if they’d been waiting for one but I had. “Now listen up,” I told them. “Never mind Father Clay, we’re gonna do something a lot better than Father Clay, believe me. Better for every one. But it’s gonna take a little money to get started. Takes money to make money, ever hear that? So. Very first thing we gotta do—”
Lou grabbed the rock and took off running.
She would have got away—I can’t run more than ten yards at a stretch—but she tripped and fell and dropped the rock. I was bending over for it but Ralph scooped it up, so I put out my foot and he went down hard. He held on to the rock though, so I quick sat down on his back, straddling him, most of my weight on my knees. But that could change.
I explained the choice he had to make. Hand over the rock or be slowly crushed to death. “It’s up to you,” I said. “Your fate is in your own—”
Lou grabbed my right tit from behind and twisted it like you wouldn’t believe. I screamed but she kept twisting it until I rolled off of him.
I laid there in pain, watching them run back to the wagon, Ralph holding the rock under his arm like a football, Lou spinning around, laughing and dancing.
Lou
We had Jesus back and I felt like twisting the night away.
Twistin, twistin, everybody’s feeling great...
Ralph set it down in the wagon, careful, and we got out of there, him pulling, me trotting alongside.
I looked back.
No Fatso.
Twistin, twistin...
Ralph told me to quit dancing but I couldn’t help it.
Twistin the night away...
Toby
After they were gone I laid there for a while crying into my arms. Which I’m old for, I know, but I felt so sorry for myself, this big sweaty thing laying there in the weeds like that. I raised my head and looked up at the sky: “Why me, Lord? Why me?” Then I dumped my face in my arms again and cried some more for the lonely fatboy.
But after a while I stopped.
I got up and brushed myself off.
I started walking after them.
I wanted that head.
President Kennedy
A strict quarantine on all offensive military equipment under shipment to Cuba is being initiated. All ships of any kind bound for Cuba from whatever nation or port found to contain cargo of offensive weapons will be returned.
Ralph
Lou waited on the sidewalk with the wagon and the Jesus rock and I went up and rang the bell. After I rang it again the door opened and there was this little miniature grayhaired lady with shaggy eyebrows and her glasses on a string. “Yes?” she said. “May I help you?”
I told her I wanted to see Father Clay please.
She said Father wasn’t here right now. “Is it something very important?”
“Well...when will he be back, do you know?”
“Not for quite a while, I’m sure. He’s at the church hearing confessions. Have you seen the lines, how long?”
“Ralph,” Lou said.
I looked back at her.
“Rowley,” she said.
I asked the woman what about Father Rowley.
“He’s there as well. Ordinarily one is enough, but not today,” she said, and moved her shaggy eyebrows up and down like Groucho.
I said, “You mean, because of...”
“Have you been?” she asked.
“To confession?”
“Either one of you? Have you gone? Are you prepared?”
“To die, you mean?”
“Children’s confessions are this afternoon from one until four. I advise you to go, both of you.” She started closing the door.
“Wait,” I said.
She waited.
“We have something.”
“Oh?”
“For Father Clay.”
“Well? What is it?”
“It’s a...well, it’s...actually...”
“It’s Jesus,” Lou said, bringing the wagon up. She took out the rock and handed it to me and I held it up towards the woman, face out.
“We found this,” I told her.
She put her glasses on and looked it over, nodding her head. “Interesting. I see what you mean,” she said, not very excited, and took off her glasses. “Why don’t you leave it here on the stoop? That way, when Father returns this evening he’ll find it
Lou grabbed the rock and took off running.
She would have got away—I can’t run more than ten yards at a stretch—but she tripped and fell and dropped the rock. I was bending over for it but Ralph scooped it up, so I put out my foot and he went down hard. He held on to the rock though, so I quick sat down on his back, straddling him, most of my weight on my knees. But that could change.
I explained the choice he had to make. Hand over the rock or be slowly crushed to death. “It’s up to you,” I said. “Your fate is in your own—”
Lou grabbed my right tit from behind and twisted it like you wouldn’t believe. I screamed but she kept twisting it until I rolled off of him.
I laid there in pain, watching them run back to the wagon, Ralph holding the rock under his arm like a football, Lou spinning around, laughing and dancing.
Lou
We had Jesus back and I felt like twisting the night away.
Twistin, twistin, everybody’s feeling great...
Ralph set it down in the wagon, careful, and we got out of there, him pulling, me trotting alongside.
I looked back.
No Fatso.
Twistin, twistin...
Ralph told me to quit dancing but I couldn’t help it.
Twistin the night away...
Toby
After they were gone I laid there for a while crying into my arms. Which I’m old for, I know, but I felt so sorry for myself, this big sweaty thing laying there in the weeds like that. I raised my head and looked up at the sky: “Why me, Lord? Why me?” Then I dumped my face in my arms again and cried some more for the lonely fatboy.
But after a while I stopped.
I got up and brushed myself off.
I started walking after them.
I wanted that head.
President Kennedy
A strict quarantine on all offensive military equipment under shipment to Cuba is being initiated. All ships of any kind bound for Cuba from whatever nation or port found to contain cargo of offensive weapons will be returned.
Ralph
Lou waited on the sidewalk with the wagon and the Jesus rock and I went up and rang the bell. After I rang it again the door opened and there was this little miniature grayhaired lady with shaggy eyebrows and her glasses on a string. “Yes?” she said. “May I help you?”
I told her I wanted to see Father Clay please.
She said Father wasn’t here right now. “Is it something very important?”
“Well...when will he be back, do you know?”
“Not for quite a while, I’m sure. He’s at the church hearing confessions. Have you seen the lines, how long?”
“Ralph,” Lou said.
I looked back at her.
“Rowley,” she said.
I asked the woman what about Father Rowley.
“He’s there as well. Ordinarily one is enough, but not today,” she said, and moved her shaggy eyebrows up and down like Groucho.
I said, “You mean, because of...”
“Have you been?” she asked.
“To confession?”
“Either one of you? Have you gone? Are you prepared?”
“To die, you mean?”
“Children’s confessions are this afternoon from one until four. I advise you to go, both of you.” She started closing the door.
“Wait,” I said.
She waited.
“We have something.”
“Oh?”
“For Father Clay.”
“Well? What is it?”
“It’s a...well, it’s...actually...”
“It’s Jesus,” Lou said, bringing the wagon up. She took out the rock and handed it to me and I held it up towards the woman, face out.
“We found this,” I told her.
She put her glasses on and looked it over, nodding her head. “Interesting. I see what you mean,” she said, not very excited, and took off her glasses. “Why don’t you leave it here on the stoop? That way, when Father returns this evening he’ll find it
Similar Books
