we were back on track… then to have it all ripped right out from under me. How could he be so thoughtless? So self-centered?
Clinging to my anger ensured that I didn’t fall back into his arms. After over seven years, it was time I stood up for what I wanted. Things that were important to me. But I knew if I saw him, there was a good chance he’d draw me back in. My brain was no match for the needs and desires of my heart and body. Not yet at least. I needed as much time as possible to build up my defenses to resist him. Like maybe forever.
Unfortunately, forever was right around the corner.
“above all, I just want you to know
how significant you are in case no
other human in this cruel world
tells you so. you do not have to be
a symphony or a masterpiece to
do good in this world.
there is so much love to give and
receive if only you allow your
heart to be open. stretch it out
as wide as the horizon. fill your
soul with all the world’s beauty as
the tragic things in your eyes
crash down around you like ash.
let nothing stop you. not one damn thing.
so, I guess all that is left,
that which was left in the beginning,
is to love every single thing that
surrounds you as if death was soon
to come for us all.”
-Christopher Poindexter
Seth
EFFIE TRUDGED THROUGH the snow from her apartment to my car, the look of annoyance set firmly in her thinned lips. Clambering into the passenger’s seat with a groan, she leaned back and closed her eyes.
“Why in the hell am I awake at this hour on a Sunday?” she complained.
I chuckled and shook my head then pulled away from the curb. “It’s 9:30, Eff. Most people are awake by now. Plus, you’re the one who called me to come get you. What all’s going on? I didn’t understand half of your half-asleep jibberish on the phone.”
“I dunno.” She shrugged, keeping her eyes shut. “Oliver called and said that one of the Mending Hearts kids was in ICU and he and Monroe had gone to the hospital, but she’d left her purse at home. They won’t let her in without her ID and she doesn’t want to leave, so you supposedly have a key to their house and can let me in to get it.”
“Why didn’t Monroe just call me to go get it?” I wondered aloud, careful not to express my curiosities about her and Oliver being at the hospital together. It had been almost three months since the morning she’d called me about Colin’s injury, and though I’d thought about calling her several times to see if she wanted to meet up for lunch, I never did. Plus, now that Effie worked as Monroe’s personal assistant, she unintentionally kept me up-to-date with what was going on with the Cassidys, not knowing that Colin and I hadn’t talked in over four months.
My sister shrugged again, a smug grin tipping her lips. “Who knows? Maybe Oliver just wants to see me. I have that effect on guys who aren’t my brother, ya know?”
Rolling my eyes was my only answer as I redirected my focus back on the road in front of me. Ten minutes later, we pulled up in front of their Beacon Hill estate and Effie jumped out of the car with my key, rushing inside to fetch Monroe’s purse. As I waited for her in the idling vehicle, the radio on the commercial reminded me of the AFC Championship game later that evening between the Denver Broncos and our hometown Patriots. A game everyone in the city would most likely be watching.
Everyone but me.
Living here was hard enough. Everywhere I turned, there were billboards or commercials with Colin’s face constantly thrown at me. He was revered as a god, Beantown’s golden child that men, women, and children alike adored unwaveringly. And even though time had dulled the sharp pain of my heartache, it didn’t make it any easier to be reminded regularly of what I’d once had.
The cold, biting wind filled the car when Effie returned, pulling me from my melancholy thoughts. She buckled her seatbelt, holding the small black
Clinging to my anger ensured that I didn’t fall back into his arms. After over seven years, it was time I stood up for what I wanted. Things that were important to me. But I knew if I saw him, there was a good chance he’d draw me back in. My brain was no match for the needs and desires of my heart and body. Not yet at least. I needed as much time as possible to build up my defenses to resist him. Like maybe forever.
Unfortunately, forever was right around the corner.
“above all, I just want you to know
how significant you are in case no
other human in this cruel world
tells you so. you do not have to be
a symphony or a masterpiece to
do good in this world.
there is so much love to give and
receive if only you allow your
heart to be open. stretch it out
as wide as the horizon. fill your
soul with all the world’s beauty as
the tragic things in your eyes
crash down around you like ash.
let nothing stop you. not one damn thing.
so, I guess all that is left,
that which was left in the beginning,
is to love every single thing that
surrounds you as if death was soon
to come for us all.”
-Christopher Poindexter
Seth
EFFIE TRUDGED THROUGH the snow from her apartment to my car, the look of annoyance set firmly in her thinned lips. Clambering into the passenger’s seat with a groan, she leaned back and closed her eyes.
“Why in the hell am I awake at this hour on a Sunday?” she complained.
I chuckled and shook my head then pulled away from the curb. “It’s 9:30, Eff. Most people are awake by now. Plus, you’re the one who called me to come get you. What all’s going on? I didn’t understand half of your half-asleep jibberish on the phone.”
“I dunno.” She shrugged, keeping her eyes shut. “Oliver called and said that one of the Mending Hearts kids was in ICU and he and Monroe had gone to the hospital, but she’d left her purse at home. They won’t let her in without her ID and she doesn’t want to leave, so you supposedly have a key to their house and can let me in to get it.”
“Why didn’t Monroe just call me to go get it?” I wondered aloud, careful not to express my curiosities about her and Oliver being at the hospital together. It had been almost three months since the morning she’d called me about Colin’s injury, and though I’d thought about calling her several times to see if she wanted to meet up for lunch, I never did. Plus, now that Effie worked as Monroe’s personal assistant, she unintentionally kept me up-to-date with what was going on with the Cassidys, not knowing that Colin and I hadn’t talked in over four months.
My sister shrugged again, a smug grin tipping her lips. “Who knows? Maybe Oliver just wants to see me. I have that effect on guys who aren’t my brother, ya know?”
Rolling my eyes was my only answer as I redirected my focus back on the road in front of me. Ten minutes later, we pulled up in front of their Beacon Hill estate and Effie jumped out of the car with my key, rushing inside to fetch Monroe’s purse. As I waited for her in the idling vehicle, the radio on the commercial reminded me of the AFC Championship game later that evening between the Denver Broncos and our hometown Patriots. A game everyone in the city would most likely be watching.
Everyone but me.
Living here was hard enough. Everywhere I turned, there were billboards or commercials with Colin’s face constantly thrown at me. He was revered as a god, Beantown’s golden child that men, women, and children alike adored unwaveringly. And even though time had dulled the sharp pain of my heartache, it didn’t make it any easier to be reminded regularly of what I’d once had.
The cold, biting wind filled the car when Effie returned, pulling me from my melancholy thoughts. She buckled her seatbelt, holding the small black
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