gay.
Chapter Five
The cell phone buzzed in Roan’s pocket and then began to chime. He froze while his assistant and agent both stared at him. Few people had this number, so the Chopin ringtone was always a bit of an event. Plus, Roan recognized the distinctive ring he’d programmed just for Jake Martin. His pulse hammered. It had been seven days. Seven long, miserable, heart-ripping, fucking days!
“Roan, are you going to answer it?” Roan’s assistant, Tick Tock, looked curious and a little concerned. Roan knew he must look stricken. He slowly raised the phone to his ear and pushed Connect. “Hi.”
“Roan?”
“It’s been seven fucking days.”
“I had to go to my parents, and then I had to work.”
“You didn’t have a phone?”
“Roan, you told me to think.”
“Yeah, and…?”
“Look…truth. I can’t get comfortable with the gay thing—for me, I mean, not you. And there’s someone I care about…a woman. I can’t have her. In fact, she doesn’t even know I’m lusting after her. It’s pathetic. But wanting you so bad makes me feel unfaithful to her, and that’s why I haven’t…”
“Say that again.”
“What? I feel unfaithful?”
“Before that.”
Jake sighed. “That I want you so bad?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you gonna tell me I’m thinking with my cock again?”
Roan couldn’t get his voice above a whisper. “I don’t care what you’re thinking with as long as you want me.”
“Oh God, Roan, I do, so much.”
“And you know what you want?”
“My tongue in your mouth so deep you can’t breathe.”
“What else?”
“My lips wrapped around your cock and sucking until you come and come.”
Roan moaned and turned to hide his massive erection from his very interested onlookers. “And what else?”
He heard Jake swallow. “My cock in your ass. But Roan, you’re gonna have to show me how.”
“Yeah, baby. I will. How long will it take you to get here?”
“I’m in the city at the station. I took the train. I hoped…”
“Shit. That’s too far. Hurry…”
“Yes.”
“Hurry.”
“Where?”
Roan handed the phone to Tick Tock. “Tell him where I am.”
The boy looked perplexed. “What?”
“Here,” Roan almost shouted. Roan never shouted. “Tell him how to get here.” And then he ran up the stairs of his two-story loft and slammed the bedroom door.
Standing with his back against the door, he could faintly hear Tick Tock talking into his phone. Jake. Oh God, he had to get a grip. Jake cared for someone else. That was bad. Roan slammed a hand against the pain in his chest that felt like he couldn’t breathe. No. No. But he wanted Roan; that would be good enough. Roan couldn’t afford to get hung up on a straight guy who just wanted a little walk on the pervy side, no matter how beautiful he was. Just sex would be good. Good enough. It had been a long time since he wanted someone this much. Roan had walked away from Jake in LA, but there was no way he could do it again—no way.
Walking into his bathroom, he looked in the mirror. Roan never looked in the mirror. He knew just what he looked like from a thousand images looking back at him every day on newsstands, TV, and online. But suddenly he was curious. What did Jake see? Roan knew what he didn’t see—the grimy, frightened kid huddled in a corner of the root cellar, “to humble the pride from him,” his father had said. It took Roan years to realize his father just didn’t believe a child so beautiful could be his son. Beauty? Roan had believed for years he’d been cursed. A father who hated him, a mother who was afraid to love him, lovers who only wanted him for his looks, and absolutely no one who could understand that extraordinary beauty could be as great a burden as ugliness. Roan took a deep breath and smiled at himself, his famous crooked tooth shining. No one had ever made a curse pay quite so well.
He spit in the sink. Forget this “woe is me” shit. He was more than a
Chapter Five
The cell phone buzzed in Roan’s pocket and then began to chime. He froze while his assistant and agent both stared at him. Few people had this number, so the Chopin ringtone was always a bit of an event. Plus, Roan recognized the distinctive ring he’d programmed just for Jake Martin. His pulse hammered. It had been seven days. Seven long, miserable, heart-ripping, fucking days!
“Roan, are you going to answer it?” Roan’s assistant, Tick Tock, looked curious and a little concerned. Roan knew he must look stricken. He slowly raised the phone to his ear and pushed Connect. “Hi.”
“Roan?”
“It’s been seven fucking days.”
“I had to go to my parents, and then I had to work.”
“You didn’t have a phone?”
“Roan, you told me to think.”
“Yeah, and…?”
“Look…truth. I can’t get comfortable with the gay thing—for me, I mean, not you. And there’s someone I care about…a woman. I can’t have her. In fact, she doesn’t even know I’m lusting after her. It’s pathetic. But wanting you so bad makes me feel unfaithful to her, and that’s why I haven’t…”
“Say that again.”
“What? I feel unfaithful?”
“Before that.”
Jake sighed. “That I want you so bad?”
“Yeah.”
“Are you gonna tell me I’m thinking with my cock again?”
Roan couldn’t get his voice above a whisper. “I don’t care what you’re thinking with as long as you want me.”
“Oh God, Roan, I do, so much.”
“And you know what you want?”
“My tongue in your mouth so deep you can’t breathe.”
“What else?”
“My lips wrapped around your cock and sucking until you come and come.”
Roan moaned and turned to hide his massive erection from his very interested onlookers. “And what else?”
He heard Jake swallow. “My cock in your ass. But Roan, you’re gonna have to show me how.”
“Yeah, baby. I will. How long will it take you to get here?”
“I’m in the city at the station. I took the train. I hoped…”
“Shit. That’s too far. Hurry…”
“Yes.”
“Hurry.”
“Where?”
Roan handed the phone to Tick Tock. “Tell him where I am.”
The boy looked perplexed. “What?”
“Here,” Roan almost shouted. Roan never shouted. “Tell him how to get here.” And then he ran up the stairs of his two-story loft and slammed the bedroom door.
Standing with his back against the door, he could faintly hear Tick Tock talking into his phone. Jake. Oh God, he had to get a grip. Jake cared for someone else. That was bad. Roan slammed a hand against the pain in his chest that felt like he couldn’t breathe. No. No. But he wanted Roan; that would be good enough. Roan couldn’t afford to get hung up on a straight guy who just wanted a little walk on the pervy side, no matter how beautiful he was. Just sex would be good. Good enough. It had been a long time since he wanted someone this much. Roan had walked away from Jake in LA, but there was no way he could do it again—no way.
Walking into his bathroom, he looked in the mirror. Roan never looked in the mirror. He knew just what he looked like from a thousand images looking back at him every day on newsstands, TV, and online. But suddenly he was curious. What did Jake see? Roan knew what he didn’t see—the grimy, frightened kid huddled in a corner of the root cellar, “to humble the pride from him,” his father had said. It took Roan years to realize his father just didn’t believe a child so beautiful could be his son. Beauty? Roan had believed for years he’d been cursed. A father who hated him, a mother who was afraid to love him, lovers who only wanted him for his looks, and absolutely no one who could understand that extraordinary beauty could be as great a burden as ugliness. Roan took a deep breath and smiled at himself, his famous crooked tooth shining. No one had ever made a curse pay quite so well.
He spit in the sink. Forget this “woe is me” shit. He was more than a
Similar Books
