The Most Beautiful Woman in Town by Charles Bukowski

..”
    â€œall right,” I said, “so much for history. but I’m still not going to stick my dick, my poor little dick into that hunk of sheetmetal or whatever it is! Hitler must have really been a madman to nursemaid you. I wish the Russians had gotten to your ass first! I want my 20 bucks back!”
    Von Brashlitz laughed, “heeeheeeheeehe … it is just my little joke, nien? heeheeeheeeheee!”
    he shoved that mound of lead back into the closet. slammed the door. “oh, heheeehe!” had a bit more schnapps.
    Von B. poured another schnapps. he really put them down. “gentlemen, I am an artist and an inventor! my FUCK MACHINE is really my daughter, Tanya …”
    â€œmore little jokes, Von?” I asked.
    â€œjoke nothing! Tanya! go over and sit in the gentleman’s lap!”
    Tanya laughed, got up, walked over and sat in my lap. a FUCK MACHINE? I couldn’t believe it! her skin was skin, or so it seemed, and her tongue as it worked into my mouth as we kissed, it was not mechanical — each movement was different, responding to my own.
    I was busy at it, ripping her blouse from her breasts, working at her panties, hotter than I had been in years, and then we were tangled; we somehow got to standing — and I took her standing up, my hands ripping at her long blonde hair, bending her head back, then reaching down, spreading her asshole as I pumped, she came — I could feel the throbbing, and I joined.
    it was the best fuck I had ever had!
    Tanya went to the bathroom, cleaned-up and showered, dressed-up again for Indian Mike. I guess.
    â€œman’s greatest invention,” Von Brashlitz said quite seriously.
    he was quite right.
    then Tanya came out and sat on MY lap.
    â€œNO! NO! TANYA! IT’S THE OTHER MAN’S TURN! YOU JUST FINISHED FUCKING THAT ONE!”
    she didn’t seem to hear. and it was strange, even for a FUCK MACHINE, because, really, I had never been a very good lover.
    â€œdo you love me?” she asked.
    â€œyes.”
    â€œI love you. and I am so happy. and … I’m not supposed to be alive. you know that, don’t you?”
    â€œI love you, Tanya. that’s all that I know.”
    â€œgod damn it!” screamed the old man, “this FUCKING MACHINE!” he walked over to this varnished box with the word TANYA printed on the side. there were these little wires sprouting out of it; there were dials, and needles that quivered, and many colors, lights that blinked on and off, things that ticked .. . Von B. was the craziest pimp I had ever met. he kept playing with the dials, then he looked at Tanya:
    â€œ25 YEARS! damn near a lifetime to build you! I even had to hide you from HITLER! and now … you try to turn into a mere and ordinary bitch!”
    â€œI’m not 25,” said Tanya, “I’m 24.”
    â€œyou see? you see? just like a common bitch!”
    he went back to his dials.
    â€œyou’ve put on a different shade of lipstick,” I said to Tanya.
    â€œyou like it?”
    â€œoh, yes!”
    she leaned over and kissed me.
    Von B. kept playing with his dials. I felt that he would win.
    Von Brashlitz turned to Indian Mike. “it’s just a minor kink in the machine. trust me. I’ll get it straight in a minute, ya?”
    â€œI hope so,” said Indian Mike, “I’ve got 14 inches waiting and am twenty bucks down.
    â€œI love you,” Tanya told me, “I will never fuck any other man. if I can’t have you, I won’t have anybody.”
    â€œI’ll forgive you, Tanya, for anything that you do.”
    the prof was getting pissed. he kept turning the dials but nothing was happening. “TANYA! it is time for you to FUCK the OTHER man! I am. .. getting tired… must have a bit of schnapps … be off to sleep … Tanya …”
    â€œah,” said Tanya, “you rotten old fuck! you and your schnapps, and then nibbling