seemingly in a hurry. As she rushed back to her car, she tossed the two Adderalls she’d had in her pocket into her mouth. She had called her son’s doctor and reported losing his prescription, picking up a “replacement” bottle that been serving her new casual habit.
Zarina walked around the counter to talk to Lisa while Stan made her sandwich, handing her the iced drink.
“I didn’t want to say anything in front of your neighborhood busybody,” said Zarina. “But have you seen this morning’s paper?”
“I wish. I never get a chance to read the whole local paper,” said Lisa, taking the paper out of her purse. “It comes to the door in the morning at the shop and I glance over it in between batches of baking, but I don’t have time to read it cover to cover.”
Zarina took the paper and opened it to a page past the center section. “Honestly, I can’t believe they still let this old woman write a gossip column,” she said. “How many print newspapers still have those? Anyway, check this out.” She pointed to a paragraph in the “Jane’s Corner” column.
Lisa read.
It seems a local web log is reporting the goings-on about town with an impressive and detailed level of knowledge. Known as ‘The Keytown Mouse,’ the latest online edition of this blog reports that a secret group of adulteresses in town meets regularly to discuss their extracurricular activities, not to mention some type of – dare I even say it? – sex club in a local community. Reminds me of those hippie swingers in the ’70s. Could they be making a comeback? This reporter would be curious to know who this anonymous, mysterious ‘mouse’ is, though considering how much he (or she!) seems to know about people’s personal lives, I certainly wouldn’t want to be in that doghouse!
Zarina half-smiled at her, not knowing what to say.
“Who even uses the term web log any more?” Zarina offered in the way of conversation.
“Old ladies with print newspaper columns,” said Lisa. “Maggie and Eva and I had talked about the Keytown Mouse blog. And you know whose neighborhood this is, don’t you?”
“No way,” said Zarina.
Lisa gestured the newspaper toward the door where Rachel had exited.
“Rachel’s and mine,” she said.
“Holy wow,” said Zarina. “I remember that you sort of hate living in that place, but I had no idea…”
“And adulteresses,” Lisa continued. “Nice to see that word still showing up in a newspaper.” She shook her head and puffed out a blast of annoyed air.
“Unreal,” said Zarina. “Both.”
“Well, I don’t think my husband reads either the ‘web log’ or the local rag,” said Lisa, “so I guess all the dirty secrets around town are safe for now, not that I even have any.”
“How is everything with you guys?” asked Zarina.
“Same old same old, I guess,” said Lisa. “Sometimes I think marriage is just about lowering your expectations so you’re not disappointed.”
Remembering where she was, she looked over at Stan, who had put her sandwich on the counter, and added, “Present company excepted, of course. You guys are so adorable.”
Zarina smiled. “Still newlyweds, at least for now!”
Lisa thanked them and walked out with her sandwich, hearing Chevy Chase as Fletch in the background singing “ Strangers in the night… exchanging clothing… strangers in my pants…”
G-chat
Lisa: You won’t believe it. Zarina gave me a newspaper article that calls out our “adulteresses” club.
Eva: There are still newspapers?
Maggie: Oh Christ it has to be that ancient twat who writes the gossip column.
Eva: People still read gossip columns in newspapers?
Lisa: People in town still read the local rag.
Maggie: Yeah they read the whole thing at the stoplight.
Eva: Does it mention us by name?
Lisa: No, it’s vague. Mentions the swinger club in my neighborhood too. I’m famous!
Maggie: 5 minutes of fame,
Zarina walked around the counter to talk to Lisa while Stan made her sandwich, handing her the iced drink.
“I didn’t want to say anything in front of your neighborhood busybody,” said Zarina. “But have you seen this morning’s paper?”
“I wish. I never get a chance to read the whole local paper,” said Lisa, taking the paper out of her purse. “It comes to the door in the morning at the shop and I glance over it in between batches of baking, but I don’t have time to read it cover to cover.”
Zarina took the paper and opened it to a page past the center section. “Honestly, I can’t believe they still let this old woman write a gossip column,” she said. “How many print newspapers still have those? Anyway, check this out.” She pointed to a paragraph in the “Jane’s Corner” column.
Lisa read.
It seems a local web log is reporting the goings-on about town with an impressive and detailed level of knowledge. Known as ‘The Keytown Mouse,’ the latest online edition of this blog reports that a secret group of adulteresses in town meets regularly to discuss their extracurricular activities, not to mention some type of – dare I even say it? – sex club in a local community. Reminds me of those hippie swingers in the ’70s. Could they be making a comeback? This reporter would be curious to know who this anonymous, mysterious ‘mouse’ is, though considering how much he (or she!) seems to know about people’s personal lives, I certainly wouldn’t want to be in that doghouse!
Zarina half-smiled at her, not knowing what to say.
“Who even uses the term web log any more?” Zarina offered in the way of conversation.
“Old ladies with print newspaper columns,” said Lisa. “Maggie and Eva and I had talked about the Keytown Mouse blog. And you know whose neighborhood this is, don’t you?”
“No way,” said Zarina.
Lisa gestured the newspaper toward the door where Rachel had exited.
“Rachel’s and mine,” she said.
“Holy wow,” said Zarina. “I remember that you sort of hate living in that place, but I had no idea…”
“And adulteresses,” Lisa continued. “Nice to see that word still showing up in a newspaper.” She shook her head and puffed out a blast of annoyed air.
“Unreal,” said Zarina. “Both.”
“Well, I don’t think my husband reads either the ‘web log’ or the local rag,” said Lisa, “so I guess all the dirty secrets around town are safe for now, not that I even have any.”
“How is everything with you guys?” asked Zarina.
“Same old same old, I guess,” said Lisa. “Sometimes I think marriage is just about lowering your expectations so you’re not disappointed.”
Remembering where she was, she looked over at Stan, who had put her sandwich on the counter, and added, “Present company excepted, of course. You guys are so adorable.”
Zarina smiled. “Still newlyweds, at least for now!”
Lisa thanked them and walked out with her sandwich, hearing Chevy Chase as Fletch in the background singing “ Strangers in the night… exchanging clothing… strangers in my pants…”
G-chat
Lisa: You won’t believe it. Zarina gave me a newspaper article that calls out our “adulteresses” club.
Eva: There are still newspapers?
Maggie: Oh Christ it has to be that ancient twat who writes the gossip column.
Eva: People still read gossip columns in newspapers?
Lisa: People in town still read the local rag.
Maggie: Yeah they read the whole thing at the stoplight.
Eva: Does it mention us by name?
Lisa: No, it’s vague. Mentions the swinger club in my neighborhood too. I’m famous!
Maggie: 5 minutes of fame,
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