back in the armchair with a look of quiet satisfaction on her face. She turned a page in her book and blew a smoke ring into the air.
âWhat are you doing?â Gerald hissed at Ruby, trying to ignore the screeches coming from Octavia.
Ruby had a glint of mischief in her eye. âServes her right for calling me a princess,â she said.
Gerald looked back at his fuming cousin. Sam was doing his best to settle her.
âLook, Iâm not enjoying this any more than you,â Gerald said to Ruby. âBut I canât see any way out. Cleaâs not going to letââ
A soft ding cut him off. They both looked at the wood-panelled wall by the sideboard. There was a small red light next to a discreet silver button set into the mahogany. Gerald gave Ruby a quizzical look. He stretched out a finger and pressed the button. A section of the panelling about waist high slid up to reveal a cosy space behind.
âA dumb waiter!â Ruby said.
Gerald peered into the darkened box about a metre cubed. âWhatâs it for?â
âItâs like an elevator, to bring food up from the kitchen.â Ruby reached inside and took out a folded piece of card that had been propped on the floor.
Thereâs proper food in the kitchen , she read. âMrs Rutherford has come to our rescue.â
Gerald looked back to the card table. Octavia had her back to them, in a deep sulk. Zebedee had made a hat from the game box, and Wendell and Caroline soldiered on with the anagrams.
âOh, thatâs an easy one,â Wendell said. â Astronomer is a moon starer .â
Clea remained in her chair with her head in her book and smoking like a blocked chimney.
Gerald caught Samâs eye and beckoned him over. He slipped across unobserved.
âWant to get some real food?â Gerald said to him.
Sam beamed. âMrs Rutherford food?â
Gerald slid backside first into the dumb waiter, tucking his knees under his chin. Ruby and Sam squeezed in after him. Gerald took an elbow to the eye and a head to the ribs in the crush. âPush a button, will you?â he said. âAny button.â
Ruby was closest to the front and she pressed at the keypad. The door slid back into place, casting them into darkness. The tiny elevator moved down with a lurch.
âWe should have done this hours ago.â Samâs voice came out of the tangle of limbs. âI wonder whatâs to eat?â
The dumb waiter came to a halt. Nothing happened.
âNow what?â Gerald said.
Ruby pushed another button. The door slid up, and they stared out at a riot in progress.
âI donât think this is the kitchen,â Ruby said.
The dumb waiter had stopped in the ballroom.
Gerald had always considered adults incapable of enjoying themselves. Always griping about unmade beds and the washing up. They seemed programmed for misery. Which was why it was taking him so long to process the scene before him.
The ballroom was going off.
It was fancy-dress madness. There were streamers and lights of every colour and hue. A band played in the corner, the brass section struggling to make itself heard above the roar of the well-fuelled crowd. There was braying and screaming, shouts and hilarity. Clea would not approve.
There were pirates dancing with harem girls; an astronaut was jiving on a table with a nun; a bishop was screaming âLouie Louieâ into the microphone on the bandstand. Gangsters, vampires, a bandage-wrapped mummy, kings and queensâall prancing and prowling in a melee of colour and sound.
And in the middle of it all stood a stout penguin, a glass of champagne in one wing and the other whooping tight circles above her head. The man dressed as a French cavalry officer by her side was dancing as close as he could, the golden braid on his jacket catching the light from the giant mirror ball suspended from the ceiling.
âIs that Inspector Parrott over there?â Ruby asked as
Dorothy Francis
Nalo Hopkinson
Adrian Tchaikovsky
Elaine Manders
A. B. Guthrie Jr.
Michael Rizzo
DD Prince
Piers Anthony
Filippo Bologna
Dodie Smith