he couldn't explain, feelings he didn't have for his other patients. He prided himself on treating everyone equally. He'd already crossed the line.
Colin remained lost in thought for several more seconds before realizing that Rosario was speaking and he wasn't listening.
“ I'm sorry, Rosario. You were saying?” he asked, looking sheepish.
“ I was saying that I've really cut myself off from life since I left nursing. I think it's been harder for me because I saw the changes in my body, and having a medical background, I knew what they meant.”
“ You never mentioned you'd been a nurse,” Colin said. “How come?”
“ I guess I didn't want you to think I knew more than you did.”
“ Do you?” Colin asked playfully, grateful for anything to break the tension.
“ I don't know. How much do you know?”
“ I don't feel like I know much today,” he admitted.
“ Then we're even,” Rosario said with a smile. For a moment the tension was gone.
“ When did you leave nursing?” Colin asked.
“ Six months before Eduardo died. After he was gone, I never went back.”
“ I'm sorry, Rosario. Do you miss it?”
“ I do. I always thought I would go back. Now I wish I had.”
“ That's the thing about wishes,” Colin said abstractly, wishing he could change the subject. He was desperate to help, but Rosario wasn't making it easy. He had another idea. “Do you have a church, Rosario?” he asked.
“ I do.”
“ Is there anyone there who could help you?”
“ I've kept everyone at a distance. I was ashamed, although with my background I shouldn't have been. It happens. It happened to us. I have two good friends. One lost her husband on 9/11 and is a widow with five children. She moved back to Texas to live with her parents. The other lives in Jacksonville. She's divorced with two small children, and is having a hard time financially. I just don't know where to turn. To be honest with you, as much as I love both of these women, I am not sure either is right for Mia. She's special.”
Colin agreed, but didn't say so. “Any other friends, Rosario? Is there anyone you think might be able to give Mia what she needs?” he asked.
“ Just one person.”
“ Have to talked to this person?”
“ I'm talking to him now.”
Colin wasn't sure how to respond. He simply stared at the woman across from him, but she had turned back to the window. She's asking me to raise Mia. Colin had suspected the question was coming, but he still felt as though he couldn't breathe. He had no idea how to answer. At a loss, he instead turned to more questions.
“ What happened to your parents?” he asked, and Rosario looked back at him.
“ They were coming to see me after Mia was born. It's funny, they were so afraid to fly........,” Rosario trailed off, sadly.
“ Plane crash?” he asked thoughtfully.
“ No, that's the odd part,” Rosario said, as Colin listened quietly. He suspected she was lost in a memory, and he said nothing, allowing her the moment in her mind. The moment passed, and Rosario looked back at him.
“ They were killed in a car accident in Puerto Rico, on their way to the airport. They moved back after I graduated from college. I moved to New York with Eduardo in 1999. The following year, they moved back home. The trip to New York was their wedding gift to me. I wanted to see them. I wanted them to meet my husband, and by then I knew he didn't have much time. It was just after Mia was born.”
“ I'm sorry,” Colin said softly.
“ Me, too,” Rosario said. “But I'm not sorry they went together. They would have wanted it that way,” she said, with a weak smile. “They really loved each other.”
“ My parents went together,” Colin whispered.
“ I'm sorry,” Rosario said.
“ What?” he said, unaware he'd spoken the words out loud.
“ About your parents.”
“ Oh, I didn't realize I'd said that out loud.”
“ I'm glad you did. What happened?” she asked.
“ It
Colin remained lost in thought for several more seconds before realizing that Rosario was speaking and he wasn't listening.
“ I'm sorry, Rosario. You were saying?” he asked, looking sheepish.
“ I was saying that I've really cut myself off from life since I left nursing. I think it's been harder for me because I saw the changes in my body, and having a medical background, I knew what they meant.”
“ You never mentioned you'd been a nurse,” Colin said. “How come?”
“ I guess I didn't want you to think I knew more than you did.”
“ Do you?” Colin asked playfully, grateful for anything to break the tension.
“ I don't know. How much do you know?”
“ I don't feel like I know much today,” he admitted.
“ Then we're even,” Rosario said with a smile. For a moment the tension was gone.
“ When did you leave nursing?” Colin asked.
“ Six months before Eduardo died. After he was gone, I never went back.”
“ I'm sorry, Rosario. Do you miss it?”
“ I do. I always thought I would go back. Now I wish I had.”
“ That's the thing about wishes,” Colin said abstractly, wishing he could change the subject. He was desperate to help, but Rosario wasn't making it easy. He had another idea. “Do you have a church, Rosario?” he asked.
“ I do.”
“ Is there anyone there who could help you?”
“ I've kept everyone at a distance. I was ashamed, although with my background I shouldn't have been. It happens. It happened to us. I have two good friends. One lost her husband on 9/11 and is a widow with five children. She moved back to Texas to live with her parents. The other lives in Jacksonville. She's divorced with two small children, and is having a hard time financially. I just don't know where to turn. To be honest with you, as much as I love both of these women, I am not sure either is right for Mia. She's special.”
Colin agreed, but didn't say so. “Any other friends, Rosario? Is there anyone you think might be able to give Mia what she needs?” he asked.
“ Just one person.”
“ Have to talked to this person?”
“ I'm talking to him now.”
Colin wasn't sure how to respond. He simply stared at the woman across from him, but she had turned back to the window. She's asking me to raise Mia. Colin had suspected the question was coming, but he still felt as though he couldn't breathe. He had no idea how to answer. At a loss, he instead turned to more questions.
“ What happened to your parents?” he asked, and Rosario looked back at him.
“ They were coming to see me after Mia was born. It's funny, they were so afraid to fly........,” Rosario trailed off, sadly.
“ Plane crash?” he asked thoughtfully.
“ No, that's the odd part,” Rosario said, as Colin listened quietly. He suspected she was lost in a memory, and he said nothing, allowing her the moment in her mind. The moment passed, and Rosario looked back at him.
“ They were killed in a car accident in Puerto Rico, on their way to the airport. They moved back after I graduated from college. I moved to New York with Eduardo in 1999. The following year, they moved back home. The trip to New York was their wedding gift to me. I wanted to see them. I wanted them to meet my husband, and by then I knew he didn't have much time. It was just after Mia was born.”
“ I'm sorry,” Colin said softly.
“ Me, too,” Rosario said. “But I'm not sorry they went together. They would have wanted it that way,” she said, with a weak smile. “They really loved each other.”
“ My parents went together,” Colin whispered.
“ I'm sorry,” Rosario said.
“ What?” he said, unaware he'd spoken the words out loud.
“ About your parents.”
“ Oh, I didn't realize I'd said that out loud.”
“ I'm glad you did. What happened?” she asked.
“ It
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