to yours,” he said evenly.
“Oh, please. What hopeless love had you lost?”
“Not love. Not that kind of love. But I have...lost.”
She understood then. “Your friend. Your American friend...”
That did it. His eyes went flat. Whatever opening she’d had with him, so briefly, was completely gone. His mind and heart were shut tight against her.
He said, “I’ll tell you once more. We needed to be married. That’s the end of it as far as I’m concerned. We can stay married and lead our own separate lives. Or not. That will be your choice.”
“I do not believe this is happening.”
“Believe it,” he said.
“You’re a liar.”
He didn’t even flinch. “Call me what you will.”
“I thought that... Well, as much as I’ve always disliked your judgmental pronouncements and superior attitude toward me, I held on to the belief that you were a man of integrity. That your word was your bond. Never would I have pegged you as someone who would lie outright, who would make a bargain and then renege on it without a second thought. But I see I was wrong. I see that I’ve married a man who will blithely lie if he thinks a lie is ‘necessary.’ I can’t even trust you to keep your word. And if I can’t trust you to keep your word, Alex, what is the point of even trying with you?”
He tipped his big head to the side and asked, “Is that a real question?”
“Yes, of course it is.”
“Then here’s your answer, Lili. There is no point in trying with me. Stop wasting your breath and your overwrought emotions. Good night.” And with that, he turned on his heel and left her.
She didn’t try to stop him that time. She knew he would only shake off her grip and keep walking.
Yes, she did long to trail after him. She hated giving up. Even now, when he’d made it so achingly clear that he was never going to be a real husband to her, she wanted to follow him, to confront him again, to insist that he talk with her, that he come to some sort of real understanding with her. And failing understanding, she longed to call him any number of horrible names and perhaps throw some small, heavy figurine at his head.
But then she thought of her mother who would never resort to screaming fits or tantrums or displays of violence. Her beloved, lost mum never even had to raise her voice to get her man’s attention. Lili thought of her baby who deserved a mother in command of her emotions. She said a prayer for patience to the Holy Virgin. And she told herself that if she had nothing else at that moment, she had her dignity.
And then she went to the bedroom Alex was apparently never going to share with her and got out her electronic reading device and read a long, delicious romance. In that romance the heroine was fearless and clever and so very resourceful, a woman who saved her hero’s life when they were stranded in the jungle. The handsome, wealthy hero thought he knew everything. At first. There was lovely, snappy dialogue and things got pretty rough for the two of them. Lili almost worried that they wouldn’t end up together. But by the end, love saved the day. The pair settled down to share a lifetime of wedded happiness.
Life should be more like a romance novel. Lili truly believed that.
She put her e-reader away and turned out the light and did her best not to think about Alex, about how she probably should have guessed what he was up to when he promised to try and make a real marriage with her. After all, she’d known him her whole life. He’d been the bane of her existence for as long as she could remember. He’d been telling her not to be a fool, not to be so silly, not to make up stories, not to cry and carry on since...well, since forever.
Leopards don’t make a habit of changing their spots. And Alex wasn’t going to change. Except in the ways he’d already changed after his near-death experiences in Afghanistan—which was to become even more difficult and distant and surly than before.
She
“Oh, please. What hopeless love had you lost?”
“Not love. Not that kind of love. But I have...lost.”
She understood then. “Your friend. Your American friend...”
That did it. His eyes went flat. Whatever opening she’d had with him, so briefly, was completely gone. His mind and heart were shut tight against her.
He said, “I’ll tell you once more. We needed to be married. That’s the end of it as far as I’m concerned. We can stay married and lead our own separate lives. Or not. That will be your choice.”
“I do not believe this is happening.”
“Believe it,” he said.
“You’re a liar.”
He didn’t even flinch. “Call me what you will.”
“I thought that... Well, as much as I’ve always disliked your judgmental pronouncements and superior attitude toward me, I held on to the belief that you were a man of integrity. That your word was your bond. Never would I have pegged you as someone who would lie outright, who would make a bargain and then renege on it without a second thought. But I see I was wrong. I see that I’ve married a man who will blithely lie if he thinks a lie is ‘necessary.’ I can’t even trust you to keep your word. And if I can’t trust you to keep your word, Alex, what is the point of even trying with you?”
He tipped his big head to the side and asked, “Is that a real question?”
“Yes, of course it is.”
“Then here’s your answer, Lili. There is no point in trying with me. Stop wasting your breath and your overwrought emotions. Good night.” And with that, he turned on his heel and left her.
She didn’t try to stop him that time. She knew he would only shake off her grip and keep walking.
Yes, she did long to trail after him. She hated giving up. Even now, when he’d made it so achingly clear that he was never going to be a real husband to her, she wanted to follow him, to confront him again, to insist that he talk with her, that he come to some sort of real understanding with her. And failing understanding, she longed to call him any number of horrible names and perhaps throw some small, heavy figurine at his head.
But then she thought of her mother who would never resort to screaming fits or tantrums or displays of violence. Her beloved, lost mum never even had to raise her voice to get her man’s attention. Lili thought of her baby who deserved a mother in command of her emotions. She said a prayer for patience to the Holy Virgin. And she told herself that if she had nothing else at that moment, she had her dignity.
And then she went to the bedroom Alex was apparently never going to share with her and got out her electronic reading device and read a long, delicious romance. In that romance the heroine was fearless and clever and so very resourceful, a woman who saved her hero’s life when they were stranded in the jungle. The handsome, wealthy hero thought he knew everything. At first. There was lovely, snappy dialogue and things got pretty rough for the two of them. Lili almost worried that they wouldn’t end up together. But by the end, love saved the day. The pair settled down to share a lifetime of wedded happiness.
Life should be more like a romance novel. Lili truly believed that.
She put her e-reader away and turned out the light and did her best not to think about Alex, about how she probably should have guessed what he was up to when he promised to try and make a real marriage with her. After all, she’d known him her whole life. He’d been the bane of her existence for as long as she could remember. He’d been telling her not to be a fool, not to be so silly, not to make up stories, not to cry and carry on since...well, since forever.
Leopards don’t make a habit of changing their spots. And Alex wasn’t going to change. Except in the ways he’d already changed after his near-death experiences in Afghanistan—which was to become even more difficult and distant and surly than before.
She
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