“I think I’m grounded.”
“No problem. I’ll come over.” Reb, whose parents were notoriously lax when it came to rules and punishments, didn’t quite understand or respect other people’s restrictions.
“Bad idea. Mom’s on the warpath.”
“What did you do that was so horrible she’s locking you in your room right after you’ve been dumped?”
“Don’t ask.”
“Okay, I won’t. Do you want me to pick you up tomorrow morning? I know Diva’s sort of a clunker, but it beats the bus.” I could hear the smile in her voice and couldn’t help feeling a little better. Reb was good at being upbeat for other people; she would’ve made a greatcheerleader, although I would never say that to her, given her deep-seated hatred for cheerleaders.
“I would be honored to ride in Diva,” I said.
“Good. See you tomorrow at seven-forty-five sharp. I’m honking once, then leaving.” Rides from Reb came with hard-and-fast rules. I wasn’t a very punctual person, and she left me behind a lot.
“I’ll try my best. Thanks, Reb.”
“No prob, Bob.”
I hung up feeling relieved. Sure, Erin would hassle me at school the next day about letting Derek dump me, but Reb knew exactly how I felt and was on my side. And as soon as she was done lecturing me, Erin would be, too. I wasn’t alone in the world.
In fact, I was the opposite of alone; my world had just gotten a little more crowded.
The entire first floor was empty. Dad was probably upstairs in the spare room, reading or watching television, and Mom was in bed already; I could hear a Golden Girls rerun blasting from the other side of the door. Hannah, I figured, was in the guest bedroom—her room now. I couldn’t imagine what she might be doing; at least she wasn’t pacing the floor like she had been the night before. I knocked tentatively, hoping she’d tell me to go away.
But no. “Come in,” she called.
I stepped into the room hesitantly, not knowing quite what to expect. I found her sitting up in bed, reading The Bell Jar .
“Hey,” I said, without even thinking. “Is that my book?”
“Yes,” she responded. “I took it from your room while you were out—I hope you don’t mind, it didn’t look like you were reading it.”
I shrugged. I didn’t like the idea of her or anyone in my room, going through my stuff, when I wasn’t there, but it wasn’t the opportune time to bring it up. “I read it sophomore year in English class.” I paused for a second, then ventured another question. “Do you like it?” It bothered me that I couldn’t even predict how she would react to anything. Not only did I not know Hannah; I’d never known anyone even remotely like her.
“It’s one of my favorites,” she told me. “I read it in high school, too, for class, but I’d forgotten most of it.”
“It’s one of my favorites, too.” Hannah smiled at that. “Were you allowed to read at the convent?”
She shook her head. “Just the Bible, of course, and some theology. No fiction.”
“That would really suck for me,” I said. “I can’t imagine not being allowed to read.”
“It did suck,” she agreed. Hearing her say that was so weird that I sort of laughed.
“So …,” I began. “I just wanted to say that I wassorry for what I said to you earlier. About God. I didn’t mean it. I was just mad. Not at you. Just at the situation.”
“I understand,” she said, nodding in sympathy. “And anyway, if I thought God would turn back time for you if I asked, I absolutely would.”
“Ha.” I couldn’t tell if she was joking or serious. Probably a little bit of both. Then I voiced a question that had been lingering in the back of my mind since I’d found out she was coming home: “Do you even believe in God anymore?”
Maybe it was too personal. Maybe it was a stupid question. Hannah’s face became more serious, and she hesitated for so long I wondered if she would even answer. But then she sighed and said, “I don’t
“No problem. I’ll come over.” Reb, whose parents were notoriously lax when it came to rules and punishments, didn’t quite understand or respect other people’s restrictions.
“Bad idea. Mom’s on the warpath.”
“What did you do that was so horrible she’s locking you in your room right after you’ve been dumped?”
“Don’t ask.”
“Okay, I won’t. Do you want me to pick you up tomorrow morning? I know Diva’s sort of a clunker, but it beats the bus.” I could hear the smile in her voice and couldn’t help feeling a little better. Reb was good at being upbeat for other people; she would’ve made a greatcheerleader, although I would never say that to her, given her deep-seated hatred for cheerleaders.
“I would be honored to ride in Diva,” I said.
“Good. See you tomorrow at seven-forty-five sharp. I’m honking once, then leaving.” Rides from Reb came with hard-and-fast rules. I wasn’t a very punctual person, and she left me behind a lot.
“I’ll try my best. Thanks, Reb.”
“No prob, Bob.”
I hung up feeling relieved. Sure, Erin would hassle me at school the next day about letting Derek dump me, but Reb knew exactly how I felt and was on my side. And as soon as she was done lecturing me, Erin would be, too. I wasn’t alone in the world.
In fact, I was the opposite of alone; my world had just gotten a little more crowded.
The entire first floor was empty. Dad was probably upstairs in the spare room, reading or watching television, and Mom was in bed already; I could hear a Golden Girls rerun blasting from the other side of the door. Hannah, I figured, was in the guest bedroom—her room now. I couldn’t imagine what she might be doing; at least she wasn’t pacing the floor like she had been the night before. I knocked tentatively, hoping she’d tell me to go away.
But no. “Come in,” she called.
I stepped into the room hesitantly, not knowing quite what to expect. I found her sitting up in bed, reading The Bell Jar .
“Hey,” I said, without even thinking. “Is that my book?”
“Yes,” she responded. “I took it from your room while you were out—I hope you don’t mind, it didn’t look like you were reading it.”
I shrugged. I didn’t like the idea of her or anyone in my room, going through my stuff, when I wasn’t there, but it wasn’t the opportune time to bring it up. “I read it sophomore year in English class.” I paused for a second, then ventured another question. “Do you like it?” It bothered me that I couldn’t even predict how she would react to anything. Not only did I not know Hannah; I’d never known anyone even remotely like her.
“It’s one of my favorites,” she told me. “I read it in high school, too, for class, but I’d forgotten most of it.”
“It’s one of my favorites, too.” Hannah smiled at that. “Were you allowed to read at the convent?”
She shook her head. “Just the Bible, of course, and some theology. No fiction.”
“That would really suck for me,” I said. “I can’t imagine not being allowed to read.”
“It did suck,” she agreed. Hearing her say that was so weird that I sort of laughed.
“So …,” I began. “I just wanted to say that I wassorry for what I said to you earlier. About God. I didn’t mean it. I was just mad. Not at you. Just at the situation.”
“I understand,” she said, nodding in sympathy. “And anyway, if I thought God would turn back time for you if I asked, I absolutely would.”
“Ha.” I couldn’t tell if she was joking or serious. Probably a little bit of both. Then I voiced a question that had been lingering in the back of my mind since I’d found out she was coming home: “Do you even believe in God anymore?”
Maybe it was too personal. Maybe it was a stupid question. Hannah’s face became more serious, and she hesitated for so long I wondered if she would even answer. But then she sighed and said, “I don’t
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