now and woo her and jump in her bed once again, but what I’m saying is be there for that woman. You know that news travels mighty fast around here, so I already know what happened at that church earlier. The last thing she needs is to feel that you are just there because you pity her, but I honestly feel like she married the wrong man, and he took advantage of her already brokenness and used it to his advantage. Remember though, that God still sits high and looks low so you better believe Drew will get what’s coming to him.
She needs you, son. Just pray and ask God to guide you during this time. There may be a piece of paper that says she is married to Drew, but that is the only thing that connects them. You are connected to her heart and her spirit.” And with that, she stood up and kissed me on my cheek.
“Thanks Ma and Pops. I love you.”
“I love you too, baby. Now get out. Your father and I have things to tend to, if you know what I mean,” she said, winking at my dad.
“Eeww, y’all nasty.”
“Yep. Just the way I like it,” my dad said, standing and moving towards my mother.
“I’m out!” I said, moving as fast as I could to the front door as they laughed.
Chapter Twelve
Jewel
All I could do was sit in our driveway and cry for hours and hours. Not one of those ugly cries that women do when the pain is fresh and unexpected. I mean one of those silent cries. The ones where your mind couldn’t process the betrayal or hurt that was so deep in your being. The one that you cried when you already expected the pain to hit but didn’t know that it could hurt as bad as it did. Where the only two functions that your body could remember to do was to breathe and let the tears fall. You feel nothing but emptiness and just wanting out. Wanting out of the emotional bondage but feeling like in some crazy way you needed that bondage in order to survive.
When you didn’t want to hear someone say, “God is still in control. Just let Him have His way.”
Instead, you wanted to hear them tell you that it was ok to be mad at God because He let this happen. And scream and curse everybody out who told you that everything would be just fine.
Everything would not be just fine. The man that I gave my heart and innocence to had gone back on the promises he made to me in front of God and our loved ones. He had something that no other man had ever gotten. Something so precious that should have been handled with care, but instead was thrown away like last week’s garbage.
As selfish as it sounded, I just wanted God to take me away from this misery and this hell I was living on earth. At this very moment, I understood why people gave up when everything they worked so hard for came crashing down around them. I was broken, and my being couldn’t take any more of the disappointments.
I had sat in this car so long that it was now dark outside. Avery kept peeking her head out of the door and window every thirty minutes or so checking on me. I could only imagine what was going through my children’s minds right now, but I didn’t have anything comforting to say to them. It may have been selfish of me, but I honestly couldn’t form any reasonable explanation to give them nor did I want to.
Looking over at the fluorescent numbers on my radio display showed me that I had been sitting in my car for the last four hours, and I didn’t plan on getting out anytime soon. I honestly wanted to drive until my eyes got heavy and sleep consumed me and then death took over, but I knew that would be unfair to the girls. Their father had already taken so much from them, and I wasn’t going to add to that. I had to find a way to get past this so that I could be there for them. They were really all that I had left and the only positive outcome to this madness.
I sat back and thought about when I placed that call to the hotel a few days ago and found out that my husband had canceled his reservations, unlike the lie he told me
She needs you, son. Just pray and ask God to guide you during this time. There may be a piece of paper that says she is married to Drew, but that is the only thing that connects them. You are connected to her heart and her spirit.” And with that, she stood up and kissed me on my cheek.
“Thanks Ma and Pops. I love you.”
“I love you too, baby. Now get out. Your father and I have things to tend to, if you know what I mean,” she said, winking at my dad.
“Eeww, y’all nasty.”
“Yep. Just the way I like it,” my dad said, standing and moving towards my mother.
“I’m out!” I said, moving as fast as I could to the front door as they laughed.
Chapter Twelve
Jewel
All I could do was sit in our driveway and cry for hours and hours. Not one of those ugly cries that women do when the pain is fresh and unexpected. I mean one of those silent cries. The ones where your mind couldn’t process the betrayal or hurt that was so deep in your being. The one that you cried when you already expected the pain to hit but didn’t know that it could hurt as bad as it did. Where the only two functions that your body could remember to do was to breathe and let the tears fall. You feel nothing but emptiness and just wanting out. Wanting out of the emotional bondage but feeling like in some crazy way you needed that bondage in order to survive.
When you didn’t want to hear someone say, “God is still in control. Just let Him have His way.”
Instead, you wanted to hear them tell you that it was ok to be mad at God because He let this happen. And scream and curse everybody out who told you that everything would be just fine.
Everything would not be just fine. The man that I gave my heart and innocence to had gone back on the promises he made to me in front of God and our loved ones. He had something that no other man had ever gotten. Something so precious that should have been handled with care, but instead was thrown away like last week’s garbage.
As selfish as it sounded, I just wanted God to take me away from this misery and this hell I was living on earth. At this very moment, I understood why people gave up when everything they worked so hard for came crashing down around them. I was broken, and my being couldn’t take any more of the disappointments.
I had sat in this car so long that it was now dark outside. Avery kept peeking her head out of the door and window every thirty minutes or so checking on me. I could only imagine what was going through my children’s minds right now, but I didn’t have anything comforting to say to them. It may have been selfish of me, but I honestly couldn’t form any reasonable explanation to give them nor did I want to.
Looking over at the fluorescent numbers on my radio display showed me that I had been sitting in my car for the last four hours, and I didn’t plan on getting out anytime soon. I honestly wanted to drive until my eyes got heavy and sleep consumed me and then death took over, but I knew that would be unfair to the girls. Their father had already taken so much from them, and I wasn’t going to add to that. I had to find a way to get past this so that I could be there for them. They were really all that I had left and the only positive outcome to this madness.
I sat back and thought about when I placed that call to the hotel a few days ago and found out that my husband had canceled his reservations, unlike the lie he told me
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