only signed up for the secretarial course because the college was ten minutes away and she knew she wouldn’t muck it up. She assumed that at some point soon she would probably end up being a secretary. But through fatalism rather than design.
She began to take off her clothes, feeling the sweet release of her breasts from the ill-fitting bra she’d been wearing since Friday morning. She looked at her body in the foxed mirror inside her wardrobe. She saw the loveliness of it and blanched slightly, thinking of the things she hadn’t told Meg in the barthat night. The looks from her brother. The sense of someone outside the bathroom door.
She’d watched Rory become interested in women, but with him it had been like the unfurling of a bud: something natural, inevitable, almost adorable, something separate, entirely unconnected to her. But with Rhys it was like a dark shadow spilling over everything he touched. Including her.
She wrapped her body in a towel, tucked her hair inside a shower cap and made towards the bathroom. A strange sound made her stop outside the door of her parents’ bedroom.
‘Mum?’
She clutched her towel closer to her chest and gently pushed at the door. Rhys was lying in his parents’ bed, the satin eiderdown pulled up to his armpits, naked as far as Beth could tell, staring straight at her.
‘Jesus,’ he said, surprised to see her, ‘when did you get home?’
She held the door half against herself, shielding her body from his strange, angry gaze.
‘About ten minutes ago,’ she said. ‘What are you doing, Rhys?’
He shrugged. ‘Sleeping.’
‘But why are you sleeping in Mum and Dad’s bed?’
‘Electric blanket.’
She nodded, once, but then grimaced at him. ‘It’s sixteen degrees out there. What do you need an electric blanket for?’
He shrugged. ‘I like it.’
She nodded again. ‘Why are you naked?’
‘I’m not,’ he said, flipping back the eiderdown to reveal hispale body, in underpants that were too large for him.
She turned away and grimaced. ‘Fine,’ she said. ‘I’m going to have a shower.’
‘How was London?’ he asked before she could go.
‘It was good.’
He nodded. She moved her gaze away from his body again and said, ‘Anyway.’
‘How was Meg?’
‘Fine,’ she said, ‘she’s fine.’ She wanted to go now. She did not want to have a conversation with her brother lying there in his parents’ bed in his underpants. She locked the bathroom door behind her and leaned against it for a moment, listening to his footsteps passing down the corridor towards the bathroom. They slowed down outside the door and she heard his breath. And then she heard him turn and leave, and the gentle click of his bedroom door closing behind him.
Meg did come home for Easter. She slept on a mattress on Beth’s floor because her own bedroom, since her last visit, had been rendered virtually uninhabitable by yet more towers of paperbacks and boxes of household goods bought in bulk from a cash and carry that Lorelei had recently signed up to.
‘It’s not that bad,’ said Lorelei, peering around the door over Meg’s shoulder. ‘Plenty of room for you.’
‘Not that bad?’ repeated Meg. ‘Jesus. Mother. Why are you stockpiling –’ she brought her gaze down to the box nearest her feet – ‘insect repellent?’
Her mother rolled her eyes. ‘We live in the countryside,’ shesaid pointedly, as though Megan were no longer a member of this exclusive country-dwelling club. ‘We get a lot of insects.’
‘I mean, this is a fire hazard, isn’t it? Can you imagine that lot going up? It would blow the roof off the house. Jesus!’
‘It’s economics, darling,’ her mother replied, all sing-song disingenuousness. ‘Saving the family
money
.’
‘Well, yes, but the family won’t actually
need
any money if we all burn to death in a massive fireball.’
‘I get through a lot of it!’ her mother snapped. ‘And there won’t be any
She began to take off her clothes, feeling the sweet release of her breasts from the ill-fitting bra she’d been wearing since Friday morning. She looked at her body in the foxed mirror inside her wardrobe. She saw the loveliness of it and blanched slightly, thinking of the things she hadn’t told Meg in the barthat night. The looks from her brother. The sense of someone outside the bathroom door.
She’d watched Rory become interested in women, but with him it had been like the unfurling of a bud: something natural, inevitable, almost adorable, something separate, entirely unconnected to her. But with Rhys it was like a dark shadow spilling over everything he touched. Including her.
She wrapped her body in a towel, tucked her hair inside a shower cap and made towards the bathroom. A strange sound made her stop outside the door of her parents’ bedroom.
‘Mum?’
She clutched her towel closer to her chest and gently pushed at the door. Rhys was lying in his parents’ bed, the satin eiderdown pulled up to his armpits, naked as far as Beth could tell, staring straight at her.
‘Jesus,’ he said, surprised to see her, ‘when did you get home?’
She held the door half against herself, shielding her body from his strange, angry gaze.
‘About ten minutes ago,’ she said. ‘What are you doing, Rhys?’
He shrugged. ‘Sleeping.’
‘But why are you sleeping in Mum and Dad’s bed?’
‘Electric blanket.’
She nodded, once, but then grimaced at him. ‘It’s sixteen degrees out there. What do you need an electric blanket for?’
He shrugged. ‘I like it.’
She nodded again. ‘Why are you naked?’
‘I’m not,’ he said, flipping back the eiderdown to reveal hispale body, in underpants that were too large for him.
She turned away and grimaced. ‘Fine,’ she said. ‘I’m going to have a shower.’
‘How was London?’ he asked before she could go.
‘It was good.’
He nodded. She moved her gaze away from his body again and said, ‘Anyway.’
‘How was Meg?’
‘Fine,’ she said, ‘she’s fine.’ She wanted to go now. She did not want to have a conversation with her brother lying there in his parents’ bed in his underpants. She locked the bathroom door behind her and leaned against it for a moment, listening to his footsteps passing down the corridor towards the bathroom. They slowed down outside the door and she heard his breath. And then she heard him turn and leave, and the gentle click of his bedroom door closing behind him.
Meg did come home for Easter. She slept on a mattress on Beth’s floor because her own bedroom, since her last visit, had been rendered virtually uninhabitable by yet more towers of paperbacks and boxes of household goods bought in bulk from a cash and carry that Lorelei had recently signed up to.
‘It’s not that bad,’ said Lorelei, peering around the door over Meg’s shoulder. ‘Plenty of room for you.’
‘Not that bad?’ repeated Meg. ‘Jesus. Mother. Why are you stockpiling –’ she brought her gaze down to the box nearest her feet – ‘insect repellent?’
Her mother rolled her eyes. ‘We live in the countryside,’ shesaid pointedly, as though Megan were no longer a member of this exclusive country-dwelling club. ‘We get a lot of insects.’
‘I mean, this is a fire hazard, isn’t it? Can you imagine that lot going up? It would blow the roof off the house. Jesus!’
‘It’s economics, darling,’ her mother replied, all sing-song disingenuousness. ‘Saving the family
money
.’
‘Well, yes, but the family won’t actually
need
any money if we all burn to death in a massive fireball.’
‘I get through a lot of it!’ her mother snapped. ‘And there won’t be any
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