The Secret Desires of a Soccer Mom by Robyn Harding Page A

fantastic!” He
did look pretty good. He was an attractive man of medium height, with a neat,
greying goatee and stylish glasses. Something about Doug radiated intelligence.
He was no artist’s model, to be sure, but neither was he a hideous ogre who
would drive his wife into the arms of the first good-looking barista to come
along.
    “You, too, Paige,” he answered politely.
“Great to see you, as always.” He handed me a bottle of wine.
    “Oh, you shouldn’t have, but how
thoughtful. Paul, Doug brought a bottle of wine. Isn’t that nice? That’s so
nice, Doug.”
    “Well… thanks for having us over.”
    “Our pleasure! Really, Paul and I were just
saying that we should do this more often.” Paul took Doug’s coat and I turned
to Karen. “Hi stranger! Long time no see.” I laughed, as if it were actually
funny.
    “Hi,” she said, smiling a little tightly.
“Thanks for inviting us.”
    “Well, when Paul said he saw Doug at the
golf course and suggested a barbecue, I just thought, what a great idea! We
don’t do nearly enough together as couples, do we?”
    “No.”
    It was a warm autumn evening, so we all
stood on the back deck and visited as Paul grilled the T-bones. I kept
everyone’s drink filled, including my own, and played the part of charming and
witty hostess. At least, I thought I was charming and witty. In retrospect, I
can see that I was just drunk. But all in all, the evening went quite smoothly.
Karen and Doug seemed very much a couple, teasing each other good-naturedly,
exchanging fond glances and touching affectionately. It would have been easy to
forget that she was involved with someone else, had I not developed a slightly
unhealthy fixation with the subject.
    Being with Karen and her husband only
deepened my fascination—and confusion. Why did they seem so much closer than
Paul and me? They seemed to revel in each other’s company. They presented as a
team, a unified front. Whereas Paul and I—well, he was in charge of steaks: I
was on salads. Our connection didn’t seem to go much beyond that. Did Karen’s
infidelity make her appreciate Doug more? Now that she was sexually fulfilled,
was she more able to enjoy his companionship? Could Doug sense that his wife
was happier, more passionate, and more alive? And did that all rub off on their
relationship? God! Was the secret to a happy marriage a hunk on the side?
    It was over a dessert of hot-fudge sundaes
with fresh raspberries, when things went a little off the rails. Conversation
had previously been split along gender lines. Paul and Doug chatted about work,
golf scores, and last night’s football game. Karen and I covered the usual
stuff: the new movie that she had seen and that I wanted to see, Carly’s
difficulty tracking down the vending machine man, the work out regime I planned
to start and the one Karen was already on. But as we sat around the dining room
table, it seemed rude not to address Doug directly. I didn’t want him to think that
I was uncomfortable around him. As hostess, it was my duty to engage all my
guests in conversation. Unfortunately, in my inebriated state, I may not have
chosen the best topic for discussion.
    “So Doug…” I leaned toward him. “I hear
Karen’s seeing an infertility acupuncturist. I’m sure you’ll have her knocked
up in no time!”
    Doug laughed, a little uncomfortably. Paul
laughed, a lot uncomfortably.
    “Seriously though, once you have kids,” I
continued my speech mildly slurred, “then you’re really a family, you know?
…Not that you aren’t a family right now—you and Karen. You are! Very much so!
But you know, kids… kids really kind of solidify a relationship. Not that
they’re always easy, let me tell you. Some days I think, why couldn’t I have
been satisfied with just a dog or something? But kids are great, really.”
    At this point, I happened to glance at my
friend across the table. Her eyes were filled with panic. Uh-oh. I realized I’d
been steering