her throat cut.
Allush and the old one kneel beside her. They’re stunned.
Nothing to be done. Nothing to say. I kneel beside them.
We all know who did it.
I feel for my knife. They did leave it.
Without me here it wouldn’t have happened.
“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I came. Without me….”
Allush says, “It’s not your fault.”
“It is.”
If I wasn’t so burned and then shot, I’d go after him right now. But I have to wait. And this isn’t my city. I don’t know my way around.
Allush says, “This isn’t the first thing he’s done like this, but it’s the worst. I never thought he’d go this far.”
But she can’t talk anymore. Then she manages to say, “I’m not staying here. Ever. I’m going with Lorpas.”
She doesn’t know me anymore than I know her. She may be sorry she said it and I may be sorry, too. I don’t even trust my own: “Love at first sight.” That’s what it was. Besides, it’s not me she wants to go with, she just wants to get away. But I feel happy even so. When has there ever been someone among my own kind who’s a suitable mate for me? And it’s easy to see she likes me.
We all feel too bad to eat, but they insist I have the broth. Even the old one who obviously can’t wait to be rid of me. She’s one of those people that’ll help either side of any war or any kind of hurt creature. When she sees how I’m in pain even trying to eat, she feeds me. She uses a battered stainless steel spoon. Everything’s old and scratched, the pan and the fire pot, too.
The dead mule lies right outside. They can’t drag it away. I could help if I had even one good arm. The body will attract wolves and maybe even a mountain lion. Best not to be near it. They’ll move me instead. They want to hide me in a different spot anyway in case that man comes back.
This time we won’t have the mule to help me move. And this time I’m worse off than ever. After eating, all I want to do is lie where I am. And I don’t think they know where to take me. Just away.
I lean on them. I stumble. Each time I fall and don’t want to get up, they say, “Just a few more yards,” but I don’t think they know where they’re going.
Where they finally put me isn’t a shelter at all. Just under a tree where the branches hang down around us. We have to push through them to get to the sheltered spot next to the trunk. Then they go back and get the pan and blankets.
They’re going to spend the night with me. I’m already asleep when I feel them tucking me in. The old one doesn’t like me but even so, what sweet, sweet women—both of them.
ALLUSH
I COULDN’T TALK BEFORE BUT NOW I CAN’T STOP talking. Mollish listens. At least Lorpas is sleeping through it.
“What an evil thing! How could anybody? We loved her. We need her. How can she be dead? I know exactly what happened. She would have come right up to him. She would have put her head on his chest. She’d have come to be killed. And then, just as if one of our deer for the larder…. Has anything ever happened here as bad as this? We’re as bad as the natives. When one of the old ones died I was sad but it was a normal thing. It was holding hands. People sang. How could this have happened?”
And then I say it all over again.
Mollish doesn’t say anything. She holds me. I cry. I miss the cosy burrow, but I feel safe in her arms. Except where is there any safety if Pashty can die like this? And from one of us? Us!
If Lorpas hadn’t come…. Youpas always thought I belonged to him but I never ever did nor wanted to.
At least Youpas would never think we’d hide under a tree. We’re below the city and away from the trail. I hope he’s back there checking to see if we’re in any of the burrows. That’ll keep him busy all night.
I N THE MORNING , FIRST LIGHT, WE MOVE L ORPAS yet farther down—beyond the elderberries. We stay away from the stream-side path so it’s hard going. He probably misses his cane. I’d go back
Allush and the old one kneel beside her. They’re stunned.
Nothing to be done. Nothing to say. I kneel beside them.
We all know who did it.
I feel for my knife. They did leave it.
Without me here it wouldn’t have happened.
“I’m so sorry. I’m sorry I came. Without me….”
Allush says, “It’s not your fault.”
“It is.”
If I wasn’t so burned and then shot, I’d go after him right now. But I have to wait. And this isn’t my city. I don’t know my way around.
Allush says, “This isn’t the first thing he’s done like this, but it’s the worst. I never thought he’d go this far.”
But she can’t talk anymore. Then she manages to say, “I’m not staying here. Ever. I’m going with Lorpas.”
She doesn’t know me anymore than I know her. She may be sorry she said it and I may be sorry, too. I don’t even trust my own: “Love at first sight.” That’s what it was. Besides, it’s not me she wants to go with, she just wants to get away. But I feel happy even so. When has there ever been someone among my own kind who’s a suitable mate for me? And it’s easy to see she likes me.
We all feel too bad to eat, but they insist I have the broth. Even the old one who obviously can’t wait to be rid of me. She’s one of those people that’ll help either side of any war or any kind of hurt creature. When she sees how I’m in pain even trying to eat, she feeds me. She uses a battered stainless steel spoon. Everything’s old and scratched, the pan and the fire pot, too.
The dead mule lies right outside. They can’t drag it away. I could help if I had even one good arm. The body will attract wolves and maybe even a mountain lion. Best not to be near it. They’ll move me instead. They want to hide me in a different spot anyway in case that man comes back.
This time we won’t have the mule to help me move. And this time I’m worse off than ever. After eating, all I want to do is lie where I am. And I don’t think they know where to take me. Just away.
I lean on them. I stumble. Each time I fall and don’t want to get up, they say, “Just a few more yards,” but I don’t think they know where they’re going.
Where they finally put me isn’t a shelter at all. Just under a tree where the branches hang down around us. We have to push through them to get to the sheltered spot next to the trunk. Then they go back and get the pan and blankets.
They’re going to spend the night with me. I’m already asleep when I feel them tucking me in. The old one doesn’t like me but even so, what sweet, sweet women—both of them.
ALLUSH
I COULDN’T TALK BEFORE BUT NOW I CAN’T STOP talking. Mollish listens. At least Lorpas is sleeping through it.
“What an evil thing! How could anybody? We loved her. We need her. How can she be dead? I know exactly what happened. She would have come right up to him. She would have put her head on his chest. She’d have come to be killed. And then, just as if one of our deer for the larder…. Has anything ever happened here as bad as this? We’re as bad as the natives. When one of the old ones died I was sad but it was a normal thing. It was holding hands. People sang. How could this have happened?”
And then I say it all over again.
Mollish doesn’t say anything. She holds me. I cry. I miss the cosy burrow, but I feel safe in her arms. Except where is there any safety if Pashty can die like this? And from one of us? Us!
If Lorpas hadn’t come…. Youpas always thought I belonged to him but I never ever did nor wanted to.
At least Youpas would never think we’d hide under a tree. We’re below the city and away from the trail. I hope he’s back there checking to see if we’re in any of the burrows. That’ll keep him busy all night.
I N THE MORNING , FIRST LIGHT, WE MOVE L ORPAS yet farther down—beyond the elderberries. We stay away from the stream-side path so it’s hard going. He probably misses his cane. I’d go back
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