because the only way she could get to bed was by telling him his apology was accepted. That and the fact,” she mused, “that Father went to school with his father. But it will be dreadful if you don’t accept our apologies—it will be unthinkable. Oh Faith, please, it will all be forgotten in a day if you stay on, but if you leave us, Mama says we will look so ... gauche, ah, no account, do you see?”
“I understand ‘gauche,’ ” Faith said wryly.
“I’ve done it again, haven’t I?” Lady Mary sighed. “It’s only that I’ve tried and am trying to take such special care with you, Faith. I’ve never known any other Americans, except you and Will, and he,” and here she paused and even in the inconstant light, Faith imagined she could see the other girl blush rosily, “is actually English, you know. It’s simpler with French people,” she explained sadly, “because they’re so foreign, and you can always blame everything on their not understanding, but in your case, you do understand, and are so much the same as we are, but very different too.”
“I have the same problem,” Faith replied, and hopping down from the side of the bed again, she came over to Lady Mary and said, with the first real warmth she’d felt for hours, “And I’m not angry at anyone, truly, except myself. And,” she smiled, for the other girl looked so woebegone and defenseless in her white gown with her fair curls worn loose and tumbling down her back that Faith remembered she was three whole years her hostess’s senior, and that eighteen was, or at least seemed to be in the case of English girls, or perhaps only this particular English girl, still very young, “I’ll stay on, of course, and gladly, if you can assure me that you all truly want me to.”
Mary blurted in amazement, “Of course we do, how can you doubt it? But when you went rushing out of the room without a word, we feared we’d mortally insulted you. The War, you know. It never ought to have been mentioned. Is it,” she asked hesitantly, “was it,” she stammered, “oh I don’t know whether you think it proper that I ask, but had you ... lost someone dear to you in the confrontation?”
“Oh. No. It wasn’t pleasant, of course, to know we were at war, and there was a scare when all the militia came to town because we’d heard we were going to be invaded. I was frightened then. But no, we were lucky. Grandfather was likely too old to join, even if he’d wanted to, my father was down in Virginia and only in a civilian patrol, and I’ve no brothers or uncles. No,” Faith repeated, adding, since it seemed her hostess was still uneasy, “and it isn’t rude to ask me that.”
“Oh,” Lady Mary said, and then very quickly, as though she hoped to get the words out before she thought better of them, she said, “It’s only that, you see, I’d thought perhaps that’s why you’d never married, and that, you see, what Lord Greyville said upset you so much because it brought all of it, and ... him, whoever he was, back to you,” and having said this in a rush, she hung her head.
“Oh,” Faith said softly, “that’s lovely. But I’m afraid you’ve read too many novels. Or perhaps I haven’t read enough.” She laughed, feeling closer to her hostess for the first time since they’d met, but then, she realized suddenly, they’d never had such an informal chat, nor even had time alone together since that day. “No, there’s no ‘he,’ and likely never will be. You see, I don’t want to marry, that’s why I’m not wed.”
But now the other girl’s eyes opened wide and she stepped back a pace, stumbling against a chair, and by catching onto its side, she unthinkingly backed herself into it. Then she stared up at Faith, and asked, with a certain amount of absolute incredulity coloring the shock in her voice, “Never wed? But Faith, whatever else will you do? I don’t know about America, but here, if you don’t marry, you dwindle
“I understand ‘gauche,’ ” Faith said wryly.
“I’ve done it again, haven’t I?” Lady Mary sighed. “It’s only that I’ve tried and am trying to take such special care with you, Faith. I’ve never known any other Americans, except you and Will, and he,” and here she paused and even in the inconstant light, Faith imagined she could see the other girl blush rosily, “is actually English, you know. It’s simpler with French people,” she explained sadly, “because they’re so foreign, and you can always blame everything on their not understanding, but in your case, you do understand, and are so much the same as we are, but very different too.”
“I have the same problem,” Faith replied, and hopping down from the side of the bed again, she came over to Lady Mary and said, with the first real warmth she’d felt for hours, “And I’m not angry at anyone, truly, except myself. And,” she smiled, for the other girl looked so woebegone and defenseless in her white gown with her fair curls worn loose and tumbling down her back that Faith remembered she was three whole years her hostess’s senior, and that eighteen was, or at least seemed to be in the case of English girls, or perhaps only this particular English girl, still very young, “I’ll stay on, of course, and gladly, if you can assure me that you all truly want me to.”
Mary blurted in amazement, “Of course we do, how can you doubt it? But when you went rushing out of the room without a word, we feared we’d mortally insulted you. The War, you know. It never ought to have been mentioned. Is it,” she asked hesitantly, “was it,” she stammered, “oh I don’t know whether you think it proper that I ask, but had you ... lost someone dear to you in the confrontation?”
“Oh. No. It wasn’t pleasant, of course, to know we were at war, and there was a scare when all the militia came to town because we’d heard we were going to be invaded. I was frightened then. But no, we were lucky. Grandfather was likely too old to join, even if he’d wanted to, my father was down in Virginia and only in a civilian patrol, and I’ve no brothers or uncles. No,” Faith repeated, adding, since it seemed her hostess was still uneasy, “and it isn’t rude to ask me that.”
“Oh,” Lady Mary said, and then very quickly, as though she hoped to get the words out before she thought better of them, she said, “It’s only that, you see, I’d thought perhaps that’s why you’d never married, and that, you see, what Lord Greyville said upset you so much because it brought all of it, and ... him, whoever he was, back to you,” and having said this in a rush, she hung her head.
“Oh,” Faith said softly, “that’s lovely. But I’m afraid you’ve read too many novels. Or perhaps I haven’t read enough.” She laughed, feeling closer to her hostess for the first time since they’d met, but then, she realized suddenly, they’d never had such an informal chat, nor even had time alone together since that day. “No, there’s no ‘he,’ and likely never will be. You see, I don’t want to marry, that’s why I’m not wed.”
But now the other girl’s eyes opened wide and she stepped back a pace, stumbling against a chair, and by catching onto its side, she unthinkingly backed herself into it. Then she stared up at Faith, and asked, with a certain amount of absolute incredulity coloring the shock in her voice, “Never wed? But Faith, whatever else will you do? I don’t know about America, but here, if you don’t marry, you dwindle
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