to knock to enter. She welcomed any visitors. The only danger was of being talked to death.
‘I’m doing Sooty and Sweep,’ she said from behind her puppet theatre. ‘You can do Soo, if you like.’
I blamed Chris for our retro child. And the fact that there were far too many copies of classic seventies children’s shows available on eBay.
‘Actually, love, I wanted to have a chat with you about something.’
‘Yeah?’ she said, still inside the puppet theatre.
I sat down on her bed and patted the duvet next to me. ‘Come and sit here.’
She did as she was asked. Still with Sooty and Sweep on her hands, mind. It was like one of those softly, softly police interviews with children where they get them to talk about difficult things with the aid of puppets.
‘I’m taking Josh to meet someone this afternoon,’ I said, desperately trying to locate a casual, by-the-by tone.
‘Who?’ asked Matilda.
‘Remember that lady who came to the house with Josh’s present?’
Matilda nodded.
‘Her.’
‘Why are you seeing her again? Has she got another present for Josh?’
‘No, love. We’re seeing her because she’s actually an important person in Josh’s life. Someone from a long time ago.’
Matilda stared at me blankly. I was going to have to spell it out.
‘You know that I’m not Josh’s mummy? That he had a different mummy, but he doesn’t remember her because she left when he was a baby?’
She nodded again. I took hold of her hand – or Sweep, to be more precise.
‘Well, that lady who came to the door is his real mummy. Her name is Lydia.’
Matilda stared at me for a moment, a slight frown creasing her forehead. ‘Is she going to be his real mummy again? Is Josh going to go and live with her?’
‘No, love,’ I said, giving her hand a squeeze. ‘She justwants to meet him. And Josh has decided that he’d like to meet her too.’
She remained staring at me. I could almost hear the cogs turning.
‘Why did she go away when he was little?’
‘It’s complicated. I don’t really know for sure. She must have had some kind of problem.’
‘But why couldn’t Daddy help her?’
‘It doesn’t always work like that, love,’ I said, stroking her hair.
‘You don’t know, do you?’
‘No.’ I smiled. ‘That’s why we’re going to meet her. Josh has got lots of questions for her too.’
‘Can I come?’
‘I’m sorry, love. It’s important that Josh gets a chance to talk to her on his own.’
‘But you’re going.’
‘Just to make sure he’s OK.’
‘Is she a stranger danger?’
I sighed and cursed whatever it was they talked about in circle time at school. ‘No, love. I just want to be there for Josh. It’s a big deal for him.’
‘So who’s going to look after me?’
‘Daddy. He’s going to take you to the cinema. What was that film you wanted to see?’
A huge smile spread across her face. ‘
Paranorman
. Really, am I going to see
Paranorman
?’
I nodded.
‘Can I go now?’
‘In half an hour or so,’ I said.
‘Woo hoo!’
She danced around the room with Sooty and Sweep. I waited a moment in case there were any more questions.
‘Can I make a zombie puppet when I get back?’ she asked.
I smiled and nodded. Clearly, there were more pressing things on her mind.
* * *
I was about to leave when I caught sight of myself in the mirror. ‘Mumsy’ was the word which sprang to mind. Well-worn cardigan, tunic (to hide the fact that I had never regained my waist after Matilda), coupled with jeans which were just jeans, not any particular type of jeans. It wouldn’t usually have bothered me but I still had the image of Lydia in my head from our front doorstep. It wasn’t that I wanted to outdo her. She was clearly in an entirely different league to me. It was simply that I wanted to be able to sit at the same table as her without feeling that I was a member of an entirely different species.
I ran back upstairs and riffled through my wardrobe.
‘I’m doing Sooty and Sweep,’ she said from behind her puppet theatre. ‘You can do Soo, if you like.’
I blamed Chris for our retro child. And the fact that there were far too many copies of classic seventies children’s shows available on eBay.
‘Actually, love, I wanted to have a chat with you about something.’
‘Yeah?’ she said, still inside the puppet theatre.
I sat down on her bed and patted the duvet next to me. ‘Come and sit here.’
She did as she was asked. Still with Sooty and Sweep on her hands, mind. It was like one of those softly, softly police interviews with children where they get them to talk about difficult things with the aid of puppets.
‘I’m taking Josh to meet someone this afternoon,’ I said, desperately trying to locate a casual, by-the-by tone.
‘Who?’ asked Matilda.
‘Remember that lady who came to the house with Josh’s present?’
Matilda nodded.
‘Her.’
‘Why are you seeing her again? Has she got another present for Josh?’
‘No, love. We’re seeing her because she’s actually an important person in Josh’s life. Someone from a long time ago.’
Matilda stared at me blankly. I was going to have to spell it out.
‘You know that I’m not Josh’s mummy? That he had a different mummy, but he doesn’t remember her because she left when he was a baby?’
She nodded again. I took hold of her hand – or Sweep, to be more precise.
‘Well, that lady who came to the door is his real mummy. Her name is Lydia.’
Matilda stared at me for a moment, a slight frown creasing her forehead. ‘Is she going to be his real mummy again? Is Josh going to go and live with her?’
‘No, love,’ I said, giving her hand a squeeze. ‘She justwants to meet him. And Josh has decided that he’d like to meet her too.’
She remained staring at me. I could almost hear the cogs turning.
‘Why did she go away when he was little?’
‘It’s complicated. I don’t really know for sure. She must have had some kind of problem.’
‘But why couldn’t Daddy help her?’
‘It doesn’t always work like that, love,’ I said, stroking her hair.
‘You don’t know, do you?’
‘No.’ I smiled. ‘That’s why we’re going to meet her. Josh has got lots of questions for her too.’
‘Can I come?’
‘I’m sorry, love. It’s important that Josh gets a chance to talk to her on his own.’
‘But you’re going.’
‘Just to make sure he’s OK.’
‘Is she a stranger danger?’
I sighed and cursed whatever it was they talked about in circle time at school. ‘No, love. I just want to be there for Josh. It’s a big deal for him.’
‘So who’s going to look after me?’
‘Daddy. He’s going to take you to the cinema. What was that film you wanted to see?’
A huge smile spread across her face. ‘
Paranorman
. Really, am I going to see
Paranorman
?’
I nodded.
‘Can I go now?’
‘In half an hour or so,’ I said.
‘Woo hoo!’
She danced around the room with Sooty and Sweep. I waited a moment in case there were any more questions.
‘Can I make a zombie puppet when I get back?’ she asked.
I smiled and nodded. Clearly, there were more pressing things on her mind.
* * *
I was about to leave when I caught sight of myself in the mirror. ‘Mumsy’ was the word which sprang to mind. Well-worn cardigan, tunic (to hide the fact that I had never regained my waist after Matilda), coupled with jeans which were just jeans, not any particular type of jeans. It wouldn’t usually have bothered me but I still had the image of Lydia in my head from our front doorstep. It wasn’t that I wanted to outdo her. She was clearly in an entirely different league to me. It was simply that I wanted to be able to sit at the same table as her without feeling that I was a member of an entirely different species.
I ran back upstairs and riffled through my wardrobe.
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