The Moonlight Monsters Detective Agency Volume One by Maggie Harper

‘By the way, you got a license for that gun Sam?’
    ‘Just hear me out,’ Parker said, ‘while I was up in Ardent Meadows I heard about a little underground card game and decided to take a look. I’m a master hand at poker – though you can probably guess that already, right?’
    ‘Lying to trick other people out of money?’ Tina said, ‘No, not you.’
    ‘Well the tourney was a mix of monsters and seedy normals alike, right? Real slimebags here, not my usual kind of people…’
    ‘Really? They sound exactly like your kind of people.’
    ‘Just shut up and let me speak a minute, will you?’ Parker continued, ‘some scumbag part-demon started boasting about how he knew of some bad shit that was about to go down in Moonlight City. I started prying for more information, letting on I thought it was all good fun. Anyway, this joker said he had it from a good source that a gang of Krampi were loose in the city. And they were fixing to go wild – today.’
    ‘ Krampi ?’ Tina snorted, ‘Are you a total moron? Or do you think I am? I’ve lived my whole life in America and I’ve never once heard of a Krampus over here. Is that really the best you could do?’
    Krampi were low-level winter demons who inhabited the mountains of northern Europe and the Alpine regions, though even there they were a dying race these days. They were violent capricious creatures, who lived for chaos and madness – and they weren’t known for their intelligence or ability to plan ahead.
    ‘No,’ Parker said, ‘for your information, that’s not the best I could do. I’m an expert at spinning tales, love, just ask Robert Stoker – so why the damn hell would I make this one up?’
    Tina mulled it over. She had to admit Parker was capable of something a little better than that. But Krampi ? Seriously?
    ‘Yeah,’ she said, ‘then how the hell did they get here then? As far as I’ve heard, the Krampi couldn’t even organize themselves down from the mountains to raid a village without fighting amongst themselves.’
    ‘I don’t know love,’ Parker sighed, ‘all I know is there’s five of the buggers loose in Moonlight City and they’re planning to wreak havoc on a bunch of malls all over the city. That’s why I asked you to meet me at Waterside.’
    Tina glanced in the rearview mirror. ‘You saying there’s a Krampus at Waterside?’
    ‘I don’t know, do I? But I figured it would be a good place to start at least.’
    Tina thought about it for a few minutes. Parker did look pretty upset and she had to admit that his story added up – even if it was a little far-fetched.
    ‘Ok, Parker,’ she sighed, ‘I’ll check it out. But first I’m driving you back to HQ and putting you in lock-up. You just bought yourself an extra few hours in the cell.’
    ‘Fine by me,’ Parker replied, ‘just as long as you sort it out before the whole city gets destroyed.’
    Tina eyed him warily in the mirror. ‘But if I find out you’re lying to me again, so help me God, I’ll wipe that blood-sucking grin off your face.’
    ‘Hey tough guy,’ Parker shrugged, ‘you’re looking in the mirror – who’s smiling?’
     
    At that moment Tina’s phone started to ring. It was Boris. She clicked it open.
    ‘Hey Boris, I got him–’
    At the other end of the line Boris’s voice was flustered as he cut her off. ‘Never mind that,’ he shouted, ‘I’m out at the Castletown Heights shopping mall up north – some bad govno is going down out here…’
    ‘What’s up?’
    ‘All hell’s broken loose. A Store Santa’s flipped the lid. He’s throwing crap everywhere. As if that’s not bad enough though, I’m getting a rotten scent off him. I think he might be demon.’
    ‘Oh shit,’ Tina groaned, ‘can you handle it by yourself?’
    ‘ Ya ,’ Boris answered. In the background Tina could hear the sound of shoppers screaming. ‘Just give me a second to find somewhere safe to hide my presents.’
    Tina rubbed her temple as