The Secret She Kept by Amy Knupp

father’s emaciated body, he couldn’t quite wrap his head around the fact that Dean was losing his battle with the big C .
    “Emily asked me to return.”
    “I’m glad.”
    A nurse arrived then and Jake stood to get out of the way, relieved at the interruption.
    “This won’t take long,” she told him as she rolled in some equipment.
    “I’ll wait in the hall.” He slipped out before anyone could protest. Exhaling deeply, he leaned against the wall, searching for a happy memory of his father. After his mother died, there had been very few good moments, but before that…There had to be something.
    By the time the nurse emerged a few minutes later, he’d dredged up one happy memory. He’d been five or six, and his dad had bought him his first real wooden bat and baseball. They’d played out in the yard for hours. It was one of the only occasions Jake remembered his dad playing with him.
    “All done,” the nurse said, her voice friendly yet concerned, conveying sympathy for their situation. Sympathy, Jake realized, that was wasted on him.
    He was sad, but not because his dad was wasting away. Maybe that would come. Perhaps when his father passed on. Right now his throat tightened at the realization of all they’d missed throughout his life. The family that wasn’t…
    His thoughts turned to Allie, his little girl, who made him want to smile even now as he thought about the horse drawing she’d given him.
    Sadly, he and his dad had shared almost no connection in the nineteen years they had lived under the same roof. Jake had missed the first eleven years of Allie’s life, but he had hope for the future. He wanted to make their relationship special, wanted her to have good memories of things they’d done together, moments they’d shared. He wanted to have everything with Allie that he’d missed with his dad.
    With Dean it was too late.
    Jake straightened and went back into the room, but his father had fallen asleep. Jake watched him for several minutes, again searching for childhood memories of them together, but the truth was his dad had been at work most of Jake’s waking hours. He remembered hearing him slip in the back door after Jake had gone to bed. There were occasions when Jake had woken up as his dad told him good-night and pulled up the blankets, but those were fuzzy. Jake wondered now if they’d been real or just what he’d hoped for.
    He could feel his pulse pounding in his temples. He had to get out of here. He would have to come back; he couldn’t leave things like this. But he couldn’t take more tonight, and maybe his dad couldn’t either. Dean had acted friendly, but Jake was certain they’d both felt awkward.
    He walked out of the room before his father could wake up.
     
    T HURSDAY AFTERNOON , Savannah rubbed her aching neck and struggled once again to concentrate on the work in front of her. She hadn’t slept much last night, or the nights before—ever since Jake had found out the truth about Allie and decided he wanted to be part of her life.
    The kids, for once, were avidly doing their homework, Allie in the conference room and Logan next to Savannah on the floor. She’d promised them that if they could finish their assignments before she was done with work, she would let them each rent a video. She was a firm believer in parenting by bribery at times, and this was one of them. Her headache had persisted for days now, and she acknowledged she’d been rotten company and a grumpy mother. Both kids probably deserved more than a video rental for putting up with her mood, but that was what she could afford today. Maybe Michael could spoil them this weekend.
    She frowned. She still wasn’t used to losing her kids every other weekend. They were fortunate their dad cared enough to fight for some regular hours with them, she guessed. Sharing was hard to adjust to for everyone, though. All those instances over the years when she’d secretly wished to be alone in the middle of a