The Pixilated Peeress by L. Sprague de Camp, Catherine Crook de Camp

dirty linens from our travels, which I am taking to the washerwoman."
     
                  " 'Twould require a journey to Pantorozia and back, not a day's fishing, to accumulate so much wash," said the mage doubtfully.
     
                  "Cannot be helped. Now we shall catch a wink of slumber." Thorolf pulled off his boots. "Luckily the bed is big enough for the twain. You're not the bedmate I should have chosen; but if you thrash about not, we shall manage."
     
    -
     
                  With the first dawnlight, Thorolf yawned, stret ched, and came fully awake. He found Bardi already up, sitting on the dressing chair and trimming his fingernails. Tho rolf pulled on his boots, saying:
     
                  "I'm off, Doctor, and may be gone some small time. You shall remain to guard the door and keep Yvette company whilst I seek the needfuls. For reasons I need not recapitulate, I expect you to pay for these pur chases."
     
                  "Such a mercenary springald!" grumpe d Bardi. "A warrior true is a reckless spendthrift."
     
                  "I profess not to be a warrior true; I save to pay for the professors' fees when I study for my doctorate. And tell that to my father, who ever chides me on my lack of proper Rhaetian rapacity! So pay me now!" With a menacing scowl, Thorolf presented his palm.
     
                  "Dear me!" Grumbling, Bardi fumbled in his purse. "How much?"
     
                  "Ten marks should cover."
     
                  "But what shall I do for food?" queried the an cient. "Your Countess, likewise, will require aliment."
     
                  "You could climb into the tub and let her breakfast on you, if your tissues prove not too tough and stringy."
     
                  "Now who makes jokes in ill-taste? I'm sure she would find a plump fish more to her liking."
     
                  "I'll fetch you a bun and the Countess a fish, " said Thorolf. "I'll tell Vasco that my lady be ill of a con tagious disease, wherefor you are treating her; and his folk must on no account enter herein. That is no great falsehood, either."
     
                  "One thing more," said Bardi. "The polyp, I infer, is a creat ure of the sea. When ye fill this other tub, add a spoonful of salt, for your lady's health."
     
    -
     
                  Noon was nigh when Thorolf returned. He handed Bardi his bun, unwrapped a carp, and dropped it into the tub. A tentacle whipped the fish out of sight beneath the umbrella of arms.
     
                  When mage and monster had finished their repasts, Thorolf gathered up the sheet and dipped it into the water. With Bardi's help, he spread it out on the floor and motioned Yvette to climb out on it.
     
                  She seemed reluctant to leave the water but at last appeared to grasp the idea. Over the edge she came, first writhing tentacles, then slit-pupiled eyes, and at last the bulky, boneless bag of a body. She coiled her self into a mottled brown lump on the s h eet, watching Thorolf with unwinking stare as he made a small bun dle of Yvette's garments, borrowed from Vulfilac the smith.
     
                  Thorolf gathered the corners of the sheet and tied them together into a bag . He picked up the improvised sa ck .
     
                  "Is she heavy?" asked Bardi.
     
                  "No more than when she was human, which is to say a little above a hundred. Come along!"
     
                  They went down with Thorolf cradling the bundle. Vasco appeared, saying: "How doth your lady, Ser geant? Ye told me she ailed."
     
                  "Much better now, t hanks to Doctor Bardi. She's al ready gone forth. The good Doctor will pay the scot, and your sheet shall be returned on the morrow."
     
                  Thorolf strode out,