The Rules of Supervillainy (The Supervillainy Saga Book 1) by C.T. Phipps Page A

sideways.
    “Now see here—” Chief Watkins’ eyes narrowed.
    “Never mind, my wife loves you. We here on Team Villain ™ wouldn’t have you any other way.”
    And yes, I said the trade-mark initials.
    “Go Team Villain!” Cindy jumped up and down while clapping. It was an impressive feat given she had a flame thrower on her back.
    I continued, ignoring her, “Now let me paint you a picture: one supervillain in Falconcrest City, with maybe a half dozen or so supervillain henchman. The Society of Superheroes is too busy fighting alien invasions and extra-dimensional tentacle monsters to help with the crime here. I don’t like supervillains any more than you do, they cut into my business. Ponder the cost effectiveness of having someone willing to beat the psycho-killers of the city to death with a pipe.”
    “ This is never going to work .”
    Chief Watkins stared at me for a long moment then narrowed his eyes. “Take your money and go, Merciless. Take your henchmen with you, too.”
    Dudley Douglas tossed me the duffel bag, which I grabbed in mid-air. His daughter then ran up to him and gave him a hug.
    “Thank you,” I said, almost disappointed. “Let’s go guys.”
    Chief Watkins added under his breath, “We’ll talk later.”
     

Chapter Five
Where I Learn the Basics of Effective Supervillainy
     
    Diabloman stared at my getaway vehicle. “You have to be joking.”
    “I confess; it’s not traditional ...” I trailed off.
    “You drove a minivan here,” Cindy said, putting her hands on her hips. “A minivan, Gary.”
    “Merciless, please,” I corrected. “And there’s nothing wrong with minivans.”
    Okay, that was a big fat lie. My white minivan was anything but an appropriate transport for a supervillain. However, it’s not like I’d purchased it as a getaway vehicle. Mandy and I had once planned on having children and nothing said family car quite like minivan.
    “Minivan, Gary.” Cindy shook her head, tying her red hair into girlish bunches. “Minivan.”
    “Hush up,” I said. “A half-million dollar payday should be enough to warrant me a little respect.”
    Diabloman snorted, hot air blowing out of the nostril slits of his mask. “I confess, it is nice to have an operation go off without a hitch. A year ago, this would be where the Nightwalker would show up to ruin our escape. Still, do not grow cocky. Once, I would not have been satisfied with anything less than a million dollars per heist.”
    “Yeah, well, I just started this gig. I’m willing to work my way up to the Devil of Durango standards.” I unlocked the car. “I’m happy to drop you off anywhere you want before I return to my villainous lair.”
    “You mean your house in the suburbs?” Cindy asked, sliding on in. “I was at the after-wedding party, remember.”
    I winced before correcting her. “Yes, my villainous lair .”
    Diabloman gave a hearty chuckle before climbing in and strapping on his seatbelt. “Many an insidious and cruel villain has begun his career in the microcosm of suburbia.”
    “Thanks, Diablo,” I said. Stepping into the driver’s seat, I started up the car. “So where do you want me to drop you guys off?”
    “Kane and Morrison,” Diabloman said.
    “Timm Blvd,” Cindy said.
    Both named obscure parts of town, I didn’t at all mind driving to. It would add about an hour to my travel time but I didn’t feel right asking them to take a cab, there were people crazy enough to mug a supervillain in this town.
    As we drove along the city streets, I asked Diabloman, “So, could you give me a little advice to start off our mentor-student relationship?”
    “Don’t eat yellow snow,” Diabloman said, gruffly.
    “I hired you to be my evil Obi-Wan. The least you could do is take your job seriously.”
    “Your first mistake was letting two known supervillains into your car while carrying half a million dollars. How do you know we’re not going to steal it?” Cindy asked, crossing her