The School for the Insanely Gifted

The School for the Insanely Gifted by Dan Elish Page A

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Authors: Dan Elish
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don’t—it’s just that . . .”
    Cynthia finished the thought for her. “Does it really work?”
    Harkin slipped off the thick metal glasses and wagged his head. “It does. I chewed a piece and read the New York Times online. The front page appeared right before my eyes. I focused on the link to the sports section, and voilà! It took me right there. I read an article on the connection between high batting averages and eating fried jellyfish. Here. Chew!”
    As he wagged the stick under Daphna’s nose, she wrested it from him and held it up to the light. It certainly looked like an ordinary piece of gum. She took a deep whiff.
    â€œWhat’s it smell like?” Cynthia asked, leaning close.
    â€œThat’s peppermint!” Harkin shouted, unable to contain himself.
    â€œWith a hint of orange,” Daphna said.
    â€œExactly,” the boy said. “The orange helps the chewable software run more smoothly.”
    â€œHow about a piece for me?” Cynthia said.
    Daphna looked at Harkin. “Should I break this one in two?”
    Harkin shook his head. “I don’t know if half a piece will emit a strong enough signal to get online. Don’t chew yet, Daphna. Give me a second.”
    Harkin ran across the room and turned a purple knob on the side of the machine. It began to clang loudly—so loudly, in fact, that Daphna had to cover her ears.
    â€œSorry!” Harkin shouted. “I’m still refining it. It’ll only last a second.”
    The machine clanged ten more times, each time louder than the one before, then stopped. As soon as Daphna took her hands from her ears, it began to shake like a washing machine in a spin cycle. An array of colored lights on its side began to flash.
    â€œThat’s the computer,” Harkin announced. “It’s putting the chewable software into the gum.”
    No sooner were the words out of the boy’s mouth then the machine hissed out a stream of orange smoke.
    â€œThat’s the flavoring!” Harkin cried. “Now hold on.”
    Daphna’s heart jumped. “Hold on?”
    The machine began hopping up and down, thumping against the floor with a series of loud whacks. Without even realizing, Daphna and Cynthia held each other to keep from falling to the ground. Even so, the floor shook so violently that they sank to their knees.
    â€œAll right! Now watch!”
    The machine stopped bouncing. With a series of fast, short pfft s, pieces of gum shot into the air, arced across the room, and landed in a bucket by the far wall.
    â€œWorks every time,” Harkin said.
    Harkin held up the bucket to Cynthia. She shoved a piece into her mouth and began to chew vigorously.
    â€œGo ahead, Daph, dude,” Harkin said.
    Daphna held her gum in her hand another moment, looking it up and down, still half believing she was about to be the butt of some sort of colossal joke. But then she shrugged and popped it into her mouth. With a few good chews, the sharp taste began to spread.
    â€œYou’re doing great,” Harkin said.
    â€œDoing great?” Cynthia said. She laughed. “A monkey could do this.”
    â€œChew faster,” Harkin said. “Now think of a website. Don’t laugh. This is serious. Just do it!”
    Cynthia rolled her eyes at Daphna. “Okay, I’m thinking about thedancingdoberman.com. But I don’t see what that’s going to—”
    Cynthia stopped talking.
    â€œWhat?” Daphna asked.
    Cynthia’s jaws began to work even faster. She appeared to be transfixed, looking straight ahead, seeing something no one else could. “This is amazing.”
    Harkin jumped into the air. “It’s working, right?”
    Cynthia shook herself and turned to Daphna. “I’m seeing the actual website in my head,” she said. “Just by thinking about it. There’s the home page. There’s the page with the

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