m’lord.’
‘
This
house?’
‘Yes, m’lord.’
‘Rowcester Abbey, you mean?’
‘Yes, m’lord.’
‘You’re pulling my leg, Jeeves.’
‘I would not take such a liberty, m’lord.’
‘You seriously mean that this refugee from whatever American loony-bin it was where she was under observation until she sneaked out with false whiskers on is actually contemplating paying hard cash for Rowcester Abbey?’
‘That was the interpretation which I placed on the remarks of her ladyship and Sir Roderick, m’lord.’
Bill drew a deep breath.
‘Well, I’ll be blowed. It just shows you that it takes all sorts to make a world. Is she coming to stay?’
‘So I understood, m’lord.’
‘Then you might remove the two buckets you put to catch the water under the upper hall skylight. They create a bad impression.’
‘Yes, m’lord. I will also place some more drawing pins in the wallpaper. Where would your lordship be thinking of depositing Mrs Spottsworth?’
‘She’d better have the Queen Elizabeth room. It’s the best we’ve got.’
‘Yes, m’lord. I will insert a wire screen in the flue to discourage intrusion by the bats that nest there.’
‘We can’t give her a bathroom, I’m afraid.’
‘I fear not, m’lord.’
‘Still, if she can make do with a shower, she can stand under the upper hall skylight.’
Jeeves pursed his lips.
‘If I might offer the suggestion, m’lord, it is not judicious to speak in that strain. Your lordship might forget yourself and let fall some such observation in the hearing of Mrs Spottsworth.’
Jill, standing at the french window and looking out with burning eyes, had turned and was listening, electrified. The generous wrath which had caused her to allude to her betrothed as a pig in human shape had vanished completely. It could not compete with this stupendous news. As far as Jill was concerned, the war was over.
She thoroughly concurred with Jeeves’s rebuke.
‘Yes, you poor fish,’ she said. ‘You mustn’t even think like that. Oh, Bill, isn’t it wonderful! If this comes off, you’ll have money enough to buy a farm. I’m sure we’d do well running a farm, me as a vet and you with all your expert farming knowledge.’
‘My what?’
Jeeves coughed.
‘I think Miss Wyvern is alluding to the fact that you have had such wide experience working for the Agricultural Board, m’lord.’
‘Oh, ah, yes. I see what you mean. Of course, yes, the Agricultural Board. Thank you, Jeeves.’
‘Not at all, m’lord.’
Jill developed her theme.
‘If you could sting this Mrs Spottsworth for something really big, we could start a prize herd. That pays like anything. I wonder how much you could get for the place.’
‘Not much, I’m afraid. It’s seen better days.’
‘What are you going to ask?’
‘Three thousand and five pounds two shillings and sixpence.’
‘What!’
Bill blinked.
‘Sorry. I was thinking of something else.’
‘But what put an odd sum like that into your head?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘You must know.’
‘I don’t.’
‘But you must have had some
reason
.’
‘The sum in question arose in the course of his lordship’s work in connection with his Agricultural Board duties this afternoon, miss,’ said Jeeves smoothly. ‘Your lordship may recall that I observed at the time that it was a peculiar figure.’
‘So you did, Jeeves, so you did.’
‘That was why your lordship said “Three thousand and five pounds two shillings and sixpence”.’
‘Yes, that was why I said “Three thousand and five pounds two shillings and sixpence”.’
‘These momentary mental aberrations are not uncommon, I believe. If I might suggest it, m’lord, I think it would be advisable to proceed to the yew alley without further delay. Time is of the essence.’
‘Of course, yes. They’re waiting for me, aren’t they? Are you coming, Jill?’
‘I can’t, darling. I have patients to attend to. I’ve got to go all
‘
This
house?’
‘Yes, m’lord.’
‘Rowcester Abbey, you mean?’
‘Yes, m’lord.’
‘You’re pulling my leg, Jeeves.’
‘I would not take such a liberty, m’lord.’
‘You seriously mean that this refugee from whatever American loony-bin it was where she was under observation until she sneaked out with false whiskers on is actually contemplating paying hard cash for Rowcester Abbey?’
‘That was the interpretation which I placed on the remarks of her ladyship and Sir Roderick, m’lord.’
Bill drew a deep breath.
‘Well, I’ll be blowed. It just shows you that it takes all sorts to make a world. Is she coming to stay?’
‘So I understood, m’lord.’
‘Then you might remove the two buckets you put to catch the water under the upper hall skylight. They create a bad impression.’
‘Yes, m’lord. I will also place some more drawing pins in the wallpaper. Where would your lordship be thinking of depositing Mrs Spottsworth?’
‘She’d better have the Queen Elizabeth room. It’s the best we’ve got.’
‘Yes, m’lord. I will insert a wire screen in the flue to discourage intrusion by the bats that nest there.’
‘We can’t give her a bathroom, I’m afraid.’
‘I fear not, m’lord.’
‘Still, if she can make do with a shower, she can stand under the upper hall skylight.’
Jeeves pursed his lips.
‘If I might offer the suggestion, m’lord, it is not judicious to speak in that strain. Your lordship might forget yourself and let fall some such observation in the hearing of Mrs Spottsworth.’
Jill, standing at the french window and looking out with burning eyes, had turned and was listening, electrified. The generous wrath which had caused her to allude to her betrothed as a pig in human shape had vanished completely. It could not compete with this stupendous news. As far as Jill was concerned, the war was over.
She thoroughly concurred with Jeeves’s rebuke.
‘Yes, you poor fish,’ she said. ‘You mustn’t even think like that. Oh, Bill, isn’t it wonderful! If this comes off, you’ll have money enough to buy a farm. I’m sure we’d do well running a farm, me as a vet and you with all your expert farming knowledge.’
‘My what?’
Jeeves coughed.
‘I think Miss Wyvern is alluding to the fact that you have had such wide experience working for the Agricultural Board, m’lord.’
‘Oh, ah, yes. I see what you mean. Of course, yes, the Agricultural Board. Thank you, Jeeves.’
‘Not at all, m’lord.’
Jill developed her theme.
‘If you could sting this Mrs Spottsworth for something really big, we could start a prize herd. That pays like anything. I wonder how much you could get for the place.’
‘Not much, I’m afraid. It’s seen better days.’
‘What are you going to ask?’
‘Three thousand and five pounds two shillings and sixpence.’
‘What!’
Bill blinked.
‘Sorry. I was thinking of something else.’
‘But what put an odd sum like that into your head?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘You must know.’
‘I don’t.’
‘But you must have had some
reason
.’
‘The sum in question arose in the course of his lordship’s work in connection with his Agricultural Board duties this afternoon, miss,’ said Jeeves smoothly. ‘Your lordship may recall that I observed at the time that it was a peculiar figure.’
‘So you did, Jeeves, so you did.’
‘That was why your lordship said “Three thousand and five pounds two shillings and sixpence”.’
‘Yes, that was why I said “Three thousand and five pounds two shillings and sixpence”.’
‘These momentary mental aberrations are not uncommon, I believe. If I might suggest it, m’lord, I think it would be advisable to proceed to the yew alley without further delay. Time is of the essence.’
‘Of course, yes. They’re waiting for me, aren’t they? Are you coming, Jill?’
‘I can’t, darling. I have patients to attend to. I’ve got to go all
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