clangour up and down the hall, of the heart monitor and slow breaths in the mask. The man’s lidded eyes barely showed amid the bandages.
‘Both legs were broken,’ said the woman, ‘with multiple fractures. And three ribs, punctured lung, cracked vertebrae, internal bleeding. They’re not sure yet how hard he hit his head.’
Ellis recalled the pop of the man’s head striking the windshield.
‘There are more operations to do. But they hope he might show some alertness today.’ Her gaze drifted. ‘All there is to do is wait.’
He found more tears on his face and pushed them away. Suddenly, the woman caught Ellis’s fingers in her own hot, soft hand. He had expected her to rage at him, expected her to curse him and send him away, and now he had to ask himself, What did he want here?
‘Are you –’ he began. But the questions that came to mind were either empty or heartless.
After a minute he pulled away. ‘I think I had better go.’
But he stood while the woman sat as if she had not heard, gaping at the bed. Eventually a nurse entered with a plastic apparatus in her hands. When she glanced at Ellis, he nodded and turned and stepped out of the room. For a minute he stood against the wall, letting it prop him, dizzy and gasping.
He summoned another taxi and watched the side window as it carried him home. Children with baseball bats stood on a corner. A handwritten sign taped to a street lamp advertised a weight-loss plan. They passed a series of wide paved fields populated with ranks of glittering vehicles – car dealerships. The cab driver said, ‘Nice day.’ It was. The land lay ablaze with sunlight, as if some power wanted to be sure that nothing would be left unrevealed.
But soon traffic slowed, and they halted for a time in the darkness beneath a thundering interstate overpass. Ellis’s phone rang, Heather’s name on the display. He answered, ‘Love?’
‘Ellis,’ she said, and he heard a trace of fracture and guessed that, somehow, things had gotten worse. ‘I’m sorry that I didn’t call sooner. John and I were up late. Ignoring each other. Yelling at each other.’
‘I went to the hospital to see the man I hit.’
‘You did?’
‘He’s bad. He looks terrible. I broke his legs, his ribs, vertebrae, everything. He hasn’t woken up. His wife said they weren’t sure how hard he hit his head, but I remember. It hit the windshield. It hit hard.’
‘It’s not your fault.’
‘If I had stayed in my lane. If I had had some patience.’
‘If he hadn’t been in the middle of a busy street in the dark.’
For some time neither of them spoke. Houses flashed by the window of the cab.
She sighed. ‘Have you seen John?’
‘What’s he done?’
‘He hasn’t called you?’ she asked.
‘No. I tried to call him, but I didn’t get an answer.’
‘He was very emotional. He left here saying he was going to kill himself.’
In the window streamed a mall and a thousand empty parking spaces. Ellis closed his eyes against them, but only gained the impression that they would go on forever.
‘He got a lot of papers from his desk and spread them on the dining table. All of our financial stuff. Insurance. The mortgage. Our wills. The papers for the cars. Then he labelled folders and filed everything into a neat stack. Then he wrote down a list of phone numbers, his lawyer, his financial adviser, people like that. Then he got on the computer and set up folders on the desktop for all of the financial files in there.’
‘He did all this last night?’
‘I’m hysterical, and he says, “That should be everything you’ll need.”’
‘Maybe it’s one of his funny jokes.’
‘He’s upset about you and me.’
Ellis hunched forward and pressed his head into his knees. ‘He knows? How? We didn’t do anything last night.’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Someone should talk to him.’
‘He won’t answer his phone for me.’
‘I mean someone other than you or
‘Both legs were broken,’ said the woman, ‘with multiple fractures. And three ribs, punctured lung, cracked vertebrae, internal bleeding. They’re not sure yet how hard he hit his head.’
Ellis recalled the pop of the man’s head striking the windshield.
‘There are more operations to do. But they hope he might show some alertness today.’ Her gaze drifted. ‘All there is to do is wait.’
He found more tears on his face and pushed them away. Suddenly, the woman caught Ellis’s fingers in her own hot, soft hand. He had expected her to rage at him, expected her to curse him and send him away, and now he had to ask himself, What did he want here?
‘Are you –’ he began. But the questions that came to mind were either empty or heartless.
After a minute he pulled away. ‘I think I had better go.’
But he stood while the woman sat as if she had not heard, gaping at the bed. Eventually a nurse entered with a plastic apparatus in her hands. When she glanced at Ellis, he nodded and turned and stepped out of the room. For a minute he stood against the wall, letting it prop him, dizzy and gasping.
He summoned another taxi and watched the side window as it carried him home. Children with baseball bats stood on a corner. A handwritten sign taped to a street lamp advertised a weight-loss plan. They passed a series of wide paved fields populated with ranks of glittering vehicles – car dealerships. The cab driver said, ‘Nice day.’ It was. The land lay ablaze with sunlight, as if some power wanted to be sure that nothing would be left unrevealed.
But soon traffic slowed, and they halted for a time in the darkness beneath a thundering interstate overpass. Ellis’s phone rang, Heather’s name on the display. He answered, ‘Love?’
‘Ellis,’ she said, and he heard a trace of fracture and guessed that, somehow, things had gotten worse. ‘I’m sorry that I didn’t call sooner. John and I were up late. Ignoring each other. Yelling at each other.’
‘I went to the hospital to see the man I hit.’
‘You did?’
‘He’s bad. He looks terrible. I broke his legs, his ribs, vertebrae, everything. He hasn’t woken up. His wife said they weren’t sure how hard he hit his head, but I remember. It hit the windshield. It hit hard.’
‘It’s not your fault.’
‘If I had stayed in my lane. If I had had some patience.’
‘If he hadn’t been in the middle of a busy street in the dark.’
For some time neither of them spoke. Houses flashed by the window of the cab.
She sighed. ‘Have you seen John?’
‘What’s he done?’
‘He hasn’t called you?’ she asked.
‘No. I tried to call him, but I didn’t get an answer.’
‘He was very emotional. He left here saying he was going to kill himself.’
In the window streamed a mall and a thousand empty parking spaces. Ellis closed his eyes against them, but only gained the impression that they would go on forever.
‘He got a lot of papers from his desk and spread them on the dining table. All of our financial stuff. Insurance. The mortgage. Our wills. The papers for the cars. Then he labelled folders and filed everything into a neat stack. Then he wrote down a list of phone numbers, his lawyer, his financial adviser, people like that. Then he got on the computer and set up folders on the desktop for all of the financial files in there.’
‘He did all this last night?’
‘I’m hysterical, and he says, “That should be everything you’ll need.”’
‘Maybe it’s one of his funny jokes.’
‘He’s upset about you and me.’
Ellis hunched forward and pressed his head into his knees. ‘He knows? How? We didn’t do anything last night.’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Someone should talk to him.’
‘He won’t answer his phone for me.’
‘I mean someone other than you or
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