smile. âI want to say thanks, Tony, for telling Cathy what you did.â
âNo worries.â I throw Kane an âI told you soâ look.
Then Ashleigh turns to Kane. âA bunch of us are seeing a movie tonight, at the plaza. I was kinda hoping you might â¦â
âWhat?â he says.
âWhat?â I say.
âShhh,â says Cath y. âLet her finish.â
âI was hoping you might wanna, umm, go with ⦠me?â
âWhat?â I say.
âShhh,â says Cathy. âLet Kane answer.â
Kane gives me a little smirk, and then says to Ashleigh, âThatâd be wicked.â
Itâs quiet for a moment. I still donât know exactly whatâs going on.
âGo on!â Cathy nudges Ashleigh.
She steps forward and gives Kane a quick kiss on the cheek. âSee you tonight, then.â
âCanât wait,â he says.
I pinch myself, hoping Iâll wake up.
âHey, nosy,â Cathy says to me. âGet your chin off your chest. Havenât you seen anyone kiss before?â
She and Ashleigh giggle, and then theyâre gone.
âGee, Rossy,â says Kane. âYour girlfriend really likes me.â He starts cracking up.
After chucking the ball at his head â and missing â I take off. I have to tell Gavin that he owes me 50 bucks. I need to start saving up. Nose jobs arenât cheap, you know.
Iâm surprised to find him talking to Mr Relf. Or should I say, Mr Relf is talking to Gavin.
âAnd then when I cross-checked your test with Kevin McMahonâs, I noticed that you both had exactly the same answers. You even made the same mistake on the challenge question. This leads me to believe there is a high probability that one of you cheated.â
âWhy would Brains cheat?â asks Gavin. âHeâs smart.â
Mr Relf raises an eyebrow.
âYou donât mean â¦â Gavin puts his hands on his hips. âI so did not cheat off Brains! I swear to God.â
âOkay then,â says Mr Relf. âTell me the formula for the area of a triangle?â
Gavin looks confused. âUmm ⦠PS4 times Xbox?â
I slink off. Probably best if Gavin and Relfy sort out this little misunderstanding between themselves , I reckon.
For a while I wander aimlessly around the school, but then I find myself outside the library and I think, why not? If Iâm just as smart as Brains at triangles, maybe I can even beat him at chess?
At least we can complain about girls together.
How to Write a Love Letter
Ashleighâs single again.
Kane dumped her because ⦠well, heâs Kane. This is my big chance to ask her out, but even though Iâm desperate, I donât want to talk to Ashleigh face-to-face.
You see, Iâm not good at speaking, especially under pressure. Yesterday in my SOSE oral I called Captain Cook âCaptain Hookâ.
Miss Mason said that if Captain Hook discovered Australia the convicts wouldâve eaten a lot more fish.
I hate it when teachers try to be funny.
When Iâm at home, in front of the mirror, I can talk real smooth. But when I get near girls my brain turns to mush. If I had a flip-top scalp you could suck it out with a straw. A brain shake.
I just need a way of making Ashleigh see what Iâm really like. Well, not what Iâm really like, but what Iâm like sometimes. Well, occasionally.
I lie on my bed, trying to think up a plan for how Iâm going to get through to her. I grab my pillow and pretend itâs Ashleigh, squeezing her to my rock-hard chest before pulling her close to my face.
Yuck! Ashleigh smells like methane gas.
Simon!
My little bro is always doing annoying things like stinking up my pillow, and Iâm always getting him back. Although, weâve done so many bad things to each other itâs hard to know whoâs getting who back, and for what. Last week I put shaving cream on his hand while he
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