long tunnel that makes the noise seem endless. Are you feeling afraid? It would be perfectly natural.’
‘I’m nervous,’ she admitted, ‘but not terrified.’ It was somehow impossible to feel as frightened of the elements as she felt of Paul himself if he should suddenly change towards her, revealing the black hatred that gnawed at his heart and would go on gnawing until he could assuage it.
‘Now you know, mevrouw, why I wished to have a sensible woman here and not a romantic girl. Islands are not always idyllic places, such as they are made out to be in the travel brochures, and I really don’t fancy a frightened young thing on my hands if we are in for a typhoon and the winds starts ripping trees out of the ground and causing quite a bit of hell to break loose.’ He pronged oyster on to a fork and gave his twist of a smile. ‘I’m not exactly equipped to play knight errant, and that is what romantic girls expect, chivalry and the firm arm of protection. You are a woman past all that, eh?’
‘Of course,’ said Merlin, and gave him a petrified look. It was all too tragically easy to fool a blind man, to assume the serene manner of an older woman, and a more deliberate way of walking. Of having flowers about the house, and making sure the boys kept the rooms free of dust—something they had not been too scrupulous about before her arrival. Also those old songs she played for him helped a great deal to establish her as a woman long out of touch with the modern trends in popular music. She had, to put it crudely, pulled the wool over his eyes, but when his cousin returned from Holland ... oh God, she didn’t want to think about that, but if she were exposed then she could only pray that he would accept the explanation that she had wanted the job so much that she hadn’t thought it would matter if she let him believe that she was in her sensible forties. They had now been working together for several weeks and it would delay work on the book if he angrily dismissed her and sought another secretary.
She didn’t want to leave him ... that was at the heart and root of everything. Life would have no meaning at all if she couldn’t see him each day, hear his voice and do his bidding. Stolen fruit, both bitter and sweet, and which he’d choke her with if he ever learned the real truth of her identity.
‘You have gone very quiet, mevrouw, and the foliage of the trees is rattling all the harder. Or is it your knees knocking?’
She smiled. ‘I’m not going to pretend that I haven’t got the jitters, mynheer, but this is a soundly built house and I’m ready to face what the fates have in store for me.’
‘Fatalistic, eh? You believe, do you, that is what is written on your scroll will assuredly come to pass? It’s a view I find hard to swallow.’
‘Why is that, mynheer?’
‘I don’t happen to find it terribly amusing that it was written I should come to this, cut off from my life’s work, unable to function at what I did best, and all because of some damned little nurse who thought I should be taught a lesson for not taking sufficient notice of her.’
‘Oh, do you really believe that?’ Merlin’s face was a picture of pain. ‘I’m sure it must have been an accident— no one—no woman would be that cruel!’
‘You weren’t there!’ he said curtly. ‘How would you know? You are a woman who has kept apart from the complexity of passions that certain other people indulge in. I once had the task of trying to restore a face at which a woman had flung a kerosene lamp ... impossible to imagine, is it not, and yet it happened. Passion can be a force motivated by the devil himself ... I wanted to destroy that woman as she destroyed my eyes, and that was one of the reasons why I came halfway across the world to live ... to try and forget. It isn’t easy. I am not Saint Paul.’
He rose to his feet as he spoke and went to the veranda rail, where he stood in a listening attitude, his brows
‘I’m nervous,’ she admitted, ‘but not terrified.’ It was somehow impossible to feel as frightened of the elements as she felt of Paul himself if he should suddenly change towards her, revealing the black hatred that gnawed at his heart and would go on gnawing until he could assuage it.
‘Now you know, mevrouw, why I wished to have a sensible woman here and not a romantic girl. Islands are not always idyllic places, such as they are made out to be in the travel brochures, and I really don’t fancy a frightened young thing on my hands if we are in for a typhoon and the winds starts ripping trees out of the ground and causing quite a bit of hell to break loose.’ He pronged oyster on to a fork and gave his twist of a smile. ‘I’m not exactly equipped to play knight errant, and that is what romantic girls expect, chivalry and the firm arm of protection. You are a woman past all that, eh?’
‘Of course,’ said Merlin, and gave him a petrified look. It was all too tragically easy to fool a blind man, to assume the serene manner of an older woman, and a more deliberate way of walking. Of having flowers about the house, and making sure the boys kept the rooms free of dust—something they had not been too scrupulous about before her arrival. Also those old songs she played for him helped a great deal to establish her as a woman long out of touch with the modern trends in popular music. She had, to put it crudely, pulled the wool over his eyes, but when his cousin returned from Holland ... oh God, she didn’t want to think about that, but if she were exposed then she could only pray that he would accept the explanation that she had wanted the job so much that she hadn’t thought it would matter if she let him believe that she was in her sensible forties. They had now been working together for several weeks and it would delay work on the book if he angrily dismissed her and sought another secretary.
She didn’t want to leave him ... that was at the heart and root of everything. Life would have no meaning at all if she couldn’t see him each day, hear his voice and do his bidding. Stolen fruit, both bitter and sweet, and which he’d choke her with if he ever learned the real truth of her identity.
‘You have gone very quiet, mevrouw, and the foliage of the trees is rattling all the harder. Or is it your knees knocking?’
She smiled. ‘I’m not going to pretend that I haven’t got the jitters, mynheer, but this is a soundly built house and I’m ready to face what the fates have in store for me.’
‘Fatalistic, eh? You believe, do you, that is what is written on your scroll will assuredly come to pass? It’s a view I find hard to swallow.’
‘Why is that, mynheer?’
‘I don’t happen to find it terribly amusing that it was written I should come to this, cut off from my life’s work, unable to function at what I did best, and all because of some damned little nurse who thought I should be taught a lesson for not taking sufficient notice of her.’
‘Oh, do you really believe that?’ Merlin’s face was a picture of pain. ‘I’m sure it must have been an accident— no one—no woman would be that cruel!’
‘You weren’t there!’ he said curtly. ‘How would you know? You are a woman who has kept apart from the complexity of passions that certain other people indulge in. I once had the task of trying to restore a face at which a woman had flung a kerosene lamp ... impossible to imagine, is it not, and yet it happened. Passion can be a force motivated by the devil himself ... I wanted to destroy that woman as she destroyed my eyes, and that was one of the reasons why I came halfway across the world to live ... to try and forget. It isn’t easy. I am not Saint Paul.’
He rose to his feet as he spoke and went to the veranda rail, where he stood in a listening attitude, his brows
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