snow-speckled window. He took a deep breath and faced her again, his gaze intense. “You distract the hell out of me, Carol. I want…hell, I want you. Thinking of you upstairs… It was driving me crazy.” He turned abruptly and moved away. But in the small camper there wasn’t much space for him to escape. He set his hands on the counter, his broad back to her. “But it’s not right. It’s not going to work. I’m going to ruin this.” His fists clenched. “That’s why I bolted.”
She stared at his back, the muscles visible through the fabric of his shirt. Her heart was pounding so hard it seemed to shake her entire body, as if it threatened to quake her apart. She hadn’t expected this. After their kiss, she’d hoped that even with her leaving there might still be possibilities for them, hoped that she hadn’t been wrong about his feelings for her. But she hadn’t expected him to give up and withdraw. She wasn’t going to allow him to leave it at that, either.
She set a hand against his back. He felt warm too, delightful heat coming through his shirt. His muscles jumped at her touch. He tensed, then relaxed. He turned toward her, caught her hand and held it in both of his. His hands were roughed and calloused. Again she wondered what they’d feel like, moving along her body, knowing they were his on her, his skin roughened by how hard he worked, and that tightened the desire inside her, making it an almost painful ache. She wondered how gentle he’d be. Or if he’d be fierce and powerful and overwhelming like an unbroken horse.
“I didn’t know,” she said. “I wasn’t sure…”
“It’s hard. Seeing you every day. Talking with you. Wanting to touch what I can’t have.”
She swallowed hard. “Why can’t you? I don’t understand.”
He let go of her and shoved his hands into his blue jeans. His gaze was fierce, challenging. “I’m a ranch hand. I live in a trailer.” His mouth tightened in disgust as he glanced around the small trailer. “All my money goes to my horse, my truck, or I save it. I’m not fit for you.” He clamped his teeth together so hard his jaw muscles bulged. “And I’m not a good fit for you.”
“You seem to know all about me. Know everything that might work for me. That’s pretty arrogant.”
“Your uncle owns this ranch. I only work for him. You’re about to head off to your own ranch and live your dream.” He was speaking quickly, and his words just came faster and faster. “And you know what, dammit? You’ll do fine at it. Hell, you’ll do great at it. You don’t need me. I don’t have anything to offer. My dream has always been to have my own ranch. Been dreaming that since I was a kid. I’m not even close, and you’re right there.” He shook his head and looked away. “I don’t have any damn thing to offer you.”
“And I can’t be the judge of that?” she asked quietly.
“You’ll go, and I won’t see you…not often anyway. Maybe now and then, but it won’t be the same. You’ll be busy as hell. This would never go anywhere.”
“I could use somebody to ride…with.” She grinned at him. There was a tightness in her throat and an ache in her belly that was cold as snow. The tension in the air built around them, until she was afraid any wrong word would spark a fire that might destroy everything, while the right word would kindle a different fire, full of heat and light and beauty.
He snorted, but her joke seemed to make him angry, not lighten the mood as she’d intended. “That’s just it. I can’t only live through you. I have to make my way. Earn my keep.” He looked at her, eyes intense. “You deserve more.”
“There’s nothing damn wrong with being a ranch hand!” she yelled, suddenly angry herself. “Stop tearing yourself down! I worked this ranch. Same as you. All growing up I worked it.”
“It’s different.” His jaw got that stubborn clench to it. “It’s different and you know it.”
“It’s not
She stared at his back, the muscles visible through the fabric of his shirt. Her heart was pounding so hard it seemed to shake her entire body, as if it threatened to quake her apart. She hadn’t expected this. After their kiss, she’d hoped that even with her leaving there might still be possibilities for them, hoped that she hadn’t been wrong about his feelings for her. But she hadn’t expected him to give up and withdraw. She wasn’t going to allow him to leave it at that, either.
She set a hand against his back. He felt warm too, delightful heat coming through his shirt. His muscles jumped at her touch. He tensed, then relaxed. He turned toward her, caught her hand and held it in both of his. His hands were roughed and calloused. Again she wondered what they’d feel like, moving along her body, knowing they were his on her, his skin roughened by how hard he worked, and that tightened the desire inside her, making it an almost painful ache. She wondered how gentle he’d be. Or if he’d be fierce and powerful and overwhelming like an unbroken horse.
“I didn’t know,” she said. “I wasn’t sure…”
“It’s hard. Seeing you every day. Talking with you. Wanting to touch what I can’t have.”
She swallowed hard. “Why can’t you? I don’t understand.”
He let go of her and shoved his hands into his blue jeans. His gaze was fierce, challenging. “I’m a ranch hand. I live in a trailer.” His mouth tightened in disgust as he glanced around the small trailer. “All my money goes to my horse, my truck, or I save it. I’m not fit for you.” He clamped his teeth together so hard his jaw muscles bulged. “And I’m not a good fit for you.”
“You seem to know all about me. Know everything that might work for me. That’s pretty arrogant.”
“Your uncle owns this ranch. I only work for him. You’re about to head off to your own ranch and live your dream.” He was speaking quickly, and his words just came faster and faster. “And you know what, dammit? You’ll do fine at it. Hell, you’ll do great at it. You don’t need me. I don’t have anything to offer. My dream has always been to have my own ranch. Been dreaming that since I was a kid. I’m not even close, and you’re right there.” He shook his head and looked away. “I don’t have any damn thing to offer you.”
“And I can’t be the judge of that?” she asked quietly.
“You’ll go, and I won’t see you…not often anyway. Maybe now and then, but it won’t be the same. You’ll be busy as hell. This would never go anywhere.”
“I could use somebody to ride…with.” She grinned at him. There was a tightness in her throat and an ache in her belly that was cold as snow. The tension in the air built around them, until she was afraid any wrong word would spark a fire that might destroy everything, while the right word would kindle a different fire, full of heat and light and beauty.
He snorted, but her joke seemed to make him angry, not lighten the mood as she’d intended. “That’s just it. I can’t only live through you. I have to make my way. Earn my keep.” He looked at her, eyes intense. “You deserve more.”
“There’s nothing damn wrong with being a ranch hand!” she yelled, suddenly angry herself. “Stop tearing yourself down! I worked this ranch. Same as you. All growing up I worked it.”
“It’s different.” His jaw got that stubborn clench to it. “It’s different and you know it.”
“It’s not
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