The Secret Woman by Victoria Holt

that and its implication could delight me. He was going away, but when I knew him better…
    â€œYou strike me as being very self-sufficient.”
    â€œDo you think any of us really are that?”
    â€œI think some of us may be.”
    â€œYou?” he asked.
    â€œI have not yet had the time to discover.”
    â€œYou have always been cosseted?”
    â€œHardly that. But you have just made me realize that I have never exactly been on my own. But what a profound conversation! Won’t you sit down?”
    He looked round him and I laughed. “That’s how I felt when I first came here. I used to sit on a chair and say to myself, Perhaps Madame de Pompadour once sat here, or Richelieu or Talleyrand.”
    â€œBeing less erudite such a thought would not occur to me.”
    â€œLet us go into my aunt’s sitting room, that is more…habitable. That is if you have time to stay for…a little while.”
    â€œI’m sailing at seven in the morning.” He gave me that quizzical look. “I should leave before that.”
    I laughed as I led the way up the stairs and through our cluttered rooms. He was interested in some of the Chinese pieces which Aunt Charlotte had recently bought. I had forgotten how she had to make room for them in her sitting room.
    â€œAunt Charlotte bought rather lavishly on this occasion,” I said. “They belonged to a man who had lived in China. He was a collector.” I felt I had to go on talking because I was so excited that he had come to see me. “Do you like this cabinet? We call it a chest-on-chest. The lacquer is rather fine. See how it is set with ivory and mother-of-pearl. Heaven knows what she paid for it. And I wonder when she will find a buyer.”
    â€œHow knowledgeable you are.”
    â€œNothing compared with my aunt. But I’m learning. It takes a lifetime though.”
    â€œAnd,” he said gravely, studying me, “there are so many other things in life to learn.”
    â€œYou must be an expert on…the sea and ships.”
    â€œI shall never be an expert on anything.”
    â€œWho is? But where will you sit? This is perhaps more comfortable. It’s a good sturdy Spanish chair.”
    He was smiling. “What happened to the desk you had from the Castle?”
    â€œMy aunt sold it. I don’t know who was the buyer.”
    â€œI did not come to talk about furniture,” he said.
    â€œNo?”
    â€œBut to talk to you.”
    â€œI don’t think you’d find me very interesting…apart from all this.”
    He looked round the room. “It’s almost as though they’re trying to make a period piece of you.”
    There was a moment’s silence and I was suddenly aware of all the ticking clocks.
    I heard myself say almost involuntarily: “Yes, I think that is what I fear. I see myself living here, growing old, learning more and more until I know as much as Aunt Charlotte. As you say, a period piece.”
    â€œThat mustn’t happen,” he said. “The present should be lived in.”
    I said: “It was good of you to call, on your last evening.”
    â€œI should have called before, but…”
    I waited for him to go on but he had decided not to.
    â€œI heard about you,” he said.
    â€œYou heard about me?”
    â€œMiss Brett the Elder is well-known in Langmouth. I heard that she drives a hard bargain.”
    â€œLady Crediton told you that.”
    â€œShe was under the impression that she drove a harder one. That was the occasion when we first met.” And then: “What do you know about me?”
    I was afraid to repeat Ellen’s story in case it was wrong.
    â€œI had heard that you live at the Castle, that you are not Lady Crediton’s son.”
    â€œThen you will understand that I was in a somewhat invidious position from the beginning.” He began to laugh. “I can talk to you of this