not unmarked. A Catholic education is like stigmata, perpetually suppurating. It’s been thirty-five years since Sister Phyllis Mary filled me in on what boys want from girls, but I still can’t sit next to a man in a car without remembering that I should leave room for the hips of the Virgin between me and my date.”
Despite everything, I smiled. Jill caught my response. “I know it sounds crazy, but the Church was right about a lot of things. My sex life wouldn’t have been such a disaster if I’d left room for the hips of the Virgin between me and most of the men I’ve known. And you and I are both old enough to know that Cardinal Newman was right about shadows and symbols. Sometimes, no matter how much you want something, it’s suicide not to read the signs.”
As the hour for the wedding grew near, I didn’t need to be a Prince of the Church to know that the gods were not smiling. The box from the florist arrived, but the spray of creamy camellias Jill had ordered to tuck in her hair had been mysteriously replaced by a candy-cane nightmare of spruce cuttings and red and white carnations. Rapti’s attempt to fashion a replacement spray by cutting camellias from the bridal bouquet ended when the Swiss Army knife she was using slipped and sliced her finger so badly that only Angus’s first-aid training saved us from a trip to the medi-centre. As I held the petals under the tap to rinse the blood off, I was shaking.
When the phone rang, I dropped the flowers in the sink and raced to it. From the moment Jill told me that Gabe had bowed out of the wedding, I had been spinning a theory that Gabe’s illness was subterfuge and that somehow he had stumbled upon information that needed to be verified before he could stop a marriage that clearly shouldn’t take place. Considering that we had known each other for only six hours, my faith in him might have seemed bizarre, but I felt that Gabe and I had made a connection that went beyond the tectonic-plate-shifting power of sexual attraction. I hadn’t yet learned the name of his favourite string quartet or how he liked his eggs in the morning, but the night before he had promised to take a walk in the snow with me, and I knew at my core that a fluttering pulse wouldn’t have kept him from honouring his promise.
When I picked up the receiver, I was so prepared to hear Gabe’s Columbo growl that my daughter Mieka’s voice was a shock. She was calling from Davidson, a town halfway between her home in Saskatoon and mine in Regina. The snow had grown so heavy that highway driving was treacherous, and she and her husband had decided to turn back. Mieka loved Jill, and I knew how much she had looked forward to being at the wedding and meeting Jill’s new family. I could hear the disappointment in her voice. I was disappointed too, but as I hung up, I felt an unexpected wash of relief. The omens were not good, and I was glad Mieka and her family would be out of harm’s way.
I’d just finished dressing when Claudia and Bryn arrived. They were alone.
“No Tracy?” I asked, as I helped them off with their coats.
Claudia shook her head. “The older she gets, the longer it takes her to get ready, but she’ll be along.” Claudia locked eyes with me. “Nothing is going to go wrong with this wedding. I want you to know that.” It was impossible to tell from her tone if her
My mind was racing. “In what way?”
“First the judge, then the best man. I can’t see everything going wrong on the day of my wedding without believing that someone is trying to tell me something. ‘From shadows and symbols into truth.’ That’s what Cardinal Newman said.”
“Where did Cardinal Newman come from?” I asked. “I thought you had fallen away.”
Jill rolled her eyes. “Fallen away, yes, but not unmarked. A Catholic education is like stigmata, perpetually suppurating. It’s been thirty-five years since Sister Phyllis Mary filled me in on what boys want from girls, but I still can’t sit next to a man in a car without remembering that I should leave room for the hips of the Virgin between me and my date.”
Despite everything, I smiled. Jill caught my response. “I know it sounds crazy, but the Church was right about a lot of things. My sex life wouldn’t have been such a disaster if I’d left room for the hips of the Virgin between me and most of the men I’ve known. And you and I are both old enough to know that Cardinal Newman was right about shadows and symbols. Sometimes, no matter how much you want something, it’s suicide not to read the signs.”
As the hour for the wedding grew near, I didn’t need to be a Prince of the Church to know that the gods were not smiling. The box from the florist arrived, but the spray of creamy camellias Jill had ordered to tuck in her hair had been mysteriously replaced by a candy-cane nightmare of spruce cuttings and red and white carnations. Rapti’s attempt to fashion a replacement spray by cutting camellias from the bridal bouquet ended when the Swiss Army knife she was using slipped and sliced her finger so badly that only Angus’s first-aid training saved us from a trip to the medi-centre. As I held the petals under the tap to rinse the blood off, I was shaking.
When the phone rang, I dropped the flowers in the sink and raced to it. From the moment Jill told me that Gabe had bowed out of the wedding, I had been spinning a theory that Gabe’s illness was subterfuge and that somehow he had stumbled upon information that needed to be verified before he could stop a marriage that clearly shouldn’t take place. Considering that we had known each other for only six hours, my faith in him might have seemed bizarre, but I felt that Gabe and I had made a connection that went beyond the tectonic-plate-shifting power of sexual attraction. I hadn’t yet learned the name of his favourite string quartet or how he liked his eggs in the morning, but the night before he had promised to take a walk in the snow with me, and I knew at my core that a fluttering pulse wouldn’t have kept him from honouring his promise.
When I picked up the receiver, I was so prepared to hear Gabe’s Columbo growl that my daughter Mieka’s voice was a shock. She was calling from Davidson, a town halfway between her home in Saskatoon and mine in Regina. The snow had grown so heavy that highway driving was treacherous, and she and her husband had decided to turn back. Mieka loved Jill, and I knew how much she had looked forward to being at the wedding and meeting Jill’s new family. I could hear the disappointment in her voice. I was disappointed too, but as I hung up, I felt an unexpected wash of relief. The omens were not good, and I was glad Mieka and her family would be out of harm’s way.
I’d just finished dressing when Claudia and Bryn arrived. They were alone.
“No Tracy?” I asked, as I helped them off with their coats.
Claudia shook her head. “The older she gets, the longer it takes her to get ready, but she’ll be along.” Claudia locked eyes with me. “Nothing is going to go wrong with this wedding. I want you to know that.” It was impossible to tell from her tone if her
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