The Quest for Saint Camber by Katherine Kurtz Page B

conversation, of course. I left it to the rest of you to draw the correct conclusion that Charissa had been the giver of the deadly gift—something I couldn’t tell you then, or even about the merasha , without betraying that I was Deryni.”
    â€œI—assume there was nothing you could do to save my father, either,” Kelson finally said, speaking for the first time. “I don’t want to believe that you could have done something and didn’t, just to protect your precious identity.”
    Arilan glanced down at his clasped hands. “Kelson, I will not deny that I have been guilty of that accusation on more than one occasion. The nightmares I suffer because of it are worse than you can possibly imagine and only a foretaste of the answering I shall have to make one day before a higher Judge. But your father’s blood is not on my hands. The damage already was done by the time I got to him. I doubt that even a Healer could have saved him—if we still had qualified Healers.”
    â€œIs that the truth, or are you just saying it to placate me?” Kelson replied, daring to turn his Truth-Reading ability on the Deryni bishop for the first time.
    Smiling gently, quite aware of the feather-light probe, Arilan shook his head and opened his hands in a gesture of submission.
    â€œI have told you only the truth, Kelson,” he breathed. “There was nothing I could have done for your father save to prolong his agony a few more minutes. He would not have chosen that, I think. You were there. You know how he suffered.”
    â€œAye.” Kelson swallowed down the lump rising in his throat and looked away for a few seconds, shutting himself off from the mental query of Morgan and even Dhugal’s timid attempt to comfort. He tried not to look at the flask still on the table before him.
    â€œSo,” he finally said, risking a glance at Arilan again. “You’ve had the flask all this time. Why bring it out now?”
    â€œI think you know.”
    Very deliberately, Arilan reached into his cassock and pulled out a small, stoppered glass vial, which he set deliberately beside the flask.
    â€œIt’s time you faced the thing that can set all your powers at naught, Sire,” he said. “You’ve never experienced merasha disruption directly. Nor has Dhugal. For Deryni fortunate enough to receive formal training, it’s an important part of that training, because even though merasha is probably the single most devastating substance that can be employed against our powers, an informed subject can sometimes minimize the effects and even use some of them to his advantage. Duncan can attest to that, I’m sure.”
    Tight-lipped, Duncan nodded, covering one of Dhugal’s hands with his own, and Kelson shifted an accusing glance to Morgan.
    â€œAlaric, did you know about this?” he demanded.
    Morgan drew a deep breath and let it out audibly.
    â€œNot about the flask, no. Duncan and I had discussed with Arilan the need to expose you to merasha before you left on your summer progress. We had agreed that tonight was the logical time to do it. I didn’t tell you, because I didn’t want you to be apprehensive about that when you needed all your concentration for the hearing this morning. As you may have gathered, however, I was not expecting him to produce the very merasha that Brion was given. That was a foul blow, Arilan.”
    Arilan spread both hands in a gesture of conciliation. “For that, I apologize. I had not realized the wounds were still so raw. But it seemed a vivid way of underlining why it’s important they face merasha . In that, at least, I believe I have made my point.”
    â€œAmply,” Kelson muttered. He picked up the stoppered vial and held it to the light, conjuring handfire with his empty hand to see it better. Through the greenish glass, he could just make out the shadow of a clear liquid filling it halfway. He