low after the birth of her child, for more than one young one woman had been known to suffer a deep melancholy after giving birth.
Amelia frowned. Gerard’s words as he proposed seemed to in dicate that he was looking for a comfortable marriage that would not make too many demands on his emotions. Was he saying that she must not expect too much—that he simply needed a complaisant woman to care for his child and his home?
Did he care for her at all?
What nonsense was this? She was such a fool! Amelia’s thoughts were confused as she changed for dinner that evening. For years she had regretted the love she had lost. She had felt the years slipping away, her youth lost. There were times when she believed she would die an old maid, unfulfilled and unloved.
Recently, after meeting Gerard again, she had begun to long for him to speak. Now he had proposed and she had accepted, and yet she was beset by doubts. A tiny voice in her head was telling her she should not hope for a love match. Gerard was older and he had undoubtedly changed from the young man who had declared his love so passionately. He had spoken of caring for Amelia and of looking forward to her becoming his wife—not the words of a man desperately in love. Not the passionate declaration she had hoped to hear!
Gerard had asked her to marry him because it was a convenient arrangement. He wanted a wife—a mother for his beautiful daughter. Had he not asked her to give him her opinion of Lisa’s nanny? She haddone so and her thoughts coincided with his, which had made him feel she would make an ideal wife and mother. In her first rush of delight that he had spoken, Amelia had imagined that he was proposing because he loved her as she loved him. However, she was certain that he respected and liked her—and was that not a perfectly sound basis for marriage?
She took a turn about the room, her thoughts tumbling in confusion as she came to terms with her situation. Was a marriage of convenience acceptable? Could she be happy as Gerard’s wife, knowing that he cared for her but was not in love with her?
Of course she could! Amelia scolded herself for the feeling of disappointment she had been experiencing since leaving Gerard. She was no longer a green girl. She ought not to expect romance at her age. Her heart told her that Gerard was the only man she would ever love. If she behaved foolishly and changed her mind, because his proposal was not the declaration of love she desired, she would be cutting off her nose to spite her face—and that would be ridiculous.
Amelia was faced with the choice of remaining unwed for the rest of her life or marrying the man she loved, understanding that he did not feel romantic love for her. Had she been that young girl of so many years ago, she would have demanded an equal partnership where both partners loved, but the years had taught her some hard lessons and she was a woman of sense. The prospect of remaining single all her life was one she had faced, because there seemed no alternative. However, she now had a chance of somehappiness. She would have a husband who cared for her in his own way and she would have a family; she was still young enough to give Gerard an heir. In her mind she saw pictures of their sons growing through childhood to manhood, hearing their laughter as an echo in her head and seeing their smiling faces. If she did not marry, she would never have a child of her own to love. She might not have the passionate love she had longed for, but she would have a family, children and companionship.
It was enough, she decided. She would make it enough, and perhaps Gerard would recapture some of the feeling he’d once had for her. His kiss had told her that he was not indifferent in a physical sense. He found her desirable. Perhaps in time true love would blossom once more.
A marriage where the feeling was stronger on one side than the other was not unusual. People married for many reasons, quite often for money
Amelia frowned. Gerard’s words as he proposed seemed to in dicate that he was looking for a comfortable marriage that would not make too many demands on his emotions. Was he saying that she must not expect too much—that he simply needed a complaisant woman to care for his child and his home?
Did he care for her at all?
What nonsense was this? She was such a fool! Amelia’s thoughts were confused as she changed for dinner that evening. For years she had regretted the love she had lost. She had felt the years slipping away, her youth lost. There were times when she believed she would die an old maid, unfulfilled and unloved.
Recently, after meeting Gerard again, she had begun to long for him to speak. Now he had proposed and she had accepted, and yet she was beset by doubts. A tiny voice in her head was telling her she should not hope for a love match. Gerard was older and he had undoubtedly changed from the young man who had declared his love so passionately. He had spoken of caring for Amelia and of looking forward to her becoming his wife—not the words of a man desperately in love. Not the passionate declaration she had hoped to hear!
Gerard had asked her to marry him because it was a convenient arrangement. He wanted a wife—a mother for his beautiful daughter. Had he not asked her to give him her opinion of Lisa’s nanny? She haddone so and her thoughts coincided with his, which had made him feel she would make an ideal wife and mother. In her first rush of delight that he had spoken, Amelia had imagined that he was proposing because he loved her as she loved him. However, she was certain that he respected and liked her—and was that not a perfectly sound basis for marriage?
She took a turn about the room, her thoughts tumbling in confusion as she came to terms with her situation. Was a marriage of convenience acceptable? Could she be happy as Gerard’s wife, knowing that he cared for her but was not in love with her?
Of course she could! Amelia scolded herself for the feeling of disappointment she had been experiencing since leaving Gerard. She was no longer a green girl. She ought not to expect romance at her age. Her heart told her that Gerard was the only man she would ever love. If she behaved foolishly and changed her mind, because his proposal was not the declaration of love she desired, she would be cutting off her nose to spite her face—and that would be ridiculous.
Amelia was faced with the choice of remaining unwed for the rest of her life or marrying the man she loved, understanding that he did not feel romantic love for her. Had she been that young girl of so many years ago, she would have demanded an equal partnership where both partners loved, but the years had taught her some hard lessons and she was a woman of sense. The prospect of remaining single all her life was one she had faced, because there seemed no alternative. However, she now had a chance of somehappiness. She would have a husband who cared for her in his own way and she would have a family; she was still young enough to give Gerard an heir. In her mind she saw pictures of their sons growing through childhood to manhood, hearing their laughter as an echo in her head and seeing their smiling faces. If she did not marry, she would never have a child of her own to love. She might not have the passionate love she had longed for, but she would have a family, children and companionship.
It was enough, she decided. She would make it enough, and perhaps Gerard would recapture some of the feeling he’d once had for her. His kiss had told her that he was not indifferent in a physical sense. He found her desirable. Perhaps in time true love would blossom once more.
A marriage where the feeling was stronger on one side than the other was not unusual. People married for many reasons, quite often for money
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