⦠never mind.â I pop the pill on my tongue, drink a gulp of water. âGo on.â
âI need to record this conversation. Is that okay?â
I shrug, despite the fact that he canât see me.
âHello?â
âI suppose so.â
Birck pushes the button on his phone and I hear the quiet but distinctive squeak. The tape is rolling.
âCan you tell me what you did yesterday?â
âI was at home. No, I went to Salem in the afternoon.â
âWhat were you doing in Salem?â
âVisiting my parents. Then I came home.â
âWhat time did you get home?â
âI donât know. Five, maybe six.â
âAnd what did you do at home?â
âNothing.â
âEveryone is always doing something.â
âI wasnât doing anything. Watched telly, ate, had a shower, fell asleep about eleven. Nothing.â
âWhen did you wake up?â
âI canât remember. But it was the blue lights that woke me up.â
âThey woke you up?â
Birck sounds surprised.
âIâm a light sleeper these days,â I mumble.
âI thought you had medicine for all that?â
âDoesnât really help,â is all I manage, distracted, because something in the flat has caught my attention, but I canât work out what.
I go to the bathroom door and push it open slightly. Everything looks untouched. I step in, seeing my confused face in the mirror, my hand holding the phone.
The light. Itâs on. Did I leave it on?
âEh?â I say, fairly sure that Birck said something.
âWhat did you do when you woke up?â he repeats, clearly irritated and impatient.
âGot dressed, and went to see what had happened.â
âWhich means?â
âI went down to ChapmansgÃ¥rden.â
I open the bathroom cabinet with my free hand, and study the contents: toiletries and powerful medicines; a little box containing a ring that I used to wear every day and which at that time was my most prized possession. I close the cabinet.
âAnd?â says Birck. âWhat else?â
I tell him about how I got into ChapmansgÃ¥rden after talking to the two police officers; how I went past Matilda as she sat talking to a third cop. Birck listens, asks follow-up questions, more urgent than before. I realise Iâm close to something important, and stop talking.
âDid you examine the body?â
âNot exactly.â
âThis is a formal interview,â Birck says. âConduct yourself accordingly.â
âI didnât examine it.â
âDid you touch it?â
âNo, I just looked at her.â Thatâs pretty much true. âWhy?â
âHer hand,â Birck goes on, as though he hadnât heard me. âDid you see if she had anything in her hand?â
I hesitate, and sit down on the edge of the bed.
âI donât remember.â
âYouâre lying. Was there anything in her hand?â
âYes.â
âDid you touch it?â
âEh?â
âIâm asking whether you touched what was in her hand.â
âNo.â
âAre you quite sure about that?â
I wonder what heâs thinking.
âYes,â I say. âI am sure. Why?â
âThank you.â He breathes out. âThatâs everything.â
When Birck hangs up, I just sit there with the phone in my hand. My headâs spinning; Iâm trying to untangle everything, without any success. Deductive reasoning has never been my strongest suit; Iâm too slow, not logical enough, too irrational. I scan the flat instead, looking for signs that someone has been here. Iâm certain that there must be some, waiting there right in front of me. I just canât see them. Or else Iâm just paranoid. I look up at the bathroom light again. It might have been on when I went out. I feel the Serax flood out and start buzzing at my temples. Nothing happens, and I
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