never make the right
choice in my life.
"Why are you still reading
that?"
"Because I want to" I don't even look
at him, why would I?
"I know, but you can ask me whatever
you want, you don't need to read it" That's true, last night they
said that I could ask whatever I wanted.
I put the book down and sit back, Jay
is still standing in front of the door.
"Are you an Immortal too?"
"No, I'm not. Not exactly"
"A God, already?"
"Neither", he smiles "I'm a Keeper.
Which I can see you haven't read about. "
No, I haven't. I don't pay much
attention to the tone in which he said that, it was more like a
joke and I am so not buying it, not now. I have two options, I can
both shut up and go on reading or I keep asking him. Since he has
been helping me out to be more open to people, I go for the second
option, was all that about this? So I wouldn't be shy to ask him
anything now? Probably.
"So you can die" It sounds as if it
was something I deeply desire. That's the only thing I can think
of. I want to apologize immediately, but I can't, I already said it
and I can't deny that for one second, I meant it.
"I will if I have to. You see, the
Keeper's only purpose is to make sure that Catalyst and the
Immortal bond on the millennia. Usually, Keepers don't have to
stick around for much long, but Constance wanted me to keep an eye
on you from day one."
Is he trying to make me feel special?
Because it is not working. It seems that mine is a very singular
case, and I'd like to know why. But I don't have to ask, Jay has
seen the question in my eyes and before I can make up the words he
is already answering it.
"Elizabeth is a very special Immortal,
plus she is the only female one that Constance has ever had the
honor of leading. Immortal women are said to be extremely powerful
in the last stages of their life, so it is imperative that you are
safe. She can't afford to lose your soul." I can't believe they
speak up their minds that easily, it's my life we are talking about
and I feel like if he could trade it for a Star Wars poster.
"Sorry, I should not have said that."
I'm done with it for now, I have to
put all my thoughts together and this is not the place for that.
You know you are in trouble when you feel trapped in your own room,
and that's exactly how I feel. I have the feeling that I will feel
trapped anywhere I go from now on.
I stand up and put on a clean t-shirt,
and a minute later I'm walking down the streets of Barcelona, this
time on my own. Or so I think, because I have a shadow watching my
step. Jay is walking right behind me, I know it. I can sense him. I
really don't care. I should have taken my headphones, that way I
could stop the thinking. I don't know which direction I'm going, I
just walk, I know the city well enough to make my way back from
almost anywhere so I don't care where I end up.
It's almost night when I get
somewhere I know, it's one of my favorite places in the city,
Gaudi's masterpiece, The Park Güell. The doors are still open. I can't see Jay
behind me so I sneak in and I lose myself in the architecture of
the park. Every time I come here I can't stop looking up to the
ceiling of the great colonnade. I can see some people taking
pictures of themselves, I wish I could be so naive and do that too,
if only they knew in what sort of world they live in. I go up to
the great balcony, I have never seen it so empty in the time that
I've been here. The sight of Barcelona is overwhelming, the huge
city surrounded by the sea is the only thing between me and madness
right now. This is the only quite moment I've had since yesterday,
I can't even hear my thoughts.
It's already night when I walk out the
park, I am more relaxed and I think I can see things more clearly,
at least as clear as one can see all that's happening around me.
Again, I see people with shopping bags, having something to eat on
the streets. Groups of friends, couples, lovely married grannies
holding their purses as if they contain the
choice in my life.
"Why are you still reading
that?"
"Because I want to" I don't even look
at him, why would I?
"I know, but you can ask me whatever
you want, you don't need to read it" That's true, last night they
said that I could ask whatever I wanted.
I put the book down and sit back, Jay
is still standing in front of the door.
"Are you an Immortal too?"
"No, I'm not. Not exactly"
"A God, already?"
"Neither", he smiles "I'm a Keeper.
Which I can see you haven't read about. "
No, I haven't. I don't pay much
attention to the tone in which he said that, it was more like a
joke and I am so not buying it, not now. I have two options, I can
both shut up and go on reading or I keep asking him. Since he has
been helping me out to be more open to people, I go for the second
option, was all that about this? So I wouldn't be shy to ask him
anything now? Probably.
"So you can die" It sounds as if it
was something I deeply desire. That's the only thing I can think
of. I want to apologize immediately, but I can't, I already said it
and I can't deny that for one second, I meant it.
"I will if I have to. You see, the
Keeper's only purpose is to make sure that Catalyst and the
Immortal bond on the millennia. Usually, Keepers don't have to
stick around for much long, but Constance wanted me to keep an eye
on you from day one."
Is he trying to make me feel special?
Because it is not working. It seems that mine is a very singular
case, and I'd like to know why. But I don't have to ask, Jay has
seen the question in my eyes and before I can make up the words he
is already answering it.
"Elizabeth is a very special Immortal,
plus she is the only female one that Constance has ever had the
honor of leading. Immortal women are said to be extremely powerful
in the last stages of their life, so it is imperative that you are
safe. She can't afford to lose your soul." I can't believe they
speak up their minds that easily, it's my life we are talking about
and I feel like if he could trade it for a Star Wars poster.
"Sorry, I should not have said that."
I'm done with it for now, I have to
put all my thoughts together and this is not the place for that.
You know you are in trouble when you feel trapped in your own room,
and that's exactly how I feel. I have the feeling that I will feel
trapped anywhere I go from now on.
I stand up and put on a clean t-shirt,
and a minute later I'm walking down the streets of Barcelona, this
time on my own. Or so I think, because I have a shadow watching my
step. Jay is walking right behind me, I know it. I can sense him. I
really don't care. I should have taken my headphones, that way I
could stop the thinking. I don't know which direction I'm going, I
just walk, I know the city well enough to make my way back from
almost anywhere so I don't care where I end up.
It's almost night when I get
somewhere I know, it's one of my favorite places in the city,
Gaudi's masterpiece, The Park Güell. The doors are still open. I can't see Jay
behind me so I sneak in and I lose myself in the architecture of
the park. Every time I come here I can't stop looking up to the
ceiling of the great colonnade. I can see some people taking
pictures of themselves, I wish I could be so naive and do that too,
if only they knew in what sort of world they live in. I go up to
the great balcony, I have never seen it so empty in the time that
I've been here. The sight of Barcelona is overwhelming, the huge
city surrounded by the sea is the only thing between me and madness
right now. This is the only quite moment I've had since yesterday,
I can't even hear my thoughts.
It's already night when I walk out the
park, I am more relaxed and I think I can see things more clearly,
at least as clear as one can see all that's happening around me.
Again, I see people with shopping bags, having something to eat on
the streets. Groups of friends, couples, lovely married grannies
holding their purses as if they contain the
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