stripper, everyone should have the opportunity to feel represented in some way.
----
2 I only recently learned how to distinguish between “If I was” and “If I were” for the purpose of this book. Twitter does not merit such effort. Don’t judge!
3 Refer to ABG Guide: Connecting with Other Blacks for an appendix of the various blacks.
ABG Guide: Connecting with Other Blacks
T he gamut of “blackness” is so wide. So very, very wide. Luckily for you, I have encountered almost every type of black, and as the self-appointed representative of the “Awkward” Black, I am taking it upon myself to not only introduce other Awkward Blacks to each type of black, but also to give them guidance on appropriately dealing with each type. Take note: some blacks are a hybrid of two or even three blacks, though statistically that group is very small. In such cases, more than one interaction in more than one environment is required to determine the appropriate approach. Many blacks have been all of these blacks at one point in time. So as not to place the importance or value of one black over the other (that’s what real life is for!), I have (more or less) organized them alphabetically. If you’re not an Awkward Black, you may still find the information useful when attempting to engage other blacks.
----
The 10% Black:
W. E. B. Du Bois only added fuel to the fire for these blacks. The self-proclaimed talented tenth, these blacks feel as though the intellectual integrity of all blacks rests on their shoulders. Many are outwardly bitter that they have to carry this responsibility, but secretly appreciative that they have been called out as the Chosen Few. Usually the validation of one’s tenthness comes from white acceptance. The 10 percent are both grateful for and resentful of this. The 10 percenters feel it is their duty to redeem blackness in the eyes of all.
THE APPROACH: Feign ignorance. You don’t know as much as they do. If they deem you worthy, they will try to keep you at length and flex their knowledge, speaking at you. I’ve been caught for hours, listening to these blacks lecture. The key is to appear disengaged and dumb. It will save you time.
KEY PHRASES: “I don’t know”; “Really?”; “Where’s the chicken?”; “Cast down your bucket.”
The Ambitious Black:
Race isn’t a barrier for this black; it’s either an asset or not a concern at all. This black is a chameleon, able to turn it on and turn it off in any environment in the name of advancement. This black acknowledges his or her blackness to other blacks, but will quickly renounce race in front of “others.” The Awkward Black and the Ambitious Black are very compatible.
THE APPROACH: The Awkward Black can find a potential friend and/or lover in this black. The Ambitious Black is the perfect partner to help the Awkward Black adjust in his/her own skin. For general interactions, be friendly and keep an eye open, because this black is studying and will take your job.
KEY PHRASES: “Let’s hang”; “Teach me”; “Want to be my friend?”; “Love me.”
The Awkward Black:
You Are Here.
THE APPROACH : See entire book.
The Basic Black:
Many confuse being “basic” with being “regular.” That is false. “Regular” implies that there is a black norm, and I would argue that there is not. Barring strong innate familial traits and twins, blacks are not the same. The Basic Black, however, is the closest you can get to regular. The Basic Black is minimalist art in human form. People in this category are proud to be black, but don’t flaunt it. They enjoy chicken and watermelon just as much as they enjoy steak and persimmons. Though goal-oriented, they are not complicated, and that is all there is to that.
THE APPROACH: Don’t overcomplicate them. Talk to them as you would talk to your neighbor.
KEY PHRASES: “How are you?”; “How’s the fam?”; “Have a nice day”; “Where’s the BBQ?”
The
----
2 I only recently learned how to distinguish between “If I was” and “If I were” for the purpose of this book. Twitter does not merit such effort. Don’t judge!
3 Refer to ABG Guide: Connecting with Other Blacks for an appendix of the various blacks.
ABG Guide: Connecting with Other Blacks
T he gamut of “blackness” is so wide. So very, very wide. Luckily for you, I have encountered almost every type of black, and as the self-appointed representative of the “Awkward” Black, I am taking it upon myself to not only introduce other Awkward Blacks to each type of black, but also to give them guidance on appropriately dealing with each type. Take note: some blacks are a hybrid of two or even three blacks, though statistically that group is very small. In such cases, more than one interaction in more than one environment is required to determine the appropriate approach. Many blacks have been all of these blacks at one point in time. So as not to place the importance or value of one black over the other (that’s what real life is for!), I have (more or less) organized them alphabetically. If you’re not an Awkward Black, you may still find the information useful when attempting to engage other blacks.
----
The 10% Black:
W. E. B. Du Bois only added fuel to the fire for these blacks. The self-proclaimed talented tenth, these blacks feel as though the intellectual integrity of all blacks rests on their shoulders. Many are outwardly bitter that they have to carry this responsibility, but secretly appreciative that they have been called out as the Chosen Few. Usually the validation of one’s tenthness comes from white acceptance. The 10 percent are both grateful for and resentful of this. The 10 percenters feel it is their duty to redeem blackness in the eyes of all.
THE APPROACH: Feign ignorance. You don’t know as much as they do. If they deem you worthy, they will try to keep you at length and flex their knowledge, speaking at you. I’ve been caught for hours, listening to these blacks lecture. The key is to appear disengaged and dumb. It will save you time.
KEY PHRASES: “I don’t know”; “Really?”; “Where’s the chicken?”; “Cast down your bucket.”
The Ambitious Black:
Race isn’t a barrier for this black; it’s either an asset or not a concern at all. This black is a chameleon, able to turn it on and turn it off in any environment in the name of advancement. This black acknowledges his or her blackness to other blacks, but will quickly renounce race in front of “others.” The Awkward Black and the Ambitious Black are very compatible.
THE APPROACH: The Awkward Black can find a potential friend and/or lover in this black. The Ambitious Black is the perfect partner to help the Awkward Black adjust in his/her own skin. For general interactions, be friendly and keep an eye open, because this black is studying and will take your job.
KEY PHRASES: “Let’s hang”; “Teach me”; “Want to be my friend?”; “Love me.”
The Awkward Black:
You Are Here.
THE APPROACH : See entire book.
The Basic Black:
Many confuse being “basic” with being “regular.” That is false. “Regular” implies that there is a black norm, and I would argue that there is not. Barring strong innate familial traits and twins, blacks are not the same. The Basic Black, however, is the closest you can get to regular. The Basic Black is minimalist art in human form. People in this category are proud to be black, but don’t flaunt it. They enjoy chicken and watermelon just as much as they enjoy steak and persimmons. Though goal-oriented, they are not complicated, and that is all there is to that.
THE APPROACH: Don’t overcomplicate them. Talk to them as you would talk to your neighbor.
KEY PHRASES: “How are you?”; “How’s the fam?”; “Have a nice day”; “Where’s the BBQ?”
The
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