any. “ I ’ m okay. Is there anything I can help with? ”
“ Sure. I ’ ve got some cabbage in the fridge that still needs chopped — can you handle that? ”
“ Of course. ” I wash my hands and grab the cabbage while my mom starts asking me questions about my upcoming finals. The answers roll off my tongue with little thought. There ’ s enough room on the counter for me to situate myself just beside her and I settle into a grove as we prep together. She must notice my lack of enthusiasm for her chosen conversation topic because it ’ s not too long before she taps her hip against mine, causing me to focus my attention on her.
“ What ’ s on your mind? ” she asks, her eyes warm and inviting in that look only a mother can convey.
“ Beckham, ” I confess without a moment ’ s hesitation. I feel relieved simply by uttering his name; it opens the door that has been holding back all of my anxiety and confusion.
“ What about that sweetheart of yours has you so preoccupied? ”
“ He said some things … I don ’ t know. I ’ m just worried we ’ re not on the same page right now. ”
“ How do you mean? ” she asks, folding her arms across her chest. While it might look like an act of intimidation, I can tell she ’ s simply pulling her hands away from her task so that she can focus all of her attention on me. I mimic her gesture and fill her in on the conversation Beck and I had the previous Sunday. When I ’ m finished, she offers me a nod. I can tell that she ’ s processing what I ’ ve said, so I wait for her to find the words she wishes to speak. “ I know you two have talked about getting married, but there is no rush for you to do it right now. ”
“ I ’ m not talking about right now , I ’ m talking about a year from now. ” I hear the defensiveness in my tone, but I can ’ t help it. Is she taking his side?
“ And I understand that. With the direction your lives are moving, it would certainly be convenient for you to plan to be married next summer. ” I relax a bit, comforted that she understands where I ’ m coming from. “ But Addie, you ’ ve got to let him take the lead on this one. ”
My shoulders slump in disappointment. She is taking his side . It never really crossed my mind that she would. Then again, that ’ s probably because I didn ’ t want her to. I ’ ve spent all week with the mindset that I ’ m right — that getting engaged sooner than later and married before he heads to medical school is the best plan. I still stand by that timeline — but I ’ m, apparently, the only one who thinks that way.
“ Oh, honey, ” she coos as she cups her hands around my cheeks. Her touch draws my eyes back up to meet hers. “ I know that ’ s not what you wanted to hear. I can tell. The truth is, you can ’ t rush a man into marriage. If he ’ s not ready, you have to be okay with that. ”
Her words sting and the tears that fill my eyes take me by surprise. “ How could he not be ready? If he doesn ’ t know by now whether or not he wants to marry me, why are we still together? ”
“ Come now, Addison, now you ’ re just being dramatic, ” she chuckles, pulling me into her arms. I go willingly, knowing she is right. “ He loves you very deeply — just like you love him. Marriage is a big deal, it ’ s a big change, you know that; and you two are still so young. ”
“ You were twenty-two when you got married, ” I mutter against her shoulder.
“ That ’ s not a very solid comeback, my dear, and you know it. You ’ re still only twenty. ”
“ Only for a few more weeks, ” I huff.
“ Well, besides that, you know your father. When he makes his mind up about something, it ’ s made up. Beckham is different — his goals are different, more grandiose. So maybe it takes you two longer to get down the aisle, that doesn ’ t say a single thing about your relationship, except that you aren ’ t rushing. ” I groan as I try and push
“ Sure. I ’ ve got some cabbage in the fridge that still needs chopped — can you handle that? ”
“ Of course. ” I wash my hands and grab the cabbage while my mom starts asking me questions about my upcoming finals. The answers roll off my tongue with little thought. There ’ s enough room on the counter for me to situate myself just beside her and I settle into a grove as we prep together. She must notice my lack of enthusiasm for her chosen conversation topic because it ’ s not too long before she taps her hip against mine, causing me to focus my attention on her.
“ What ’ s on your mind? ” she asks, her eyes warm and inviting in that look only a mother can convey.
“ Beckham, ” I confess without a moment ’ s hesitation. I feel relieved simply by uttering his name; it opens the door that has been holding back all of my anxiety and confusion.
“ What about that sweetheart of yours has you so preoccupied? ”
“ He said some things … I don ’ t know. I ’ m just worried we ’ re not on the same page right now. ”
“ How do you mean? ” she asks, folding her arms across her chest. While it might look like an act of intimidation, I can tell she ’ s simply pulling her hands away from her task so that she can focus all of her attention on me. I mimic her gesture and fill her in on the conversation Beck and I had the previous Sunday. When I ’ m finished, she offers me a nod. I can tell that she ’ s processing what I ’ ve said, so I wait for her to find the words she wishes to speak. “ I know you two have talked about getting married, but there is no rush for you to do it right now. ”
“ I ’ m not talking about right now , I ’ m talking about a year from now. ” I hear the defensiveness in my tone, but I can ’ t help it. Is she taking his side?
“ And I understand that. With the direction your lives are moving, it would certainly be convenient for you to plan to be married next summer. ” I relax a bit, comforted that she understands where I ’ m coming from. “ But Addie, you ’ ve got to let him take the lead on this one. ”
My shoulders slump in disappointment. She is taking his side . It never really crossed my mind that she would. Then again, that ’ s probably because I didn ’ t want her to. I ’ ve spent all week with the mindset that I ’ m right — that getting engaged sooner than later and married before he heads to medical school is the best plan. I still stand by that timeline — but I ’ m, apparently, the only one who thinks that way.
“ Oh, honey, ” she coos as she cups her hands around my cheeks. Her touch draws my eyes back up to meet hers. “ I know that ’ s not what you wanted to hear. I can tell. The truth is, you can ’ t rush a man into marriage. If he ’ s not ready, you have to be okay with that. ”
Her words sting and the tears that fill my eyes take me by surprise. “ How could he not be ready? If he doesn ’ t know by now whether or not he wants to marry me, why are we still together? ”
“ Come now, Addison, now you ’ re just being dramatic, ” she chuckles, pulling me into her arms. I go willingly, knowing she is right. “ He loves you very deeply — just like you love him. Marriage is a big deal, it ’ s a big change, you know that; and you two are still so young. ”
“ You were twenty-two when you got married, ” I mutter against her shoulder.
“ That ’ s not a very solid comeback, my dear, and you know it. You ’ re still only twenty. ”
“ Only for a few more weeks, ” I huff.
“ Well, besides that, you know your father. When he makes his mind up about something, it ’ s made up. Beckham is different — his goals are different, more grandiose. So maybe it takes you two longer to get down the aisle, that doesn ’ t say a single thing about your relationship, except that you aren ’ t rushing. ” I groan as I try and push
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