Hang him, dishonest 87 varlet! We cannot misuse him enough.
We’ll leave a proof, by that which we will do,
Wives may be merry, and yet honest 89 too.
We do not act 90 that often jest and laugh,
’Tis old but true: still swine eat all the draff 91 .
[
Exit
]
[
Enter Mistress Ford with John and Robert
]
MISTRESS FORD Go, sirs, take the basket again on your shoulders.
Your master is hard at 93 door. If he bid you set it down, obey
him. Quickly, dispatch 94 .
[
Exit
]
JOHN Come, come, take it up.
ROBERT Pray heaven it be not full of knight again.
JOHN I hope not, I had as lief 97 bear so much
John and Robert lift the basket
lead.
[
Enter Ford, Page, Shallow, Caius and Evans
]
FORD Ay, but if it prove true, Master Page, have you any 99
way then to unfool me again?— Set down the
basket, villain.
John and Robert set down the basket
Somebody call my wife. Youth in a basket! O, you
panderly rascals, there’s a knot, a gin 103 , a pack, a conspiracy
against me. Now shall the devil be shamed 104 . What, wife, I say!
Come, come forth. Behold what honest clothes you send
forth to bleaching.
PAGE Why, this passes 107 , Master Ford. You are not to go
loose any longer, you must be pinioned 108 .
EVANS Why, this is lunatics, this is mad as a mad dog!
SHALLOW Indeed, Master Ford, this is not well indeed.
FORD So say I too, sir.
[
Enter Mistress Ford
]
Come hither, Mistress Ford — Mistress Ford the honest
woman, the modest wife, the virtuous creature, that hath
the jealous fool to her husband. I suspect without cause,
mistress, do I?
MISTRESS FORD Heaven be my witness you do, if you suspect me
in any dishonesty.
FORD Well said, brazen-face, hold it out 118 ! Come forth,
sirrah!
Pulls clothes out of the basket
PAGE This passes.
MISTRESS FORD Are you not ashamed? Let the clothes alone.
FORD I shall find you anon.
EVANS ’Tis unreasonable. Will you take up your wife’s
clothes? Come away.
FORD Empty the basket, I say!
To John and Robert
PAGE Why, man, why?
FORD Master Page, as I am a man, there was one conveyed
out of my house yesterday in this basket. Why may not he be
there again? In my house I am sure he is. My intelligence is
true, my jealousy is reasonable. Pluck me
To John and Robert
out all the linen.
MISTRESS FORD If you find a man there, he shall die a flea’s 132
death.
John and Robert empty the basket
PAGE Here’s no man.
SHALLOW By my fidelity 135 , this is not well, Master Ford. This
wrongs you.
EVANS Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow the
imaginations of your own heart. This is jealousies.
FORD Well, he’s not here I seek for.
PAGE No, nor nowhere else but in your brain.
FORD Help to search my house this one time. If I find not
what I seek, show no colour for my extremity 142 , let me forever
be your table-sport 143 . Let them say of me, ‘As jealous as Ford,
that searched a hollow walnut for his wife’s leman 144 .’ Satisfy
me once more, once more search
with me.
John and Robert refill the basket and exeunt with it
MISTRESS FORD What, ho, Mistress Page, come you and the old
woman down. My husband will come into the chamber.
FORD Old woman? What old woman’s that?
MISTRESS FORD Why, it is my maid’s aunt of Brentford.
FORD A witch, a quean , an old cozening 151 quean! Have I not
forbid her my house? She comes of 152 errands, does she? We are
simple men, we do not know what’s brought to pass under 153
the profession of fortune-telling. She works by charms, by
spells, by th’figure , and such daubery 155 as this is, beyond our
element 156 . We know nothing. Come down, you
Takes a cudgel
witch, you hag, you! Come down, I say!
MISTRESS FORD Nay, good sweet husband.— Good
We’ll leave a proof, by that which we will do,
Wives may be merry, and yet honest 89 too.
We do not act 90 that often jest and laugh,
’Tis old but true: still swine eat all the draff 91 .
[
Exit
]
[
Enter Mistress Ford with John and Robert
]
MISTRESS FORD Go, sirs, take the basket again on your shoulders.
Your master is hard at 93 door. If he bid you set it down, obey
him. Quickly, dispatch 94 .
[
Exit
]
JOHN Come, come, take it up.
ROBERT Pray heaven it be not full of knight again.
JOHN I hope not, I had as lief 97 bear so much
John and Robert lift the basket
lead.
[
Enter Ford, Page, Shallow, Caius and Evans
]
FORD Ay, but if it prove true, Master Page, have you any 99
way then to unfool me again?— Set down the
basket, villain.
John and Robert set down the basket
Somebody call my wife. Youth in a basket! O, you
panderly rascals, there’s a knot, a gin 103 , a pack, a conspiracy
against me. Now shall the devil be shamed 104 . What, wife, I say!
Come, come forth. Behold what honest clothes you send
forth to bleaching.
PAGE Why, this passes 107 , Master Ford. You are not to go
loose any longer, you must be pinioned 108 .
EVANS Why, this is lunatics, this is mad as a mad dog!
SHALLOW Indeed, Master Ford, this is not well indeed.
FORD So say I too, sir.
[
Enter Mistress Ford
]
Come hither, Mistress Ford — Mistress Ford the honest
woman, the modest wife, the virtuous creature, that hath
the jealous fool to her husband. I suspect without cause,
mistress, do I?
MISTRESS FORD Heaven be my witness you do, if you suspect me
in any dishonesty.
FORD Well said, brazen-face, hold it out 118 ! Come forth,
sirrah!
Pulls clothes out of the basket
PAGE This passes.
MISTRESS FORD Are you not ashamed? Let the clothes alone.
FORD I shall find you anon.
EVANS ’Tis unreasonable. Will you take up your wife’s
clothes? Come away.
FORD Empty the basket, I say!
To John and Robert
PAGE Why, man, why?
FORD Master Page, as I am a man, there was one conveyed
out of my house yesterday in this basket. Why may not he be
there again? In my house I am sure he is. My intelligence is
true, my jealousy is reasonable. Pluck me
To John and Robert
out all the linen.
MISTRESS FORD If you find a man there, he shall die a flea’s 132
death.
John and Robert empty the basket
PAGE Here’s no man.
SHALLOW By my fidelity 135 , this is not well, Master Ford. This
wrongs you.
EVANS Master Ford, you must pray, and not follow the
imaginations of your own heart. This is jealousies.
FORD Well, he’s not here I seek for.
PAGE No, nor nowhere else but in your brain.
FORD Help to search my house this one time. If I find not
what I seek, show no colour for my extremity 142 , let me forever
be your table-sport 143 . Let them say of me, ‘As jealous as Ford,
that searched a hollow walnut for his wife’s leman 144 .’ Satisfy
me once more, once more search
with me.
John and Robert refill the basket and exeunt with it
MISTRESS FORD What, ho, Mistress Page, come you and the old
woman down. My husband will come into the chamber.
FORD Old woman? What old woman’s that?
MISTRESS FORD Why, it is my maid’s aunt of Brentford.
FORD A witch, a quean , an old cozening 151 quean! Have I not
forbid her my house? She comes of 152 errands, does she? We are
simple men, we do not know what’s brought to pass under 153
the profession of fortune-telling. She works by charms, by
spells, by th’figure , and such daubery 155 as this is, beyond our
element 156 . We know nothing. Come down, you
Takes a cudgel
witch, you hag, you! Come down, I say!
MISTRESS FORD Nay, good sweet husband.— Good
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