boss in the days before she decided to kill herself. And too often the look in your eyes looks too much like hers. I didn’t say anything then and now I have to live with wondering if maybe I could have made a difference—I won’t do that again. Not ever. So if this is out of place, I’m sorry, but I’m not living with that on my soul again. I look at you and see something too close to what I saw then. I can’t be quiet this time. I just can’t.”
Taylor closed his eyes. He heard the nervous tremble in her voice, knew why she was so upset. And he understood why she’d made herself say this—forced herself to do it.
Gina had been the one to find her boss dead. But he wasn’t about to off himself. He didn’t deserve that easy of an end.
He made himself look back at her. “I said I’m fine.”
She continued to stare at him and her gaze told him she wasn’t convinced.
“Gina, I’m fine.” No, he wasn’t. But he wasn’t going to put a gun to his head, either. Forcing himself to smile, he added, “I’ve got too much to do to kill myself anyway.”
There was still the mission, after all. If nothing else, he still had that.
Always that.
Gina weakly returned his smile. “Well, I guess that’s one way to look at it.”
“Yes.”
He came out from behind the desk and hesitated. It was weird, he realized, to know that somebody was worried about him. Most people around here wouldn’t give a damn if he died, other than how it might affect their jobs. “Was there anything else?”
“On that topic?” She gave him a wobbly smile. “No. Other stuff? I’m sure it will come up. I know what to call about, what not to call about…except…” She grimaced.
“What is it?”
She glanced past his shoulder, like she didn’t want to look at him as she asked, “What do I do if we get more of those calls?”
Now it was Taylor’s turn to grimace. In a gesture that had become automatic, he slid a hand into his pocket, fingered the golden chain. For the first few months, he’d told himself he’d send it to her. Return it. It was hers, after all.
Then he told himself he could drive it out there…once he had time. He could at least look her in the face, perhaps apologize.
But he never did it. And he knew he wouldn’t. He couldn’t, for some reason. He needed that small connection, that small piece of her. Idly, he rubbed his finger across the chain and then looked at Gina.
“If she calls, call me.” But he hoped it didn’t happen. He was going to have enough to deal with, just getting through the next few weeks.
The last thing he needed was to think about dealing with those calls…
* * *
“PLEASE. Take it.”
This was the part of her new life that wasn’t so easy.
Staring at Myra Downey’s wrinkled, tired face, Dez Lincoln gave her a weak smile. “You know, I don’t much like doing this,” she said, accepting the check with a strained smile.
“I’m seeing that…in your eyes. You got a lot of pride, I can see it. Just like I can see that if I hadn’t offered this money, you wouldn’t have asked.” Myra curled Dez’s fingers around the check and shook her head. “What you’ve given me is more valuable than what I’m giving you. And I think you know it. Peace is something I’ve not had in years, not since he disappeared.”
A watery smile curled her lips and she reached down, touched the faded gold band on her left ring finger.
Dez suspected the ring hadn’t ever left her hand for longer than it took to wash her dishes or take a bath. Myra closed her eyes and when she looked back at Dez, there was such peace, such tranquillity in her eyes. “You don’t understand the gift you’ve given me, Ms. Lincoln. The peace I feel. Yes, now I have to grieve all over again, but now I know . Now I can have peace…and it’s because of you. Now I know he didn’t just walk away from us.” Her voice broke and tears gleamed in her eyes. “He didn’t just leave.”
“No.” Dez
Taylor closed his eyes. He heard the nervous tremble in her voice, knew why she was so upset. And he understood why she’d made herself say this—forced herself to do it.
Gina had been the one to find her boss dead. But he wasn’t about to off himself. He didn’t deserve that easy of an end.
He made himself look back at her. “I said I’m fine.”
She continued to stare at him and her gaze told him she wasn’t convinced.
“Gina, I’m fine.” No, he wasn’t. But he wasn’t going to put a gun to his head, either. Forcing himself to smile, he added, “I’ve got too much to do to kill myself anyway.”
There was still the mission, after all. If nothing else, he still had that.
Always that.
Gina weakly returned his smile. “Well, I guess that’s one way to look at it.”
“Yes.”
He came out from behind the desk and hesitated. It was weird, he realized, to know that somebody was worried about him. Most people around here wouldn’t give a damn if he died, other than how it might affect their jobs. “Was there anything else?”
“On that topic?” She gave him a wobbly smile. “No. Other stuff? I’m sure it will come up. I know what to call about, what not to call about…except…” She grimaced.
“What is it?”
She glanced past his shoulder, like she didn’t want to look at him as she asked, “What do I do if we get more of those calls?”
Now it was Taylor’s turn to grimace. In a gesture that had become automatic, he slid a hand into his pocket, fingered the golden chain. For the first few months, he’d told himself he’d send it to her. Return it. It was hers, after all.
Then he told himself he could drive it out there…once he had time. He could at least look her in the face, perhaps apologize.
But he never did it. And he knew he wouldn’t. He couldn’t, for some reason. He needed that small connection, that small piece of her. Idly, he rubbed his finger across the chain and then looked at Gina.
“If she calls, call me.” But he hoped it didn’t happen. He was going to have enough to deal with, just getting through the next few weeks.
The last thing he needed was to think about dealing with those calls…
* * *
“PLEASE. Take it.”
This was the part of her new life that wasn’t so easy.
Staring at Myra Downey’s wrinkled, tired face, Dez Lincoln gave her a weak smile. “You know, I don’t much like doing this,” she said, accepting the check with a strained smile.
“I’m seeing that…in your eyes. You got a lot of pride, I can see it. Just like I can see that if I hadn’t offered this money, you wouldn’t have asked.” Myra curled Dez’s fingers around the check and shook her head. “What you’ve given me is more valuable than what I’m giving you. And I think you know it. Peace is something I’ve not had in years, not since he disappeared.”
A watery smile curled her lips and she reached down, touched the faded gold band on her left ring finger.
Dez suspected the ring hadn’t ever left her hand for longer than it took to wash her dishes or take a bath. Myra closed her eyes and when she looked back at Dez, there was such peace, such tranquillity in her eyes. “You don’t understand the gift you’ve given me, Ms. Lincoln. The peace I feel. Yes, now I have to grieve all over again, but now I know . Now I can have peace…and it’s because of you. Now I know he didn’t just walk away from us.” Her voice broke and tears gleamed in her eyes. “He didn’t just leave.”
“No.” Dez
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