The Japanese Girl by Winston Graham

planned.’
    â€˜But for one only. Or did you take your brother?’
    â€˜No.’
    â€˜Or some other man?’
    â€˜No, it was for one only! I swear to you!’
    â€˜And then?’
    â€˜Forgive me, darling Jack,’ she said, beginning to cry. ‘Each year it was the same. Every year when I came home I swore it would be the last time. But every year it was the same. I went across America to Honolulu – two years ago, that was – and then to Tahiti. Then there was Mexico and South America. Chile is so beautiful I longed to stay there.’
    â€˜But you came back.’
    â€˜I came back. I’d promised you.’
    â€˜Because of the risk to your brother?’
    She looked at me in sudden fear. ‘ Because I had promised you ! Don’t be too angry with me, Jack. I’ll – I’ll make it up to you. In time it will all be as you planned.’
    â€˜How much of my money have you got left?’
    â€˜I don’t know. Really I don’t know, darling.’
    â€˜Tell me.’
    â€˜Oh, don’t. Don’t, Jack.’ I had grasped her wrist. ‘I – have other things to tell you yet.’
    â€˜How much did you spend? How much is left?’
    â€˜Your money corrupted me! It made me think differently, act differently! I have never been the same. I should never have promised: I was too young to understand. You put too big a burden –’ Her hand twisted in mine, trying to get free. ‘Last year I had £3,000. I thought –’
    â€˜Three thousand pounds! Great God!’
    â€˜Wait! I have more now, darling. I knew then that somehow I must repay you. Somehow I must do something to help. I thought you might be out this year – I wasn’t sure. Then something you had said to me once – when I asked you how I should explain having this money if ever I was asked – that came back to me. I had one last holiday. I had always wanted to see Egypt and South Africa … After it I bought this flat, furnished it, set myself up. It was the only way. I have already made money …’
    My mind was groping in the dark bog that her words had created. Before I could speak she went on: ‘I can make money again, Jack. This is very profitable. You cannot live here but we can often meet. You can come here as we arrange. And you can travel on my money – as I travelled on yours. When I can get away, if I can get away, we can still go together. Please, please try to understand what you did to me leaving me with all this money. I was only a child …’
    I released her hand and got up. Doors were opening and shutting in my brain like cell doors clanging in prison. I saw lights where there were no lights, blundered over a chair, began to dress.
    She slipped out beside me, put on a kimono, stood near to me, still gently talking, soft labial sounds, distressed, fearful, explaining, excusing, persuading. This must have been a terrible moment for her; yet she had faced it out of fear for her brother. She was very beautiful. I could see what a success she would be in her trade.
    I thought of all I had done, of all I had suffered, of all I had planned, of the supreme success of the whole plan – utterly, uterly in vain because of her. I went insane with grief and rage. She had put on the bedside light and saw my face, and then she tried to turn and run.
    I caught her at the door. Still pleading, still beautiful, she fought off my hands until they gripped her throat. Then she kicked and scratched while her heart still beat.
    After a long while I was lying on the bed alone, and the insanity had passed, and she was on the floor. I got up slowly and went into the bathroom and sluiced my face and hands. Then I went back and looked at her and tried not to retch. My knees were like water, my hands trembling without control. I finished dressing and began to search her flat. The telephone went once but I ignored it. I found two