she’d answered after only one ring.
“I’m sorry.”
She was silent. She was so silent he wondered if she was going to say anything at all, but eventually, she took a deep breath. He held his as he waited for it.
“I don’t think we should spend time with one another or speak to one another anymore.”
His chest seized up tight, and his throat constricted. He was the one unable to speak now.
“It’s too … confusing. And I don’t like feeling this way.”
He closed his eyes, trying to remember how to swallow. “Okay,” he said quietly.
“Good night.”
“Yeah.” His teeth were gritted as he pushed the word out.
And then he hung up.
Chapter Six
“I miss you, Gray. I want to see you. You can’t keep ignoring me. I’m your boyfriend. At least I was the last time I looked.”
She stared out the practice room window for a moment as Anna watched her.
“Please just see me. Talk to me. Have dinner with me. Please.”
She bit her lip, and then she started chewing on her nail. “Fine. Tell me where and when. I’ll meet you there.”
She jotted down the time and place before she hung up with him.
“Huh,” Anna remarked as Gray dropped her cell phone into her bag.
They both sat on the floor, putting their feet together and starting to stretch. They went through the movements as other dancers filtered into the room, dropping their bags on the floor as well and stretching. They said their hellos and did the requisite chatting, but Anna was focused on her.
“When are you seeing him?”
“Tomorrow night for a late dinner at The Carillon.”
“What are you thinking?”
Gray laughed for a second. “Umm… perhaps that I’m not sure what I think about any of it anymore.”
“Meaning?”
Gray shrugged.
When Daniel, the director, walked in, they stood and took their place along the bar.
“Meaning?” Anna hissed at her.
Gray cocked her head over her shoulder in Anna’s direction. “Meaning … things are all mucked up in my brain, and I don’t know how I feel,” she hissed right back.
“About who?” Anna was still hissing.
Gray was craning her neck back, and it hurt like hell. When she dropped her hand from the bar, she turned halfway around to face her nosy friend. “About—”
“Well, hi, Gray. Are you with us today?” Daniel’s voice interrupted her.
She smiled sheepishly at him for a moment. “I am now.”
“Glad to hear it.” Daniel smiled back at her. “Save the gab for break time.”
“Yes, sir.”
She ignored Anna for the remainder of that practice, and when they took a break, Anna watched her like a hawk. When Anna sat down beside her on the floor, she clasped her hands in her lap.
“Explain this.”
“Honestly, Anna, there’s nothing to explain. I don’t know how to feel about Ian, and you know what, it has nothing to do with this … this thing. And you know I’m not very good at just walking away and throwing in the towel.” She looked at Anna. “And I’m not sure I want to.”
Anna nodded. “Because of Ian or because of this other man?”
Gray glanced away for a moment, and when she looked back, she smiled. “Do you ever feel like…” Her eyes flit away again. “Like your life isn’t enough, and you feel empty. Like you bore even yourself? And you’re coming unglued at the seams because … because something … needs to happen.” She shook her head. She wasn’t making sense. “I don’t know,” she muttered.
“You’re thinking of doing it.” Anna’s expression had gone from intrigue to utter shock in less than one second flat.
“No! Trust me. That ship sailed the moment I told Jas I didn’t want to speak to him again—ever. In case you forgot about that part. It’s just…” She shrugged. “Ian … excites me. He doesn’t play by the rules, and more than that, he doesn’t give a shit about them. And I feel a little less dull when I’m with him.” She looked at Anna for a moment and saw concern looking back at her.
“I’m sorry.”
She was silent. She was so silent he wondered if she was going to say anything at all, but eventually, she took a deep breath. He held his as he waited for it.
“I don’t think we should spend time with one another or speak to one another anymore.”
His chest seized up tight, and his throat constricted. He was the one unable to speak now.
“It’s too … confusing. And I don’t like feeling this way.”
He closed his eyes, trying to remember how to swallow. “Okay,” he said quietly.
“Good night.”
“Yeah.” His teeth were gritted as he pushed the word out.
And then he hung up.
Chapter Six
“I miss you, Gray. I want to see you. You can’t keep ignoring me. I’m your boyfriend. At least I was the last time I looked.”
She stared out the practice room window for a moment as Anna watched her.
“Please just see me. Talk to me. Have dinner with me. Please.”
She bit her lip, and then she started chewing on her nail. “Fine. Tell me where and when. I’ll meet you there.”
She jotted down the time and place before she hung up with him.
“Huh,” Anna remarked as Gray dropped her cell phone into her bag.
They both sat on the floor, putting their feet together and starting to stretch. They went through the movements as other dancers filtered into the room, dropping their bags on the floor as well and stretching. They said their hellos and did the requisite chatting, but Anna was focused on her.
“When are you seeing him?”
“Tomorrow night for a late dinner at The Carillon.”
“What are you thinking?”
Gray laughed for a second. “Umm… perhaps that I’m not sure what I think about any of it anymore.”
“Meaning?”
Gray shrugged.
When Daniel, the director, walked in, they stood and took their place along the bar.
“Meaning?” Anna hissed at her.
Gray cocked her head over her shoulder in Anna’s direction. “Meaning … things are all mucked up in my brain, and I don’t know how I feel,” she hissed right back.
“About who?” Anna was still hissing.
Gray was craning her neck back, and it hurt like hell. When she dropped her hand from the bar, she turned halfway around to face her nosy friend. “About—”
“Well, hi, Gray. Are you with us today?” Daniel’s voice interrupted her.
She smiled sheepishly at him for a moment. “I am now.”
“Glad to hear it.” Daniel smiled back at her. “Save the gab for break time.”
“Yes, sir.”
She ignored Anna for the remainder of that practice, and when they took a break, Anna watched her like a hawk. When Anna sat down beside her on the floor, she clasped her hands in her lap.
“Explain this.”
“Honestly, Anna, there’s nothing to explain. I don’t know how to feel about Ian, and you know what, it has nothing to do with this … this thing. And you know I’m not very good at just walking away and throwing in the towel.” She looked at Anna. “And I’m not sure I want to.”
Anna nodded. “Because of Ian or because of this other man?”
Gray glanced away for a moment, and when she looked back, she smiled. “Do you ever feel like…” Her eyes flit away again. “Like your life isn’t enough, and you feel empty. Like you bore even yourself? And you’re coming unglued at the seams because … because something … needs to happen.” She shook her head. She wasn’t making sense. “I don’t know,” she muttered.
“You’re thinking of doing it.” Anna’s expression had gone from intrigue to utter shock in less than one second flat.
“No! Trust me. That ship sailed the moment I told Jas I didn’t want to speak to him again—ever. In case you forgot about that part. It’s just…” She shrugged. “Ian … excites me. He doesn’t play by the rules, and more than that, he doesn’t give a shit about them. And I feel a little less dull when I’m with him.” She looked at Anna for a moment and saw concern looking back at her.
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