so glad you have nobody here.
MISTRESS FORD Why?
MISTRESS PAGE Why, woman, your husband is in his old lines 17
again: he so takes on 18 yonder with my husband, so rails
against all married mankind, so curses all Eve’s daughters
of what complexion 20 soever, and so buffets himself on the
forehead, crying, ‘ Peer out 21 , peer out!’, that any madness I
ever yet beheld seemed but tameness, civility and patience
to 23 this his distemper he is in now. I am glad the fat knight is
not here.
MISTRESS FORD Why, does he talk of him?
MISTRESS PAGE Of none but him, and swears he was carried
out, the last time he searched for him, in a basket: protests to
my husband he is now here, and hath drawn him and the
rest of their company from their sport to make another
experiment 30 of his suspicion. But I am glad the knight is not
here: now he shall see his own foolery.
MISTRESS FORD How near is he, Mistress Page?
MISTRESS PAGE Hard by, at street end. He will be here anon.
MISTRESS FORD I am undone. The knight is here.
MISTRESS PAGE Why then you are utterly shamed, and he’s but a
dead man. What a woman are you? Away with him, away
with him! Better shame than murder.
MISTRESS FORD Which way should he go? How should I bestow 38
him? Shall I put him into the basket again?
[
Enter Falstaff
]
FALSTAFF No, I’ll come no more i’th’basket. May I not go out
ere he come?
MISTRESS PAGE Alas, three of Master Ford’s brothers watch the
door with pistols, that none shall issue out: otherwise you
might slip away ere he came. But what make you 44 here?
FALSTAFF What shall I do? I’ll creep up into the chimney.
MISTRESS FORD There they always use to discharge their birding- 46
pieces. Creep into the kiln-hole 47 .
FALSTAFF Where is it?
MISTRESS FORD He will seek there, on my word. Neither press,
coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he hath an abstract 50 for
the remembrance of such places, and goes to them by his
note: there is no hiding you in the house.
FALSTAFF I’ll go out then.
MISTRESS PAGE If you go out in your own semblance 54 , you die,
Sir John — unless you go out disguised.
MISTRESS FORD How might we disguise him?
MISTRESS PAGE Alas the day, I know not. There is no woman’s
gown big enough for him: otherwise he might put on a hat, a
muffler 59 and a kerchief, and so escape.
FALSTAFF Good hearts, devise something: any extremity rather
than a mischief 61 .
MISTRESS FORD My maid’s aunt, the fat woman of Brentford 62 ,
has a gown above 63 .
MISTRESS PAGE On my word, it will serve him: she’s as big as he
is — and there’s her thrummed 65 hat and her muffler too. Run
up, Sir John.
MISTRESS FORD Go, go, sweet Sir John. Mistress Page and I will
look 68 some linen for your head.
MISTRESS PAGE Quick, quick! We’ll come dress you straight 69 : put
on the gown the while 70 .
[
Exit Falstaff
]
MISTRESS FORD I would my husband would meet him in this
shape 72 . He cannot abide the old woman of Brentford; he swears
she’s a witch, forbade her my house and hath threatened to
beat her.
MISTRESS PAGE Heaven guide him to thy husband’s cudgel, and
the devil guide his cudgel afterwards!
MISTRESS FORD But is my husband coming?
MISTRESS PAGE Ay, in good sadness 78 is he, and talks of the basket
too, howsoever he hath had intelligence 79 .
MISTRESS FORD We’ll try 80 that, for I’ll appoint my men to carry
the basket again, to meet him at the door with it, as they did
last time.
MISTRESS PAGE Nay, but he’ll be here presently. Let’s go dress
him like the witch of Brentford.
MISTRESS FORD I’ll first direct my men what they shall do with
the basket. Go up, I’ll bring linen for him straight.
[
Exit
]
MISTRESS PAGE
MISTRESS FORD Why?
MISTRESS PAGE Why, woman, your husband is in his old lines 17
again: he so takes on 18 yonder with my husband, so rails
against all married mankind, so curses all Eve’s daughters
of what complexion 20 soever, and so buffets himself on the
forehead, crying, ‘ Peer out 21 , peer out!’, that any madness I
ever yet beheld seemed but tameness, civility and patience
to 23 this his distemper he is in now. I am glad the fat knight is
not here.
MISTRESS FORD Why, does he talk of him?
MISTRESS PAGE Of none but him, and swears he was carried
out, the last time he searched for him, in a basket: protests to
my husband he is now here, and hath drawn him and the
rest of their company from their sport to make another
experiment 30 of his suspicion. But I am glad the knight is not
here: now he shall see his own foolery.
MISTRESS FORD How near is he, Mistress Page?
MISTRESS PAGE Hard by, at street end. He will be here anon.
MISTRESS FORD I am undone. The knight is here.
MISTRESS PAGE Why then you are utterly shamed, and he’s but a
dead man. What a woman are you? Away with him, away
with him! Better shame than murder.
MISTRESS FORD Which way should he go? How should I bestow 38
him? Shall I put him into the basket again?
[
Enter Falstaff
]
FALSTAFF No, I’ll come no more i’th’basket. May I not go out
ere he come?
MISTRESS PAGE Alas, three of Master Ford’s brothers watch the
door with pistols, that none shall issue out: otherwise you
might slip away ere he came. But what make you 44 here?
FALSTAFF What shall I do? I’ll creep up into the chimney.
MISTRESS FORD There they always use to discharge their birding- 46
pieces. Creep into the kiln-hole 47 .
FALSTAFF Where is it?
MISTRESS FORD He will seek there, on my word. Neither press,
coffer, chest, trunk, well, vault, but he hath an abstract 50 for
the remembrance of such places, and goes to them by his
note: there is no hiding you in the house.
FALSTAFF I’ll go out then.
MISTRESS PAGE If you go out in your own semblance 54 , you die,
Sir John — unless you go out disguised.
MISTRESS FORD How might we disguise him?
MISTRESS PAGE Alas the day, I know not. There is no woman’s
gown big enough for him: otherwise he might put on a hat, a
muffler 59 and a kerchief, and so escape.
FALSTAFF Good hearts, devise something: any extremity rather
than a mischief 61 .
MISTRESS FORD My maid’s aunt, the fat woman of Brentford 62 ,
has a gown above 63 .
MISTRESS PAGE On my word, it will serve him: she’s as big as he
is — and there’s her thrummed 65 hat and her muffler too. Run
up, Sir John.
MISTRESS FORD Go, go, sweet Sir John. Mistress Page and I will
look 68 some linen for your head.
MISTRESS PAGE Quick, quick! We’ll come dress you straight 69 : put
on the gown the while 70 .
[
Exit Falstaff
]
MISTRESS FORD I would my husband would meet him in this
shape 72 . He cannot abide the old woman of Brentford; he swears
she’s a witch, forbade her my house and hath threatened to
beat her.
MISTRESS PAGE Heaven guide him to thy husband’s cudgel, and
the devil guide his cudgel afterwards!
MISTRESS FORD But is my husband coming?
MISTRESS PAGE Ay, in good sadness 78 is he, and talks of the basket
too, howsoever he hath had intelligence 79 .
MISTRESS FORD We’ll try 80 that, for I’ll appoint my men to carry
the basket again, to meet him at the door with it, as they did
last time.
MISTRESS PAGE Nay, but he’ll be here presently. Let’s go dress
him like the witch of Brentford.
MISTRESS FORD I’ll first direct my men what they shall do with
the basket. Go up, I’ll bring linen for him straight.
[
Exit
]
MISTRESS PAGE
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