not fit into this family; I was not of the same steely stock as they. Those were her very words to me, over and over and over, for years it’s all I’d heard.
You’re not as smart as Alwyn. As brave as Alwyn. As handsome as Alwyn. Why can’t you be more like your brother, he’s such a good dragon...
But I was less interested in hoarding treasures and stones, the only thing that brought me joy in this life was lying beside a girl who glowed blue as I watched her speak to the birds in the trees and smile as she told me of her day.
But I couldn’t shake the gnawing worry now. What if I couldn’t disrupt this binding of hers to the king, would I become mad like old uncle Jayks?
No, I would not even think on that. I would break their pact, one way or another. I had to, there was simply no other choice for me in the matter.
Instead of fury or disgust, there was pity for me shining in his golden eyes. “Then you are a fool.”
Maybe I was, but asking me to walk away from Lena was the same as asking him to cut out his heart and hand it to me. One could not survive without the other.
“Why did you reject our parents’ match?” I’d never had a chance to ask him.
Inhaling deeply, he stared out the window and said in monotone, “I was not ready for that level of responsibility. And I did not love her.”
“What is love other than a petty emotion?” I responded to him as our father had often done to us. But no sooner had I said it than I felt the wrongness of it.
His eyes were thoughtful when he turned them to me. “You want this woman. Why?”
I knew what he was getting at. Wondering if I loved my Lena. And the only answer I had was, “I don’t know. I claimed her years ago.”
“And what is that, if not love?” he asked simply.
My brother was seldom given to maudlin fancy, so to hear him speak of this, it actually had me thinking. Did I love her? Were those the emotions I felt?
I thought of my parents and how cold, how distant their union was. It’d been one of convenience, of uniting two houses and making them stronger for it. Alwyn and I had been conceived out of a sense of duty; their part done, they no longer even shared the same tower.
I frowned. Could I do that with Lena? Take her and squire her away, separate myself from her by miles of stones and halls between us?
When I thought of touching her body, it was not out of a sense of duty either. I wanted to imprint my scent on her flesh, wanted to let it be known to one and all that the female was mine and mine alone.
Alwyn shrugged. “Ragoth, if what you feel runs deeper than it should, do not return to her. Cut ties now. It is not fair to you or to her.”
There was so much my brother still didn’t know. Not only was Lena not of Olympus, she was human. Not even dragonborne.
So much of who I was as a people I still didn’t know; I wouldn’t know all of it until my pledging. I’d not known I couldn’t kiss her, but what if it was more than that? Could a dragonborne and a human even bond? What was it that I felt?
My brother didn’t speak another word, simply turned and returned to his room. I walked over to my window, brain fogged by exhaustion and questions. So, so many questions.
Maybe I should leave her. If I could never have her, then what was the point of continuing to spend time together? But then all I had to do was think about her coming nuptials to the king and I wanted to choke something. Wanted to rend it limb from limb with my sharp, vicious teeth.
Grinding my jaw, I watched as the sun set, watched as the goddess Nyx floated over the sky, bringing her darkness with her. Watched as the night twinkled with the light of millions of stars, and felt frozen by indecision.
Only a few hours ago I was sure I had no choice but to release her. Now, I couldn’t seem to stop shivering at the thought of it.
“What if Alwyn lied?” I whispered to the breeze.
In an instant I knew I was no longer alone in my room. The pressure of
You’re not as smart as Alwyn. As brave as Alwyn. As handsome as Alwyn. Why can’t you be more like your brother, he’s such a good dragon...
But I was less interested in hoarding treasures and stones, the only thing that brought me joy in this life was lying beside a girl who glowed blue as I watched her speak to the birds in the trees and smile as she told me of her day.
But I couldn’t shake the gnawing worry now. What if I couldn’t disrupt this binding of hers to the king, would I become mad like old uncle Jayks?
No, I would not even think on that. I would break their pact, one way or another. I had to, there was simply no other choice for me in the matter.
Instead of fury or disgust, there was pity for me shining in his golden eyes. “Then you are a fool.”
Maybe I was, but asking me to walk away from Lena was the same as asking him to cut out his heart and hand it to me. One could not survive without the other.
“Why did you reject our parents’ match?” I’d never had a chance to ask him.
Inhaling deeply, he stared out the window and said in monotone, “I was not ready for that level of responsibility. And I did not love her.”
“What is love other than a petty emotion?” I responded to him as our father had often done to us. But no sooner had I said it than I felt the wrongness of it.
His eyes were thoughtful when he turned them to me. “You want this woman. Why?”
I knew what he was getting at. Wondering if I loved my Lena. And the only answer I had was, “I don’t know. I claimed her years ago.”
“And what is that, if not love?” he asked simply.
My brother was seldom given to maudlin fancy, so to hear him speak of this, it actually had me thinking. Did I love her? Were those the emotions I felt?
I thought of my parents and how cold, how distant their union was. It’d been one of convenience, of uniting two houses and making them stronger for it. Alwyn and I had been conceived out of a sense of duty; their part done, they no longer even shared the same tower.
I frowned. Could I do that with Lena? Take her and squire her away, separate myself from her by miles of stones and halls between us?
When I thought of touching her body, it was not out of a sense of duty either. I wanted to imprint my scent on her flesh, wanted to let it be known to one and all that the female was mine and mine alone.
Alwyn shrugged. “Ragoth, if what you feel runs deeper than it should, do not return to her. Cut ties now. It is not fair to you or to her.”
There was so much my brother still didn’t know. Not only was Lena not of Olympus, she was human. Not even dragonborne.
So much of who I was as a people I still didn’t know; I wouldn’t know all of it until my pledging. I’d not known I couldn’t kiss her, but what if it was more than that? Could a dragonborne and a human even bond? What was it that I felt?
My brother didn’t speak another word, simply turned and returned to his room. I walked over to my window, brain fogged by exhaustion and questions. So, so many questions.
Maybe I should leave her. If I could never have her, then what was the point of continuing to spend time together? But then all I had to do was think about her coming nuptials to the king and I wanted to choke something. Wanted to rend it limb from limb with my sharp, vicious teeth.
Grinding my jaw, I watched as the sun set, watched as the goddess Nyx floated over the sky, bringing her darkness with her. Watched as the night twinkled with the light of millions of stars, and felt frozen by indecision.
Only a few hours ago I was sure I had no choice but to release her. Now, I couldn’t seem to stop shivering at the thought of it.
“What if Alwyn lied?” I whispered to the breeze.
In an instant I knew I was no longer alone in my room. The pressure of
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