My Side by Norah McClintock

doesn’t come back to school. There’s a rumor going around that her parents are homeschooling her, but I never find out if it’s true because I can never get up the nerve to ask anyone how she is doing, not after that first time when I approach John, my whole body shaking, to ask if he’s seen her around.
    He looks down at me. His face is hard and mean.
    â€œYou think I’m going to say anything about her?” His voice is as hard as his face. “Why did you have to drag me into it?”
    I feel my cheeks ignite like a bushfire in a drought. Kids, caught by the sharpness of his voice, have turned to look. One of them is Kayla. She smirks at me. I slink away. Really, I wish I could run away and never come back.
    Kids don’t talk to me. They don’t give me a hard time, but they don’t go out of their way to talk to me either. It’s as if they’ve decided, after they all had their big laugh at Addie’s expense, that I am beneath contempt. At first I’m enraged. Who do they think they are? They were never her friends. They never cut her any slack. They never made any effort to get to know her.
    And they laughed.
    They all watched that video—no way they can tell me they didn’t—and they talked about it with other kids. And they had a good laugh.
    Now they’re judging me ?
    I wait and wait for my case to be disposed of, as the lawyer likes to put it. It takes forever.
    â€œNot like tv, is it?” the lawyer says, smiling for what is probably the first time ever.
    Finally, weeks and weeks later, he tells me he’s set up a meeting with the school board’s lawyer and that if all goes well, I will probably get away with a suspended sentence. He adds that letting time go by means letting tempers cool— something he can say only because he hasn’t been walking around at my school in my skin this whole time.
    â€œBy the way,” he says, “all the court orders remain in effect until that time. I don’t want any surprises, okay, Neely? And trust me, neither do you.”
    The meeting is three days away when Addie walks into Mr. Grayson’s class.
    I feel everyone’s eyes go to her and then to me.
    I feel her eyes search me out.
    I feel the heat rise in my cheeks. I want to look at her, but I can’t make myself do it. It’s been months. She took out a restraining order against me. She obviously thinks I’m the one who was behind what happened. She hates me.
    Still, I want to talk to her. At least, that’s what I tell myself. But no matter how many times I try to lift my eyes, I can’t make myself do it. It’s been too long. Too much water has gone under the bridge, as my grandpa would say. Addie thinks I did that horrible thing to her. She actually believes I’m behind it. She thinks I’m a monster.
    What I really am, right at this moment, is a coward. When the bell rings, I flee, even though I know Kayla and Jen and Shayna will laugh at me for it. I tell myself that when it’s all over, I’ll go to Addie and tell her exactly what happened. I tell myself I’ll do it even though I’m pretty sure she won’t believe me. I have to set the record straight, don’t I?
    I’ll swallow the shame and, yes, the anger I feel—how could she believe I would do such a thing?—and I’ll tell her exactly what happened. She can choose whether or not she wants to believe me.
    In the meantime, I flee. I go to my locker. I ignore the whispers I hear behind me. I know perfectly well who it is—Kayla and Jen and Shayna. I ignore the looks of the other kids too. I ignore them all.
    And then I catch a glimpse of her—Addie—out of the corner of my eye. She’s staring at me, and I know what she’s thinking. I wish she’d come up to me, but she doesn’t. Good old Addie, still chicken even after all of this. She watches me, thinking the worst of me, and