broken.”
“They’re not broken, Paul. But remember how things used to be? Remember how much fun we had? We did so much fun stuff together. Remember that time we sneaked into that outdoor mini golf place and played a round at midnight? Or that time we were both wide awake at two a.m. so we went to the grocery store and bought ice cream and made sundaes and then had sexy ice cream sundae topping sex? We ate dinner together every night. We were so nice to each other.”
He nodded. “You were lots nicer to me.”
“At least I admit it. Isn’t that the first step toward recovery?”
“Yep. You’re on the road to recovery. Bitchy Wives Anonymous will be glad to have you.”
She slapped his arm and returned his smile.
“Seriously, though,” she said. “I want you to know that I want to make this right. I want to get back to how we used to be.”
“To tell you the truth,” Paul said, “I didn’t realize anything was wrong. I mean, I’m definitely tired of you bitching at me all the time. But I guess I thought that’s how wives are supposed to act. All the guys say the same thing. I’m kind of offended that you’re sitting me down for this big talk about a problem I didn’t even realize we have. You’re blindsiding me, here.”
Josie was the one who felt blindsided. She felt her face fall and her appetite disappear. Unsure of what to do or how to proceed, she stood up and cleared her plate. Paul’s phone chirped. A text. Probably a drug deal needed tending.
With more force than necessary, Josie put her plate in the sink and stalked into the bedroom.
***
Alone again, Josie shot Summer and Delaney a text: This Marriage Intervention thing isn’t going to work.
Summer: What? Why not?
Delaney: Sheesh. Way to be a pessimist . We’re just getting started, here. Give it a chance.
Josie flopped down on her stomach on the bed, and growled into a pillow before responding.
Josie: Paul doesn’t even realize we have a problem.
Summer: Of course he doesn’t. He probably just thinks you’re being bitchy.
Why did everyone feel like they could say that so freely? Was it common knowledge that she was bitchy? Maybe she really should join Bitchy Wives Anonymous.
Delaney: Did you tell him there’s a problem? Wait. Who am I kidding? Of course you did. I don’t think you were supposed to reveal that to him just yet.
Summer: She’s right, Josie. You weren’t. He probably thought you were blaming him.
Josie: What the hell was I supposed to do? I was just telling him I wanted things back to the way they used to be.
Delaney: You should have started with the sex. Always have important conversations right after sex. You know this, Josie. We should have covered this at our initial meeting.
“Are you kidding me?” Josie said to the empty bedroom. “I can barely get the man to sit down to dinner with me. Much less get naked with me.”
Josie: That would have been really awesome .
Summer: So what did he say?
Josie: He was offended I was sitting him down to talk about a problem he didn’t even know we had. He felt blindsided.
Summer: Oh for goodness’ sake. He had to have known something was off. Men! Seriously.
Josie: He probably does. Just doesn’t want to talk about it.
Delaney: Hang in there. He’ll come around.
Josie: I hate The Marriage Intervention. I quit.
Summer: Go initiate some hot Latin sex .
Josie didn’t respond. Instead, she rolled over and tried to find shapes in the texture on the ceiling. Her phone chirped.
Summer: Stop procrastinating. Do it. Haha. Dooo it.
Again, Josie growled. But she knew they were right. She dragged herself to a standing position and walked to the bedroom door. She took a deep breath and opened it.
But when she got into the kitchen, Paul was gone. A note sat on the counter, in the spot where his plate had been. His messy, all-caps handwriting read: GOT CALLED IN. DON’T WAIT UP.
“Thanks, Paul.
“They’re not broken, Paul. But remember how things used to be? Remember how much fun we had? We did so much fun stuff together. Remember that time we sneaked into that outdoor mini golf place and played a round at midnight? Or that time we were both wide awake at two a.m. so we went to the grocery store and bought ice cream and made sundaes and then had sexy ice cream sundae topping sex? We ate dinner together every night. We were so nice to each other.”
He nodded. “You were lots nicer to me.”
“At least I admit it. Isn’t that the first step toward recovery?”
“Yep. You’re on the road to recovery. Bitchy Wives Anonymous will be glad to have you.”
She slapped his arm and returned his smile.
“Seriously, though,” she said. “I want you to know that I want to make this right. I want to get back to how we used to be.”
“To tell you the truth,” Paul said, “I didn’t realize anything was wrong. I mean, I’m definitely tired of you bitching at me all the time. But I guess I thought that’s how wives are supposed to act. All the guys say the same thing. I’m kind of offended that you’re sitting me down for this big talk about a problem I didn’t even realize we have. You’re blindsiding me, here.”
Josie was the one who felt blindsided. She felt her face fall and her appetite disappear. Unsure of what to do or how to proceed, she stood up and cleared her plate. Paul’s phone chirped. A text. Probably a drug deal needed tending.
With more force than necessary, Josie put her plate in the sink and stalked into the bedroom.
***
Alone again, Josie shot Summer and Delaney a text: This Marriage Intervention thing isn’t going to work.
Summer: What? Why not?
Delaney: Sheesh. Way to be a pessimist . We’re just getting started, here. Give it a chance.
Josie flopped down on her stomach on the bed, and growled into a pillow before responding.
Josie: Paul doesn’t even realize we have a problem.
Summer: Of course he doesn’t. He probably just thinks you’re being bitchy.
Why did everyone feel like they could say that so freely? Was it common knowledge that she was bitchy? Maybe she really should join Bitchy Wives Anonymous.
Delaney: Did you tell him there’s a problem? Wait. Who am I kidding? Of course you did. I don’t think you were supposed to reveal that to him just yet.
Summer: She’s right, Josie. You weren’t. He probably thought you were blaming him.
Josie: What the hell was I supposed to do? I was just telling him I wanted things back to the way they used to be.
Delaney: You should have started with the sex. Always have important conversations right after sex. You know this, Josie. We should have covered this at our initial meeting.
“Are you kidding me?” Josie said to the empty bedroom. “I can barely get the man to sit down to dinner with me. Much less get naked with me.”
Josie: That would have been really awesome .
Summer: So what did he say?
Josie: He was offended I was sitting him down to talk about a problem he didn’t even know we had. He felt blindsided.
Summer: Oh for goodness’ sake. He had to have known something was off. Men! Seriously.
Josie: He probably does. Just doesn’t want to talk about it.
Delaney: Hang in there. He’ll come around.
Josie: I hate The Marriage Intervention. I quit.
Summer: Go initiate some hot Latin sex .
Josie didn’t respond. Instead, she rolled over and tried to find shapes in the texture on the ceiling. Her phone chirped.
Summer: Stop procrastinating. Do it. Haha. Dooo it.
Again, Josie growled. But she knew they were right. She dragged herself to a standing position and walked to the bedroom door. She took a deep breath and opened it.
But when she got into the kitchen, Paul was gone. A note sat on the counter, in the spot where his plate had been. His messy, all-caps handwriting read: GOT CALLED IN. DON’T WAIT UP.
“Thanks, Paul.
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