The Last Horror Novel in the History of the World by Brian Allen Carr
Authors: Brian Allen Carr
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Mindy when the black hands head back toward the tree house.
“I’ve got three shells,” says Tyler. “Anyone want me to shoot ’em?” They look at him nervously. “In the head,” Tyler clarifies. “You won’t feel anything.” Tyler looks out the window. “It’s either that or them,” he says. “I’ll probably do myself, once they get closer.”
Rob says, “Yeah, do me.” He steps forward, and Tyler puts the barrel of the 12 gauge against it.
“You sure?” Tyler asks.
And then they hear the bell ringing.
We hear four low drones, and the hands seem called to attention, seem beckoned elsewhere, and they go.
Reluctantly, it seems, based on the speed of their movements, they drag along on the tips of their fingers toward the ringing, away from Scrape.
“What is it?” asks Blue.
“Couldn’t tell you,” says Manny.
Silence for a moment, but then the bell chimes again.
A pleasant sound.
Sort of peaceful.
“Is it all over?” asks Mindy, and then we hear the whip.
Out the window of the tree house, we see, walking toward us, a bull whip in his hand, horns on his head, his face masked by a flour tortilla, dressed in black, some wicked, aged creature who calls out, “Have these children been good?”
Tyler looks at Manny, “What is it?” he asks.
“El Abuelo,” Manny answers, “The Grandfather.”
“What does he do?” says Blue.
“Asks us questions,” Manny answers.
Tyler motions with the shotgun, “Well,” he says, “let’s go answer him.”
Tyler, Manny, Mindy, Rob, Blue, Tessa and Tim climb down from the tree house, stand shoulder to shoulder, three on each side of Tyler who aims the gun at El Abuelo.
“Well?” El Abuelo says, “have these children been good?” His voice is old and gravelly.
Tyler says, “What the fuck you talking about?” and El Abuelo’s tortilla face shows anger.
“Curses?” he asks, and he cracks his whip and Tyler’s cheek splits open, bloody, and Tyler fires two shells at El Abuelo, but the birdshot only sinks into his black-leather shirt, does not faze him. El Abuelo cracks his whip again, and it wraps around the barrel of the shotgun, and he pulls back, and the gun flies to rest at El Abuelo’s feet.
The seven are terrified.
“You,” says El Abuelo, pointing at Blue, “Recite the catechism.”
“What?” says Blue, and El Abuelo cracks his whip again at Blue, and Blue’s body bursts into a puff of smoke that floats away on the breeze.
“You?” El Abuelo says, pointing to Tessa who only hides her face with her hand, and she is also whipped into smoke. Tim, the same. Rob, the same. Tyler says, “Fuck you.” Mindy says, “I’ll suck your dick.” And they are all smoke. All but Manny. “You, my child?” El Abuelo says, “Recite.”
Manny says, “Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended thee and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell, but most of all because they offend thee, my God, who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of thy grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life.”
El Abuelo puts his whip away. He takes Manny by the hand. The two leave Scrape forever.
A white owl circles above Scrape.
It is the only living thing in sight.
It turns left endlessly, gliding a certain course above the damage below.
Scattered glass and lumps of deadness.
Cracked cement and busted cars.
Below, Teddy’s blood glistens on his skeleton.
The owl’s path aims for that spot, landing on Teddy’s busted open chest, where it begins to pick at the meat the hands left behind.
The door to Teddy and
“I’ve got three shells,” says Tyler. “Anyone want me to shoot ’em?” They look at him nervously. “In the head,” Tyler clarifies. “You won’t feel anything.” Tyler looks out the window. “It’s either that or them,” he says. “I’ll probably do myself, once they get closer.”
Rob says, “Yeah, do me.” He steps forward, and Tyler puts the barrel of the 12 gauge against it.
“You sure?” Tyler asks.
And then they hear the bell ringing.
We hear four low drones, and the hands seem called to attention, seem beckoned elsewhere, and they go.
Reluctantly, it seems, based on the speed of their movements, they drag along on the tips of their fingers toward the ringing, away from Scrape.
“What is it?” asks Blue.
“Couldn’t tell you,” says Manny.
Silence for a moment, but then the bell chimes again.
A pleasant sound.
Sort of peaceful.
“Is it all over?” asks Mindy, and then we hear the whip.
Out the window of the tree house, we see, walking toward us, a bull whip in his hand, horns on his head, his face masked by a flour tortilla, dressed in black, some wicked, aged creature who calls out, “Have these children been good?”
Tyler looks at Manny, “What is it?” he asks.
“El Abuelo,” Manny answers, “The Grandfather.”
“What does he do?” says Blue.
“Asks us questions,” Manny answers.
Tyler motions with the shotgun, “Well,” he says, “let’s go answer him.”
Tyler, Manny, Mindy, Rob, Blue, Tessa and Tim climb down from the tree house, stand shoulder to shoulder, three on each side of Tyler who aims the gun at El Abuelo.
“Well?” El Abuelo says, “have these children been good?” His voice is old and gravelly.
Tyler says, “What the fuck you talking about?” and El Abuelo’s tortilla face shows anger.
“Curses?” he asks, and he cracks his whip and Tyler’s cheek splits open, bloody, and Tyler fires two shells at El Abuelo, but the birdshot only sinks into his black-leather shirt, does not faze him. El Abuelo cracks his whip again, and it wraps around the barrel of the shotgun, and he pulls back, and the gun flies to rest at El Abuelo’s feet.
The seven are terrified.
“You,” says El Abuelo, pointing at Blue, “Recite the catechism.”
“What?” says Blue, and El Abuelo cracks his whip again at Blue, and Blue’s body bursts into a puff of smoke that floats away on the breeze.
“You?” El Abuelo says, pointing to Tessa who only hides her face with her hand, and she is also whipped into smoke. Tim, the same. Rob, the same. Tyler says, “Fuck you.” Mindy says, “I’ll suck your dick.” And they are all smoke. All but Manny. “You, my child?” El Abuelo says, “Recite.”
Manny says, “Oh my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended thee and I detest all my sins, because I dread the loss of heaven and the pains of hell, but most of all because they offend thee, my God, who are all good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of thy grace, to confess my sins, to do penance, and to amend my life.”
El Abuelo puts his whip away. He takes Manny by the hand. The two leave Scrape forever.
A white owl circles above Scrape.
It is the only living thing in sight.
It turns left endlessly, gliding a certain course above the damage below.
Scattered glass and lumps of deadness.
Cracked cement and busted cars.
Below, Teddy’s blood glistens on his skeleton.
The owl’s path aims for that spot, landing on Teddy’s busted open chest, where it begins to pick at the meat the hands left behind.
The door to Teddy and
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