are things more important than swimming, man.”
“Yeah, like eating,” said Louie through the door.
BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!
“What do you want?” asked Eric.
“ Listen you guys! If I hear one more sound out of you, just one sound, I’m coming in !”
Eric and Louie were silent. They could hear the two fat men going down the stairway.
“I think we could have taken them,” said Eric. “Fat guys can’t move. They’re easy.”
“Yeah,” said Louie, “I think we could have taken them. I mean, if we had really wanted to.”
“We’re out of beer,” said Gloria, “I sure could use a cold beer. My nerves are completely shot.”
“O.K., Louie,” said Eric, “you go out and get the beers, I’ll pay for them.”
“No,” said Louie, “you go get them. I’ll pay.”
“I’ll pay,” said Eric, “and we’ll send Gloria.”
“O.K.” said Louie.
Eric gave Gloria the money and the instructions and they opened the door and let her out. The swimming pool was empty. It was a nice California morning, smoggy, stale and listless.
“You and your fucking mimeo machine,” said Eric.
“It’s a good magazine,” said Louie, “it’s as good as most.”
“I suppose you’re right.”
Then they stood and sat and sat and stood waiting for Gloria to get back with the cold beer.
DECLINE AND FALL
It was a Monday afternoon in The Hungry Diamond. There were only two people in there, Mel and the bartender. Monday afternoon in Los Angeles is nowhere—even Friday night is nowhere—but especially Monday afternoon. The bartender, whose name was Carl, was drinking from under the bar and standing near Mel, who was humped leisurely over a stale green beer. “I gotta tell you something,” said Mel. “Go ahead,” said the bartender.
“Well, I got this phone call the other night from a guy I used to work with in Akron. He lost his job drinking and he married a nurse and this nurse supports him. I don’t have much feeling for these people—but you know how people are, they kind of hang on to you.”
“Yeah,” said the bartender.
“Anyhow, they phone me—listen, give me another beer, this shit tastes awful.”
“Okay, just drink it a little faster; it begins to lose body after an hour.”
“All right…They tell me they’ve solved the meat shortage—I think ‘What meat shortage?’—and to come on over. I’ve got nothing to do so I go over. The Rams are playing and this guy, Al, he turns on the tv and we watch. Erica, her name is, she’s in the kitchen mixing a salad and I’ve brought a couple of six-packs. I say hello, Al opens a few bottles, it’s nice and warm in there, the oven’s on.
“Well, it’s comfortable. They look like they haven’t had an argument in a couple of days and the state of affairs is calm. Al says something about Reagan and something about unemployment butI can’t respond; it all bores me. You see, I don’t give a damn if the country is rotten or not, so long as I make it.”
“Right,” said the bartender, taking a drink from under the bar.
“All right. She comes out and sits and drinks her beer. Erica. The nurse. She says that all the doctors treat their patients like cattle. She says that all the damned doctors are on the make. They think their own shit doesn’t stink. She’d rather have Al than any doctor alive. Now that’s a silly statement, isn’t it?”
“I never met Al,” said the barkeep.
“So we’re playing cards and the Rams are losing and after a few hands Al says to me, ‘You know, I got a strange wife. She likes to have somebody watch while we do the thing.’ ‘That’s right,’ she says, ‘that’s what really stimulates me.’ And Al says, ‘But it’s so hard to get somebody to watch. You’d think it would be easy to get somebody to watch, but it’s hard as hell.’
“I don’t say anything. I ask for two cards and raise a nickel. She lays down her cards and Al lays down his cards and they both stand up. She starts to
“Yeah, like eating,” said Louie through the door.
BAM! BAM! BAM! BAM!
“What do you want?” asked Eric.
“ Listen you guys! If I hear one more sound out of you, just one sound, I’m coming in !”
Eric and Louie were silent. They could hear the two fat men going down the stairway.
“I think we could have taken them,” said Eric. “Fat guys can’t move. They’re easy.”
“Yeah,” said Louie, “I think we could have taken them. I mean, if we had really wanted to.”
“We’re out of beer,” said Gloria, “I sure could use a cold beer. My nerves are completely shot.”
“O.K., Louie,” said Eric, “you go out and get the beers, I’ll pay for them.”
“No,” said Louie, “you go get them. I’ll pay.”
“I’ll pay,” said Eric, “and we’ll send Gloria.”
“O.K.” said Louie.
Eric gave Gloria the money and the instructions and they opened the door and let her out. The swimming pool was empty. It was a nice California morning, smoggy, stale and listless.
“You and your fucking mimeo machine,” said Eric.
“It’s a good magazine,” said Louie, “it’s as good as most.”
“I suppose you’re right.”
Then they stood and sat and sat and stood waiting for Gloria to get back with the cold beer.
DECLINE AND FALL
It was a Monday afternoon in The Hungry Diamond. There were only two people in there, Mel and the bartender. Monday afternoon in Los Angeles is nowhere—even Friday night is nowhere—but especially Monday afternoon. The bartender, whose name was Carl, was drinking from under the bar and standing near Mel, who was humped leisurely over a stale green beer. “I gotta tell you something,” said Mel. “Go ahead,” said the bartender.
“Well, I got this phone call the other night from a guy I used to work with in Akron. He lost his job drinking and he married a nurse and this nurse supports him. I don’t have much feeling for these people—but you know how people are, they kind of hang on to you.”
“Yeah,” said the bartender.
“Anyhow, they phone me—listen, give me another beer, this shit tastes awful.”
“Okay, just drink it a little faster; it begins to lose body after an hour.”
“All right…They tell me they’ve solved the meat shortage—I think ‘What meat shortage?’—and to come on over. I’ve got nothing to do so I go over. The Rams are playing and this guy, Al, he turns on the tv and we watch. Erica, her name is, she’s in the kitchen mixing a salad and I’ve brought a couple of six-packs. I say hello, Al opens a few bottles, it’s nice and warm in there, the oven’s on.
“Well, it’s comfortable. They look like they haven’t had an argument in a couple of days and the state of affairs is calm. Al says something about Reagan and something about unemployment butI can’t respond; it all bores me. You see, I don’t give a damn if the country is rotten or not, so long as I make it.”
“Right,” said the bartender, taking a drink from under the bar.
“All right. She comes out and sits and drinks her beer. Erica. The nurse. She says that all the doctors treat their patients like cattle. She says that all the damned doctors are on the make. They think their own shit doesn’t stink. She’d rather have Al than any doctor alive. Now that’s a silly statement, isn’t it?”
“I never met Al,” said the barkeep.
“So we’re playing cards and the Rams are losing and after a few hands Al says to me, ‘You know, I got a strange wife. She likes to have somebody watch while we do the thing.’ ‘That’s right,’ she says, ‘that’s what really stimulates me.’ And Al says, ‘But it’s so hard to get somebody to watch. You’d think it would be easy to get somebody to watch, but it’s hard as hell.’
“I don’t say anything. I ask for two cards and raise a nickel. She lays down her cards and Al lays down his cards and they both stand up. She starts to
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