The Party Line, a Myrtle Crumb Mystery Prequel by GTrent Page A

right now, I'm comin' over there."
    "Hold on a minute."
    This oughta be good. Shhhh!
    "Bill, don't you be callin' over here
threatening my Mama."
    "I did not threaten your Mama, Ava. I simply
told her that if you didn't come to the phone, I was comin' over
there."
    "And you don't call that a threat?"
    "No, I sure don't. Now, let's stop all this
nonsense. Come on back home."
    "Home to what? Your lies…your gamblin'?
You'd rather be out partyin' with your friends than home with
me."
    "Sugar, you know that ain't so."
    "It is so, and don't you call me Sugar."
    "What do I need to do to show you I
care?"
    "I don't know.” She sighed. “Just let me
spend a day or two with Mama…. I just need to figure everything
out."
    "All right. I love you, Ava."
    "Love you, Bill."
    [Click.]
    Well, there you go. Bill's been out cattin'
around, and Ava's sick of it. Notice how he said, "I love you,
Ava," but she said, "Love you, Bill" like she didn't really mean
it?
    Maybe she thinks it's time to take ol' Bill
to the cleaners and kick him out of that fancy house. Maybe move
somebody else in. Maybe somebody younger. Women are doin' that
these days. Used to always be the men who would cash in their older
wives for a younger one, but women are doin' it these days, too.
They figure what's good for the goose is good for the gander, I
reckon. Why that Anita Hodges hooked up with that J.T., and him not
but nineteen years old. Now that's on "The Young and The Restless,"
of course, but you know, these daytime drama series—that's what
they're called on the Emmy awards—they mirror real life.
    [Click, click, click.]
    Let's see who that is.
    "Hello?"
    "Hello, Tansie?"
    "Hi, Melvia. How are you today?"
    "I'm fine. It's you and Ava I'm worried
about."
    "Why's that?"
    "Well, I saw Ava come in over there with her
suitcase."
    "She's just stayin' with me a few days is
all," Tansie said.
    "Are you sick or something?"
    "No. I'm fine."
    "Are Ava and Bill havin' trouble?"
    "Well, why would you think that? He called
her just a minute ago…probably to make sure she got here all
right."
    "Did he? Well…. If there's anything you all
need, just let me know."
    "We, will, Melvia. Thank you for callin'.
Bye."
    [Click.]
    Melvia and Tansie are
sisters, but that don't mean that Tansie wants her to know
everything. Or vice versa. In fact, they're pretty competitive; and
each one wants the other one to think that her life is just peachy
keen. You oughta hear them at Christmas—tellin' each other what
they got from who, who said they looked nice, who said that their
bread puddin' was better than anybody’s . Naturally, the other
sister is the "anybody" whose bread puddin' don't measure
up.
    [Click, click, click.]
    "Hello, you have reached Reverend Jeff and
Elizabeth Parris. We can't come to the phone right now, but please
leave a message at the sound of the beep."
    "Preacher Jeff, this is Melvia Hobson. I'm
calling about my niece Ava. I want you to put her on the prayer
list because I believe she and her husband are having marital
problems. Thank you, and God bless you, Preacher."
    [Click.]
    Oh, ho, ho! That Melvia is
a sight. She'd better call back and put herself on the prayer list;
because when Tansie gets wind of this, all heck's gonna break
loose .

Fallin' Out
    I want you to know Tansie was livid that
Melvia put Ada and Bill on the prayer list. I started to say you
should've been here to hear that conversation, but on second
thought, no, you shouldn't have. Tansie had to go back to church
Sunday night just to repent for all the names she called Melvia…and
I expect she'll have to repent some more at Bible study on
Wednesday.
    You remember how Bill had called Ada beggin'
that girl to come home? Well, now he's singin' a different tune. I
don't know whether he got the idea off a talk show or what—sounds
awful much like Dr. Phil to me, but the last call he made to Ada
was to tell her to either come back home or to tell him she didn't
want him anymore so he could get on