to get her off my back.
If I were forced to admit why I hid my feelings, fear would be the primary reason. A gun would likely have to be pointed at my head for me to fess up that little nugget. Even then I would probably be more afraid of the truth than the gun. Every time I considered telling Brock how I felt about him, doubts filled my mind. There were times when the words rested on my tongue, but I bit down on that stupid muscle to prevent it from releasing such ridiculous thoughts that could never be taken back. Because at the end of the day, it would hurt so much more if he didn’t feel the same way. I could handle not knowing how he felt. Him breaking my heart was a completely different story.
Ivy obviously didn’t understand what this was like. “Sometimes I think you’re a boy.” She fell back against her seat, exasperated with me.
I wasn’t offended. In fact, I laughed and said, “That’s okay. Sometimes I think you’re a bitch.”
She air-kissed me with a loud smack. Our friendship was weird.
“What about you and Neal?” Payback time.
“What about us?”
“What’s up with you two? The tension is palpable.”
“Pssh. There’s nothing between us. The only reason he and I are friends is because of you and your friend, Brock. Besides, he’s always liked another girl, but she’s always been…preoccupied.”
“Yeah. Whatever. I’ve seen you two cuddled up.”
“Shut up.” The conversation ended as the boys came back to the car laughing.
A sleeve of Chewy SweeTARTs came flying my way as soon as Brock opened the door. “What are these for?”
“They’re your favorite.” He shrugged.
Neal dramatically rolled his eyes and climbed in the driver’s seat. I ignored him and caught Ivy raising an eyebrow in the side mirror. I shook my head, knowing exactly what she was thinking. It was not a sign of true love that he bought me my favorite candy, but then again, I knew people who settled for less. At least I would always have sugar highs to look forward to.
Chapter Seven
Now
Meyer didn’t even make it through the first movie. She finished her bowl of ice cream and promptly fell asleep on Zoe’s leg. Zoe failed to finish her ice cream, which made it perfectly clear that she did not share the same gene pool as Meyer and me. No member of the Anders family tree misses a chance to ingest sugar.
I ended up watching the entire Anne of Green Gables series and finishing the rest of the ice cream. Then I couldn’t sleep because my stomach hurt so badly. I couldn’t decide if it was because of the ungodly amount of sugar I had eaten that night or the reappearance of Brock in my life. Either way, my stomach churned while my mind flipped between playing Brock’s words over and over again and my father’s bad omen, “You only cross paths with people from your past who were really meant to be in your life.”
While I considered it karma coming back to bite me, my father used it as an excuse to ditch his family. All I wanted to do was wipe my brain clean of the memories that plagued me in the dark. I remembered everything about Brock, every detail that led up to me leaving. The memories were my motivation to put him behind me, but they were also the reason I couldn’t.
Then he had the nerve to say, “I can’t forget about you.” Those were his last words before he drove off. What did that even mean? Had he been thinking about me this whole time like I thought about him? Or did he just want the closure that Jordan thought I needed? I was more confused than ever and feeling slightly hung over even though I hadn’t had a drop of alcohol.
The next morning, I opened the store without my usual gusto. I didn’t bother watching for Restaurant Guy to go to his car to strip out of his wetsuit. My mind was too preoccupied to enjoy the show. The shipment of books arrived, and I wasn’t interested in ripping into the boxes like I usually did as soon as the
If I were forced to admit why I hid my feelings, fear would be the primary reason. A gun would likely have to be pointed at my head for me to fess up that little nugget. Even then I would probably be more afraid of the truth than the gun. Every time I considered telling Brock how I felt about him, doubts filled my mind. There were times when the words rested on my tongue, but I bit down on that stupid muscle to prevent it from releasing such ridiculous thoughts that could never be taken back. Because at the end of the day, it would hurt so much more if he didn’t feel the same way. I could handle not knowing how he felt. Him breaking my heart was a completely different story.
Ivy obviously didn’t understand what this was like. “Sometimes I think you’re a boy.” She fell back against her seat, exasperated with me.
I wasn’t offended. In fact, I laughed and said, “That’s okay. Sometimes I think you’re a bitch.”
She air-kissed me with a loud smack. Our friendship was weird.
“What about you and Neal?” Payback time.
“What about us?”
“What’s up with you two? The tension is palpable.”
“Pssh. There’s nothing between us. The only reason he and I are friends is because of you and your friend, Brock. Besides, he’s always liked another girl, but she’s always been…preoccupied.”
“Yeah. Whatever. I’ve seen you two cuddled up.”
“Shut up.” The conversation ended as the boys came back to the car laughing.
A sleeve of Chewy SweeTARTs came flying my way as soon as Brock opened the door. “What are these for?”
“They’re your favorite.” He shrugged.
Neal dramatically rolled his eyes and climbed in the driver’s seat. I ignored him and caught Ivy raising an eyebrow in the side mirror. I shook my head, knowing exactly what she was thinking. It was not a sign of true love that he bought me my favorite candy, but then again, I knew people who settled for less. At least I would always have sugar highs to look forward to.
Chapter Seven
Now
Meyer didn’t even make it through the first movie. She finished her bowl of ice cream and promptly fell asleep on Zoe’s leg. Zoe failed to finish her ice cream, which made it perfectly clear that she did not share the same gene pool as Meyer and me. No member of the Anders family tree misses a chance to ingest sugar.
I ended up watching the entire Anne of Green Gables series and finishing the rest of the ice cream. Then I couldn’t sleep because my stomach hurt so badly. I couldn’t decide if it was because of the ungodly amount of sugar I had eaten that night or the reappearance of Brock in my life. Either way, my stomach churned while my mind flipped between playing Brock’s words over and over again and my father’s bad omen, “You only cross paths with people from your past who were really meant to be in your life.”
While I considered it karma coming back to bite me, my father used it as an excuse to ditch his family. All I wanted to do was wipe my brain clean of the memories that plagued me in the dark. I remembered everything about Brock, every detail that led up to me leaving. The memories were my motivation to put him behind me, but they were also the reason I couldn’t.
Then he had the nerve to say, “I can’t forget about you.” Those were his last words before he drove off. What did that even mean? Had he been thinking about me this whole time like I thought about him? Or did he just want the closure that Jordan thought I needed? I was more confused than ever and feeling slightly hung over even though I hadn’t had a drop of alcohol.
The next morning, I opened the store without my usual gusto. I didn’t bother watching for Restaurant Guy to go to his car to strip out of his wetsuit. My mind was too preoccupied to enjoy the show. The shipment of books arrived, and I wasn’t interested in ripping into the boxes like I usually did as soon as the
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