The Hawkline Monster: A Gothic Western by Richard Brautigan Page B

monster. You carry the lantern and this Filipino bustin’ gun and I’ll do the shotgun.”
    He handed the automatic pistol and the extra clip of bullets to Greer while saying, “Give me that .38 there.”
    Greer gave him the .38.
    “I can get this rifle working real quick if we need it,”
    Greer said. “And if the son-of-a-bitch jumps us, we’ve got enough stuff here to turn it into sausage.”
    “Can we be of any help?” Miss Hawkline said.
    “No, girls. You’d just be in our way,” Cameron said.
    “This is our line of work. So you just keep out of the way and we’ll kill your monster for you. Who knows? Maybe we’ll eat it for supper tonight. It might be real tasty.”

• Journey to the Ice Caves •
    The Hawkline women guided them down the hall to a flight of stairs that led to the laboratory and the ice caves.
    They were halfway down the hall when they heard a heavy slow shuffling sound. It was the butler. He emerged, head ducking through a door, into the hall.
    “You’re going to kill the monster,” he said, in a very old voice. His mouth moved and his voice seemed to come out moments later.
    He towered above them.
    His hair was white like the frost on the grass outside the house.
    “The monster ate my master,” the giant butler said. “If only I were younger, I’d kill that monster with my bare hands.”
    His hands were huge and knotted with arthritis. Probably in their day they could have killed a monster but now they were in repose like old gray uneatable hams.
    “You’re going to kill the monster,” the giant butler repeated. He was very tired from his trip to Brooks to pick up new things for The Chemicals. He was getting too old to make a trip that long.
    The giant butler’s eyelids were drooping.
    “Thank God,” he said. The word God almost lost itself in his throat. It sounded like somebody sitting down in an old chair.

• The Door •
    The door that led to the basement was a heavy iron door with two bolts on it. Miss Hawkline pulled the bolts back.
    There was also a large padlock on the door. The lock was very impressive. It looked like a small bank. Miss Hawkline took a huge key out of her dress pocket. She put the key into the padlock and started to turn it when suddenly there was a huge crashing noise behind them.
    They were all startled and turned around to see the giant butler spread out, over 7 feet and 300 pounds, on the floor. He looked like a stranded boat in the hall.
    Miss Hawkline ran down the hall toward him. The other Miss Hawkline followed like a shadow in her footsteps. They crouched on their knees over the giant butler.
    Greer and Cameron stood there looking down. They already knew he was dead while the two Miss Hawklines still searched for life in his body. When they discovered that he was dead, they both stood up. Their faces were suddenly very composed. There were no tears in their eyes though they loved Mr. Morgan like an uncle.
    Greer was holding a lantern in his hand and he had a rifle slung over his shoulder and a large pistol stuck in his belt. Cameron was holding a sawed-off twelve-gauge shotgun in his hands. The giant butler lay dead on the floor. The two Miss Hawklines stood there silent, totally composed, looking unreally beautiful.
    “What do we do now, young ladies?” Cameron said. “Kill the monster or bury the butler?”

• Thanatopsis Exit •
    “Do you know what I really want to do?” Miss Hawkline said.
    “What?” Cameron said.
    “I’d like to get fucked.”
    Cameron looked down at the giant butler and then at Miss Hawkline.
    “I’d like to get fucked, too,” the other Miss Hawkline said to her sister. “That’s what I’ve been thinking for the last hour. It would be very nice to get fucked.”
    Greer and Cameron stood there with their guns while the giant butler lay there alone and forgotten with his death. Greer took a deep breath. What the hell? You might as well do one thing as another.
    “First things first,” Cameron said.