The Guide to Getting It On by Paul Joannides

workers born of the Internet. They are the strippers of the electronic age.
    Sexting
    Modern technology has thrown nakedness another twist in the form of sexting, where a person takes pictures of their naked body (or parts of it) with their phone and sends them to someone else. So the camera phone has taken what would have formerly been a slice of the pornographic pie and personalized it.
    It is doubtful that the women who snap upskirt photos of their naked crotches or breasts are consciously aware of this amazing intersection between their private lives and the world of online porn they have grown up watching. On the other hand, it’s painfully obvious that the men who sext photos of their erect penises are not only aware of it, but are reveling in it. It’s as if they honestly believe that women will be unable to resist them once they receive photos of their penises on their phones. And in that sense, the men who do this fancy themselves as the new male strippers.
    Sexting has had so much media play and will continue to do so that it’s hard to even know where to begin discussing it. Perhaps for the next edition of The Guide it will have its own chapter. For now, the best advice for people who are of a legal age and want to sext is to make an attempt to find creative and seductive ways of sexting rather than simply being porn-actor wannabes. There are now books and articles on how to sext creatively and how to show less flesh and more allure when you sext. Why not research the subject and try to use the amazing capacity of your smartphone to create your own unique sexting style?
    In time, sexting won’t be in the chapter on getting naked, but instead will be in the romance and talking-to-your-partner-about-sex chapters. But for now, it remains stripping adjacent.
    Dear Paul,
    I get seriously turned on when my girlfriend is wearing pantyhose. There’s something about the feel of them on her legs that makes Mr. Winky pop straight in the air. Any advice about this? —Seamless in Seattle
    Dear Seamless,
    Given how most of our mothers wore nylons or pantyhose, and considering how often our toddler selves stood next to them with arms wrapped around their legs, it’s a wonder more guys aren’t stirred into action by the feel of a woman in pantyhose.
    Assuming your girlfriend is understanding and willing, ask her to cut out the cotton crotch on a pair of pantyhose. Thanks to the new ventilation system, you’ll be able to go down on her as well as have intercourse while she is wearing her customized pantyhose. Make sure she cuts out the crotch on the inside of the seam so they don’t unravel. Also, consider helping her to arrive orally before slipping your penis in, because it isn’t likely that you will be lasting for long if nylons are your thing. If she isn’t handy with scissors, she can purchase crotchless pantyhose in some stores, but probably not at places like WalMart.
    For those of you who are wondering about the difference between a guy with a healthy appreciation of girls in pantyhose versus one with a fetish or paraphilia, see Chapter 47: Kinky Corner .
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    Thanks to the writings of Barbara Keesling, Linda Levine, Lonnie Barbach, Cynthia Heimel, and Jay Wiseman for naked inspiration. Ditto to the folks at Los Angeles’ Trashy Lingerie, and to Katherine Liepe-Levinson, author of Strip Show. Thanks also to Leslie Davisson who was involved in the original launch of The Guide .



CHAPTER
    5
    On the Penis
    T his chapter was written for women readers, although the men who have seen it claim to be amused. The topic is boys and their toys. Hopefully the following pages provide some insight into the love, and sometimes hate, relationship between a man and his weenie.
    Toys, Pain & Pleasure
    As a woman, the first thing you will find out about penises and testicles is that most guys take them way too seriously. There are reasons for this:
     
The penis is the only childhood toy that a guy gets to keep and play with