staring at the worn carpet and the unidentified stains on the flattened pile. “I can’t. I just can’t.” As I move to walk away, he grabs my wrist.
A sincere smile crosses his lips. “You have no idea how much you mean to me, do you?”
“I didn’t mean all that much in the past.”
He laughs, but I don’t look back at him. I sit on the corner of the bed and stare at the ugly painting on the wall. It should have been a happy scene but time and sunlight faded a once bright spot. The paper is yellowed and the frame is chipped. The screws holding it to the wall don’t help either. “You’ve always been so good at lying, Hallie. Especially when it comes to lying to yourself.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Bullshit! Hallie, look at me!” Bryan is standing by my shoulder and I hear him let out a rush of air. I assume that he’s annoyed with me until I see his reflection in the glass on the frame. His face is contorted and he’s clutching his head so hard that I can see every muscle in his body.
I whirl around and jump to my feet. My hands hover above him as if I shouldn’t touch him. “What’s wrong? Bryan?” I’m nearly crying as I watch him tremble and try to breathe, but his ribs barely move. He reaches out for the bed and sits down hard, clutching his head between his hands.
He stays like that, trying so hard to just breathe, that it kills me. I pull on his shirt and race out into the parking lot barefoot when I’m sure he’s not going to die and look for the pills, but the pavement is wet and they’ve melted. Tears stream from my eyes. I had no idea. Something’s wrong with him and I didn’t know. I thought he was partying, and acting like a fucking junkie so I made him toss his medicine.
And he did.
For me.
His voice is weak, behind me, as I try to pick up a pill that’s melting into nothing. “Leave it.”
“I didn’t know!” I’m crying. The pill turns to paste in my fingers. Before I can go for another one, he grabs my shoulders and turns me toward him.
“I knew.” His voice is trembling and tight. He can barely breathe. “I need to sit down. Come inside.”
Bryan throws his arm over my shoulder and we walk back to the bed. He laughs and then grimaces quickly. “I shouldn’t have ridden you like that, but it was worth it. You’ve always been worth it, Hallie.”
CHAPTER 16
Bryan is writhing on the bed and in so much pain that tears stream down his cheeks. He won’t let me take him to the hospital. He keeps saying they can’t do anything, but I can’t watch him like this. “Who else knows?”
“No one.” He manages the words in short breathes between clenched teeth as his back rises off the mattress again. His hands are balled into fists at his sides as another groan escapes him.
“I need to get you r medicine, tell me where to get them.” I’m frantic. He’s gotten so much worse, so fast. The movement, the time he was with me must have made it worse, because he’s so close to screaming out in pure agony that I can’t stand it.
“Jon.” That’s all he says.
Fuck. I hate Jon. Why couldn’t he say Trystan? I nod and grab his phone, scroll through his contacts and find Jon Ferro. I dial and wait forever for him to pick up. “Hey shithead, are you still chasing that thing you nailed in high school?”
“I am that thing he nailed in high s chool. Listen, Bryan is in a lot of pain. His medicine is gone and he needs some now—like right now.”
For a second I think he’s hung up, but then he asks, “Where are you?” I tell him. “Fuck. I thought you were in jail. Shit, Hallie, shit! Get him wasted until I get there, and do NOT take him to the hospital.” That’s all Jon says before he hangs up.
I put the phone back on the nightstand and cross the room. Most of the booze Bryan brought is gone, but there’s some vodka left. I pour it into a plastic cup and bring it to him. “Here, drink this. It’ll help a little
A sincere smile crosses his lips. “You have no idea how much you mean to me, do you?”
“I didn’t mean all that much in the past.”
He laughs, but I don’t look back at him. I sit on the corner of the bed and stare at the ugly painting on the wall. It should have been a happy scene but time and sunlight faded a once bright spot. The paper is yellowed and the frame is chipped. The screws holding it to the wall don’t help either. “You’ve always been so good at lying, Hallie. Especially when it comes to lying to yourself.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Bullshit! Hallie, look at me!” Bryan is standing by my shoulder and I hear him let out a rush of air. I assume that he’s annoyed with me until I see his reflection in the glass on the frame. His face is contorted and he’s clutching his head so hard that I can see every muscle in his body.
I whirl around and jump to my feet. My hands hover above him as if I shouldn’t touch him. “What’s wrong? Bryan?” I’m nearly crying as I watch him tremble and try to breathe, but his ribs barely move. He reaches out for the bed and sits down hard, clutching his head between his hands.
He stays like that, trying so hard to just breathe, that it kills me. I pull on his shirt and race out into the parking lot barefoot when I’m sure he’s not going to die and look for the pills, but the pavement is wet and they’ve melted. Tears stream from my eyes. I had no idea. Something’s wrong with him and I didn’t know. I thought he was partying, and acting like a fucking junkie so I made him toss his medicine.
And he did.
For me.
His voice is weak, behind me, as I try to pick up a pill that’s melting into nothing. “Leave it.”
“I didn’t know!” I’m crying. The pill turns to paste in my fingers. Before I can go for another one, he grabs my shoulders and turns me toward him.
“I knew.” His voice is trembling and tight. He can barely breathe. “I need to sit down. Come inside.”
Bryan throws his arm over my shoulder and we walk back to the bed. He laughs and then grimaces quickly. “I shouldn’t have ridden you like that, but it was worth it. You’ve always been worth it, Hallie.”
CHAPTER 16
Bryan is writhing on the bed and in so much pain that tears stream down his cheeks. He won’t let me take him to the hospital. He keeps saying they can’t do anything, but I can’t watch him like this. “Who else knows?”
“No one.” He manages the words in short breathes between clenched teeth as his back rises off the mattress again. His hands are balled into fists at his sides as another groan escapes him.
“I need to get you r medicine, tell me where to get them.” I’m frantic. He’s gotten so much worse, so fast. The movement, the time he was with me must have made it worse, because he’s so close to screaming out in pure agony that I can’t stand it.
“Jon.” That’s all he says.
Fuck. I hate Jon. Why couldn’t he say Trystan? I nod and grab his phone, scroll through his contacts and find Jon Ferro. I dial and wait forever for him to pick up. “Hey shithead, are you still chasing that thing you nailed in high school?”
“I am that thing he nailed in high s chool. Listen, Bryan is in a lot of pain. His medicine is gone and he needs some now—like right now.”
For a second I think he’s hung up, but then he asks, “Where are you?” I tell him. “Fuck. I thought you were in jail. Shit, Hallie, shit! Get him wasted until I get there, and do NOT take him to the hospital.” That’s all Jon says before he hangs up.
I put the phone back on the nightstand and cross the room. Most of the booze Bryan brought is gone, but there’s some vodka left. I pour it into a plastic cup and bring it to him. “Here, drink this. It’ll help a little
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