The Journal (Her Master's Voice) by Liv Honeywell, Domitri Xavier Page A

think I get my kicks from seeing you upset like this?”
    She shook her head, unable to speak for a moment.
    “Of course I don’t. I’m not that man. It pained me to have to leave yesterday. I knew how much you would be suffering. I really didn’t want to leave you alone. I love you and I want to be with you.”
    She managed a watery smile.
    “I love you too, Master. I love you so much.”
    He stroked her face gently. “I know you do.”
    She looked down for a moment. “I couldn’t bear it when you left. Why… Erm… Would it not have been possible to punish me then, Sir?”
    “I did cane you, but I’d at least calmed down enough to do that by then. You know I’d never punish you in anger. I never would. And I didn’t. When I came back this morning I was half minded to leave it, but you said you didn’t think you’d been punished enough, and I knew if I left it there you would carry on beating yourself up.”
    He raised her chin and smiled into her eyes.
    “Wouldn’t you? I know you too well.”
    She gave him a small smile in return.
    “I… yes, Sir. I would have.” She looked down again. “You… you sounded so angry today and I was so scared.”
    “I wanted you to be. I knew that this wasn’t just an ordinary, minor transgression that we could deal with quickly and move on. This was a betrayal of trust; twice. And if you hadn’t admitted to it, we would have been over and that was something I very much didn’t want to happen.”
    She closed her eyes, a cold shiver crossing her body as she imagined the depth of loss she would have experienced if that had happened. She tried to choke back another hiccupping sob but the thought of losing him made it impossible and she buried her face against his chest.
    “Oh, Sir, I couldn’t bear it if I lost you.”
    He cradled her close, rocking her in his arms and tenderly stroking her hair.
    “Hey. I’m here. You’re not going to lose me. We’re okay. We’re going to be fine.”
    After a few minutes the sobs lessened and the tension eased in her back.
    He held her slightly away from him and took hold of her chin, dabbing away her tears with his handkerchief.
    “Now, no more of those. We’re home and we’re together, and that’s all that matters. You learn well and I am so very proud of you. I want you to know I didn’t leave you alone lightly last night. I simply couldn’t understand why you’d read my journal. I needed some time alone, not only to punish you but also to try to figure it out for myself. My reaction was shocking to me. I needed time to think it through. I hope you understand that. I hope you didn’t think I was being merely sadistic.”
    “No, Sir. Thank you for that.”
    A pause. The mood had become more than a little sombre again. She broke it...
    “But we do like a little bit of sadism, don’t we?” She half smiled, looking up at him playfully; wanting to put everything behind them.
    “Hell, yeah!” he said and he pinched her ear between his fingers, enough to make her say ‘ow’ but gently enough for her to know that he was being playful too.
    “Time for bed,” he said. He took her hands and lifted her up from the sofa.
    “Good. I’m really tired.”
    “That’s a pity. I’m not.”
    He pulled her to him and dropped a gentle kiss on her lips. The kiss deepened, passion flaring. They held each other close, both thinking of all they could have lost and of how much they wanted to hold on to each other; to everything they had together. She wrapped her arms around his neck, conscious of his erection pressing against her hip.
    He ended the kiss and smiled at her, stroking her hair and then her face. He trailed one finger lightly down between her breasts and she shivered with pleasure.
    “I’m going to keep you alert for a little while,” he said. One hand teased her nipples to peaks, while the other wound itself into her hair, pulling her head back gently for another deep kiss. She moaned against his lips, already