The Mail Order Midwife's Secret (Wanted: Wives In The West 2) by Trinity Ford Page B

you, but I’m fine.” It was a lie. The forced attempt at a kiss had reminded her of Henry after a night of drinking. But she wasn’t shaken by that. She’d lived through thousands of those moments. What caught her by surprise was her reaction to John coming to her rescue.
    All she’d wanted to do was run to him when it happened, bury her face in his chest and feel safe with his arms wrapped around her. But she couldn’t. John walked up to her after Doc left and, while facing her, put his hands on her shoulders and bent his head down to get her attention. She didn’t realize she’d been lost in thought, looking down, so she lifted her gaze to meet his.
    “Are you really okay?” John asked.
    The feelings were becoming more and more unbridled. The struggle to keep everything in seemed so exhausting. Her eyes welled up with tears and she nodded her head as if everything were all right. John pulled her in close and hugged her. He was a head taller than her, so her cheek nestled into his chest and her arms held onto his back tightly. Big tears fell to the ground as years of sadness and neglect washed away in his arms. They stood there silently for what she wished was a lifetime. I have to end this. It’s not fair to him , she thought.
    “Millie?” he said quietly as he pulled away from her so that he could look her in the eyes. “Marry me. Don’t work anymore. We can settle down and raise a family—you won’t have to be around this kind of stuff anymore. I love you. I’ll take care of you.”
    Millie stepped backward, shaking her head. “I can’t,” she whispered through tears.
    “Millie,” he said. “I know you have feelings for me, too—I can tell. Tell me what’s wrong and I can fix it.”
    She should have gone home when Doc asked her. She knew staying alone with John would leave her open to this discussion. Maybe part of her was ready for it—tired of being chained to a man who’d robbed her of her dreams and trust. “John,” she said. “This isn’t anything you can fix . It’s me. I have to handle it. I wish I could tell you, but I can’t. I…I need to go home now.” Millie grabbed her medical kit and waited by the door. John would have to escort her home since it was too dangerous for her to go alone.
    He stood still, looking as if he were trying to process everything—trying to figure out what he could do to get her to confide in him. Then he slowly walked toward the door, stopping in front of her. “I won’t pressure you,” he said. “When you’re ready, I’m here—and my love for you won’t be going anywhere, either.” He turned and walked out the door to take Millie back to the Springers’ house.
    On the way home, both John and Millie were silent. The only sounds were the hoofbeats of the horses, the roar of the cicadas, and the rumble of thunder off in the distance. Millie looked at John’s profile in the moonlight. Here was a man who was opposite of Henry in every way. He had the respect of the entire town. He was stable, steered clear of liquor and other vices, and went to church regularly. Most important, he showed love and respect toward her instead of resentment and hostility.
    Before they arrived home, Millie had made a decision. With the help of God, she would begin the process of getting free of Henry so she could make a decision about a future with John. But what would John think when he found out? Would he be angry? What about her inability to have a baby? Would that change his mind? Everything was so up in the air that it made her sick to think about. But at the same time, looking at the man sitting beside her in the carriage, she couldn’t help but envision a future as Mrs. John Lockhart.
    Pulling up to the house, John walked around to help Millie down. “John? She said, looking up into his eyes. “Don’t give up on me.”
    “ Never ,” he answered, lifting her hand up to kiss the back of it gently before heading back into town.

 
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